- Warning a bit of trauma dumping in this piece of poetry.

I knew there was something up with me since middle school
The early years were the start of a realization
That I have a different sensibility
A reality that would make my life different
Knowing that there would be a possibility that this would be my reality Realizing that my reality was going to be evident
Seeing a poster on a wall on a school trip thinking that am I part of that community?
Sharing some common ground with a singer knowing that we have a shared perspective

High school led to a realization that there is no room for beautiful
Conundrum of conformity leading me to abandon my interests so I can settle in with the majority
Knowing that I am not exactly part of this reality
Changing my interests so I can survive
Unfortunately people sense the real you before you can understand yourself Facing harassment and violence because they do not want you to be
It was not magical in a time before civil rights protection
Wish I could have found a knight to be my savior
Chased on a street walking home rescued by a motorist fed up with the harassment
Violently dunked in a pool before the end of a school year
Wish I could have flourished
The past is only a memory
But internalized trauma makes the future harder to navigate
For one to see a better sense of self

Older people morning the reality they could have had today
Imagining a time where our crushes and relationships would have been celebrated Wish I could have had the fortitude to be brave
There is a need for pride
So we can celebrate the survivors and make sure the present is never like the past
Our lives may not be the same
However special people should have the right to shine on

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* Origin: http://www.weather-station.org * Bel Air, MD -USA (11:1/101.0)

Facing harassment and violence because they do not want you to be
It was not magical in a time before civil rights protection

Totally agreed with what you said in that post, but .. There are people that were treated exactly the same way, but that can't point to something and say "It's because of this." What do those people do or think? What can they set their mind "at ease" with as the reason they were harassed and bullied for?
Not to put down anyone else's plight, and cruelty is fucked up no matter what, but sometimes it seems entirely senseless.

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--- WWIVToss v.1.52
* Origin: http://www.weather-station.org * Bel Air, MD -USA (11:1/101.0)

Totally agreed with what you said in that post, but .. There are people
that were treated exactly the same way, but that can't point to something and say "It's because of this." What do those people do or think? What can they set their mind "at ease" with as the reason they were harassed and bullied for? Not to put down anyone else's plight, and cruelty is fucked
up no matter what, but sometimes it seems entirely senseless.

Agreed. People that feel the need to bully others regardless of the reason have apparent insecurity issues. Every single person I knew that bullied people in middle/high school had major insecurity issues. Some grew out of it and got their act together and some are still that try to make themselves look better by downing others. Just pathetic.

- Mark

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--- WWIVToss v.1.52
* Origin: http://www.weather-station.org * Bel Air, MD -USA (11:1/101.0)