From Newsgroup: soc.culture.indian

Time and time again, I am left wondering who I am. In my search for the
self I have come across certain postulates of the self that have helped
me find my place in this world. I try to mention identities that are
proven documentarally, actually, and theoretically; which is the basis
of truth. Please check it out and let me know what you think.

0. Dietaraly, I am a Vegetarian
1. Ethnicaly, I am a Desi
2. Linguisticaly, I am an Indo-European
3. Culturaly, I am a Jew
4. Spiritualy, I am a Christian
5. Racialy, I am a Caucasian
6. Politicaly, I am an Anglophone
7. Economicaly, I am a Kamma
8. Ancestoraly, I am a Telugu
9. Anthropologicaly, I am a Dravidian
10. Astrologicaly, I am a Sagittarius
11. Intellectualy, I am a Superior
12. Avocationaly, I am a Webmaster
13. Sexualy, I am a Hetero
14. Instinctively, I am a Dionysian
15. Medicaly, I am an Anomaly
16. Stereotypicaly, I am a Habibi
17. Existentialy, I am an Indian
18. Academicaly, I am a Russian
19. Morphologicaly, I am an Human
20. Superficialy, I am a Hispanic
21. Photogenicaly, I am a Gweilo
22. Calisthenicaly, I am an American
23. Physicaly, I am a Roman
24. Criminaly, I am an Asian
25. Functionaly, I am a Latino
26. Martialy, I am a European
27. Fashionably, I am a Francophoned
28. Ontologicaly, I am a Greek
29. Internationaly, I am a Native
30. Secretly, I am a Muslim
31. Militarily, I am a Paki
32. Institutionaly, I am an Alien
33. Metaphoricaly, I am a Feminist
34. Vocaly, I am a Blackman

Notes:
The above mentioned words are what I gathered in my travels here in New
York City. I find they work really well toward some level of
functionality. I use such words with the understanding that we as humans
we are 99.99% the same. I try to take on the abilities of others unto
myself.

So many have some kind of identity of one kind or the other. The above mentioned list is just my vain attempt at making sense of somethings
which have worked for others and myself. May it also help you as it has
helped me.

It is a brain teaser, I must say, and is influenced by the Rand
institute which I read online at one time to say I am this or that. The
book "The Fountainhead" is an interesting read recommended to me by
Hillary Clinton. Dealing with the work life and the institutional system
can be really overwhelming and fitting into some kind of reciprocity
helps to overcome the odds. So, check it out.

Being Asian for me was not a good experience. It started off pretty good
but once I applied for American citizenship and got attacked by Blacks, Hispanics, and Whites then it soured and led me into a world of jail, institution, homelessness, and rehab; something I only rectified by
converting to Christianity and admitting to being a Christian. However,
sex with the Asian people was really good.

Previously, I tried being racially an Asian but encountered a barrier
when the Orientals considered me not to be Asian. Then, under some form
of auditory hallucination I am led to believe that Black, White, Asian, Hispanic are economic classes of some kind. So is being Asian
economically valid? Time will tell. Definitely, when I was an Asian in
some way, form, or the other traveling, touring, socializing, and sexing
was really good. I was also able to save $600 a month. I also did pretty
well in school and could only graduate college once I claimed to be
Asian in the survey about race in the college application.

In all honesty, I never knew how to identify with the word Asian. So,
this time around I am trying to be ancestrally an Asian. Maybe it will
work. I gave up on being ancestrally Asian as the Asian experience was
one wrought with anxiety and depression. It was a living hell. Not only
that but the Orientals do not accept me as Asian anyway.

Now, I am trying to be politically Asian. Does it work? Again, the
culture of liquor, violence, prostitution, gambling, and cultism is
rampant all throughout Asian culture, largely stemming from the
Orientals. That is the danger.

Now, I am trying to be academically an Asian. I must say in my final
year in college I applied as an Asian rather than as Indian, Desi, or Dravidian in the college survey on how I identify myself. Somehow being
an Asian I was able to socialize with a beautiful Pakistani woman and
study effectively to get all A(s) in my classes. In a way being Asian
works only in Academia. So, it is for this reason why I claim to be academically an Asian.

Now, I am identifying with being criminally an Asian for the Asian
identity is too wrought with some form of criminal ideation. I did go
liquor, violence, prostitution, gambling, and cultism as an Asian. I am learning how to deal with it by having a better criminal ideation, for
the Asian people from the Orient are the most eloquent criminals in the
world. Being criminally an Asian better helps deal with my sin nature.
Also, being criminally an Asian helped to ward off the demons or
auditory hallucinations that haunted me for so long. Maybe it will
work. This is my last try as an Asian.

I find those identities of Black, White Asian, and Hispanic which are mentioned in government and college surveys are political identities.
Some work better than others. It is for that reason why I am admitting
to being politically Blacky. In a way, many of my good close friends of
many years have been Blacks. It only makes sense that I honor my
relationship with them by being politically Blacky.

I gave up on being Blacky as it is causing me memory problems. Somehow
being Whitey is helping more than being Blacky. How to be Blacky I have
no clue as it conflicts with most of my identities like being Whitey.
Yet, a Black coworker would insist that I am more Black than Asian. I
took it to heart for many years but ended up in jail, institution,
homeless shelter, and rehab as a result. That is the danger of being
Black or Blacky.

Being a Black is one of the most difficult tings as it is in conflict
with other people. However, I do notice that when I say that I am Black
in some way I end up sleeping better. The sleep is so refreshing and vitalizing. The only issue is that my hand eye coordination is off. Why
I do not know as the Blacks I have observed have really good hand eye coordination and physique. How to apply the Black identity is a mystery
for now.

In a way, I think identifying with being Black was the downfall of my
life. It was around my mid-30s that I took the Black identity more
seriously at the encouragement of a Black coworker. She would insist
that I be Black and is a better fit for me than Asian. However, being
Black led me into a culture of jail, institution, homelessness, and
rehab. It was really disillusioning. I can say for sure that I am not
Black, African, or even Colored in any way, shape, form, or other. Those identities just do not work for me.

Will being anthropologically Negro help me develop my upper body? Time
will tell. I hesitate using the word Negro for myself as it lead me into
jail, institution, homelessness, and rehab at one time in my life.

As far as the Negro identity is concerned, I am now trying to be
physically a Negro for the strong muscles and back are from the Negro diaspora. They are able to lift heavy weights and live long with a
practice of prayer and reading, writing, arithmetic.

I have settled on being vocally Black as it has proven itself among the African diaspora. Many Blacks have a strong voice and is their plus
point in life. So, maybe being vocally a Blackman will help me fit into
their reciprocity.

Now, I am trying to be politically a Democrat. Although I was registered
in the republican part for some years I never could relate to their
focus on corporate slavery and strict work ethic. I like what the
Democrats strive for like healthcare, free education, universal basic
income, and even free transportation.

I let go of the Democrat political identity as it did not help me that
much. Now, I am trying to be politically Native as in a way I am a
Native of the Indian subcontinent. I found the Natives of America are
really good looking and are seriously good at wearing nice clothing and
have a good look for a dark skinned people to boot.

Now, I have settled on being politically Anglophone as the english
speakers at the most politically sovereign and hegemoneous. Most of the politicians in the USA are english speakers and it is the one language
for which the America republic stands for.

One identity I toyed around with was the Dravidian one from South India.
When I identified with being Dravidian I was homeless. The food,
clothing, and sex was really good but that may have been because I also identified with being Black and Asian. Being Dravidian was not a good experience. Somehow handing over my life to Jesus Christ and then later
on converting to Christianity saved me from the curse of being
Dravidian. Nonetheless, I am saying now that I am anthropologically
Dravidian since I do not know anything better.

Also, This time I am trying to be economically Kamma. Will it work? God
only knows. I am trying to be economically a Kamma, which is my caste identity. Maybe it will work. I read that economic status is based on
income, education, and profession. Indeed, that is what Kammas are known
for. Kammas have a six figure income, have at least a master's diploma,
and are of some profession as in lawyer or doctor.

Being Indian was no good medically, residentially, economically, and
even politically. However, I did did well academically as an Indian in
terms of school and went to well ranked schools during those days of
Indian citizenship. After so many years of psychotherapy I am lead to
believe that I am racially an Indian. Definitely, my Black friends think
so and are adamant about it.

So, now I am trying to be existentially an Indian and indeed the
existential doubt I went through after American naturalization was only quelled by being Indian in some way again. Indeed, existentialism is a philosophical framework about individualism and free will and that is
what Indians are all about.

Being a Desi I dressed nice and bought good clothes.

Being a Christian the housing is really good.

I am not sure of the economic status of being American. Trying it out,
though. I opted for being culturally American as it is the most sought
out for the world over. However, the identity of being calisthenically
an American is working out really well. In a way, my hand eye
coordination has worked out to some degree by being calisthenically an American.

The Paki identity is a new one for me so I still have time to figure it
out. What will Paki lead me toward? I find Pakis are well recognized and
are well protected from harm. Will being a Paki keep me be safe from
assault? So, I am trying to be militarily a Paki. At one time when I
was a part of the Suma Ching Hai cult I was told I look like a soldier.
Trying that identity of soldier lead me to travel the world. It was
kind of strange. So, I am opting for being militarily a Paki instead.
Maybe it works. Who knows?

Will being Telugu engender a good family? Oddly enough although I am a
Telugu by birth, it is only in my late 40s that I identified with being
a Telugu. Go figure.

As far as culture is concerned, I am inclined to say that I am American
but the Guyanese identity is too alluring to not mention.

Being anthropologically a Caucasian makes sense to me and is quite
alluring given white privilege but I am inclined to say I am
anthropologically a Negro. However, the Negro identity conflicts with
the Indian race identity so I forgoed saying it for my self. So, I opted
for being racially a Caucasian and physically a Negro. And I say to
myself that I am existentially an Indian.

Being superficially a Hispanic helped me to not be so spastic. I able to
do things without shivering and shaking and being nervous too much.

All these postulates of the self help with memory and will power.
Somethings work. So give it a try and say the words that help you and
are proven documentarilly, actually, and theoretically.

Disclaimer:
-----------
The above is a process of enlightenment that took me from the Himalayas
and back. Somethings work. Somethings remain the same, while
somethings change. It goes on. There is no that of a thing as a
hundred percent.
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