From Newsgroup: uk.people.silversurfers

Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the
European parliament and the Clinton administration in the united
states have commissioned a feasibility study in ways of improving
efficiency in communications between government departments in the
various countries.

European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult- for example, cough, plough, rough, through
and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased program of changes
to iron out these anomalies. The program would, of course, be
administered by a committee staffed at top level by participating
nations.

In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using 's'
instead of the soft 'c'. sertainly, sivil servants in all sities
would resieve this news with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be
replaced by 'k' sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only
would this klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but
typewriters kould be made with one less letter.

There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond, year it was
announsed that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be written 'f'.
This would make words like 'fotograf' 20% or so shorter in print.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are
possible. Governments would enkourage the removal of double letters
which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.

We would al agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful. Therefor we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ
as though nothing had hapend. By this tim it would be four years
sins the skem began and peopl would be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing 'th' by 'z'. Perhaps zen ze funktion of 'w' kould be taken
on by 'v', vitsh is after all, half a 'w'. Shortly after zis, ze
unesesary 'o' kould be dropd from words kontaining 'ou'. Similar
arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

Kontinuing zis proces yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli
sensibl riten styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls,
difikultis and evrivun vud fin it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze
drems of ze guverment vud finali hav kum tru.

Copied from a packet radio bulletin dated 29/10/2001
--
Bri.
(Windows 11 Desktop)
https://www.BriMarg.co.uk
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From Newsgroup: uk.people.silversurfers

On 2/3/26 5:12 pm, Bri. wrote:

Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the
European parliament and the Clinton administration in the united
states have commissioned a feasibility study in ways of improving
efficiency in communications between government departments in the
various countries.

Kontinuing zis proces yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli
sensibl riten styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls,
difikultis and evrivun vud fin it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze
drems of ze guverment vud finali hav kum tru.

By the last paragraph, the *real* reason has become obvious. It was the
EU's intention that we should all actually have to speak German one day
- which it would appear to have become. It's no use telling Clinton
though - Mercans don't speak English anyway and, as it lies outside the boundaries of their known world, (who else call a game the "World
Series" when no-one else plays it) most have never heard of Germany
either. A few of them got close enough to it to turn up late and claim
the glory a couple of years back, but that was the only time they ever
had to learn any geography. :-)
--
Tetbury, Gloucestershire, UK
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