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And we're back in the past and can check the eyrie archive
once again.
Here's where you can find this and more LNH
Misc Story Action!:
https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/Misc/
And it's The Great Public Domain Caper Part One
by Ken Schmidt!
Is it time for some Moonlighting?!!
Is it time for some Divide and
Conquer?!!
Is it time for some -- TSAR CHASM?!!!!!
Find out in...
_
| | Classic
| | =
| | ____ ____ _ ____ ___
| |__ | [] | | [] | | | | [] | | _ \
|____| \__] \__ | |_| \__/ |_|\_\
||
|_| OF NET.HEROES
ADVENTURES #424
=====================
THE GREAT PUBLIC DOMAIN CAPER! Part One
=====================
****************************************************************************** THE GREAT PUBLIC DOMAIN CAPER!
Trade EtherBack ***************************************************************************** [NOTE: Events in parts 1 and 2 take place shortly before Lettering Man #7
and Particle Man #3]
_______________________________________________________________________
"What do you mean "Can we cancel our lesson for today"?????"
"Well Ninj, we were invited to go to a meeting tonight. We
were planning on going. I thought Bad Timing Boy said something to you."
Was
all Parking Karma Kid could manage under UN withering glare.
"Oh, yeah, that reminds me..." began Bad Timing Boy, before he was cut
off by Cannon Fodder.
"That's a bit late, now.(CF shakes his head) Actually, I'm not going
to the meeting"
UN looked at Cheesecake Eater Lad, Bad Timing Boy and Parking Karma
Kid, who were standing next to Cannon Fodder. "You see, at least one of you
has
the dedication it takes to survive. Cannon Fodder, I'm gla... not angry you decided to stay."
"Well, I didn't say I was staying. I'm just not going to the meeting.
I was offered a job at a movie!" Cannon Fodder was smiling from ear to ear.
"That's great. Well, tonight we'll work on....WHAT DID YOU SAY??!!!"
"I said I wasn't going to the meeting?" CF said hopeful.
"No, no. AFTER that."
CF response was barely a squeak "I got a job at a movie."
"WHAT DO YOU NEED A JOB FOR?" UN composed himself. "What do you need
a job for? Doesn't the LNH give you enough to do? Because if it doesn't I
can
always, at any time of night or day _find_ something for you to do." UN had moved in front of Cannon Fodder and was standing nose-to-nose with him.
"Well, this is just for some extra cash. The Legion can't match the
movie's payscale." CF said with a shrug.
UN just shook his head, and turned to the others "Who is all going to
this meeting? Is it just the three of you?"
"Oh, no" said Cheesecake Eater Lad "If I remember correctly it is the
four... I mean the three of us. At first I was busy and offered my invite
to
Domestic Lad but my schedule cleared."
"Who?"
"Domestic Lad, he came here earlier in the week."
"Never read of him. Must be a nobody."
"He's a great guy, I think. I've only talked to him that time
he fixed the slurpee machine."
"What was the matter with the slurpee machine?" UN glared again.
"Nothing...he just helped me clear out the Cheesecake Slurpee and put
Cream Soda back in." Behind CCEL's back Parking Karma Kid put his index
finger
down his thoat and looked at Cannon Fodder and Bad Timing Boy.
"Why did you put your finger..?" Bad Timing Boy was cut off by a smack
to his head by Cannon Fodder. "...forget it."
"Anyway, the three of us, Adamant Authority on Everything, Amorphous
Lad, California Kid, Captain Capitalize (PKK and BTB groaned), Entropy Kid, Hooded Ho`'od Win, Irony Man, Mainstream Man, Procrastination Boy, Typo Lad, Sarcastic Lad(PKK and BTB groaned louder), All-Knowing Last Chance Whiner Destiny Woman, Catalyst Lass, and Sing Along Lass." CCEL recited and
counted
on his fingers. "Some others were invited, but they are busy and can't go.
I
don't know why."
"I do!" said Flameproof Lad, as he walked to the others. "They got
some jobs, just like me."
"What? Why does everyone think they need jobs outside the LNH. I
can barely keep up with the group as it is!" said Ultimate Ninja.
"Well, not everyone is as busy as you are." said Flameproof Lad.
"What do you mean?"
"You are always out on some mission, you have things to keep you busy.
Some of us NWC-types aren't used in missions very often. I get a little
bored
waiting around, so I took a job. I'm a fireman and tonight is my first
night."
Cannon Fodder cut back in,"That's great, I'm a stunt man on the set of
'Deadly People IV: Back for More!' and I start tonight! What is anyone else doing?"
"Lesse... Trivia King and Trivia Master are writing questions for a
game show, uh,... Nit-Pick Lad was hired for some quality control work, Browsing Boy is working at the Library, Incredible Un-sleeping Man and
Late-
Nite Lad are security guards, that is all I know."
Ultimate Ninja's breathing became more and more labored at each name
and job. He was about to say what was on his mind, but was cut off.
"Oh, man! It's getting late." Said PKK. "We'd better get going."
"Where are you going to be? When will you be back?" asked UN.
"Don't worry! We'll be fine...Dad" PKK smiled, adding the last part
as he went out the door, and the group started laughing.
******************************************************************************
"WELCOME to our meeting. I know you must have many questions,
so let's just start with them, shall we? Yes, you in the front... Irony
Man,
I believe?"
"Yes," began Irony Man," Well, we are all kind of confused. I suppose
everyone here got an invitation, but we are all wondering what exactly this meeting is about."
"No, most of us want to know when the *food* is served." came a voice
from the back.
"I don't know why you're here Sarcastic Lad, you aren't exactly
'Public Domain', like the rest of us."
"I guess some people realize brilliance, and just can't keep me away."
"Please, please." said the man behind the podium. "This group is for
any who wish to join. I thought for sure my assistant here (indicates the
man
standing next to him) gave instructions that an invitation was to be
extended
to every member of the LNH. I guess the WC's and other NWC's just felt
their
time was too valuable to spend with the rest of us here."
The speaker looked out over the audience. He knew he had to choose his
words carefully...for now. He did not want to incite this group...yet.
"Yeah, that seems to happen a lot." mumbled Entropy Kid, who remained
quiet through the rest of the meeting.
"Now, why we are here. Hmmm, where to begin. Ah, yes. You are here
because I have sensed that you all need each other for support."
"How would *you* know *that*?" asked California Kid.
"I am an ardent follower of the exploits of the LNH, at least the ones
that make the press." He said with a shrug and small smile. "Lately I
have
not noticed many of your names in the press. I ask myself 'How could that
be?
How can all of the WC's have all of the exploits, and glory of the LNH, when everyone knows that it is often the behind the scence people who are the
most
important.'"
"I'VE SAID THAT OFTEN MYSELF" said Catalyst Lass.
"Hey, would you quit shouting!"
"I'M NOT SHOUTING, WHAT ARE... HEY CAPITALIZE, CAN WE HOLD THE
POWER IN CHECK FOR JUST ONE meeting? jeez! Thanks."
"Sorry." Came the sheepish reply.
"Now, the main reason I've invited you all here is to mingle. Get to
know each other better, which will help each individual feel more a part of
the whole we hope you will become."
Sarcastic Lad just shook his head. "*Hello*. We all live together in
the LNHHQ. Excuse me, but is anyone home? We see each other everyday."
"True, but how often do you *interact* with one another. Now, please,
go to the back and eat as much as you like. All I ask is that you talk to someone you normally don't."
The members of the LNH moved to the area with the food. The man who
was speaking earlier, and the man he called his assistant began to mingle
and
catch spippits of the conversation.
"...yeah, I got passed up..."
"...sorry, monitor duty, man that sucks!..."
"...she's lookin' good! Oww! Hey, I was kidding! Owww! Stop..."
The speaker excused himself, and went through a door behind the
platform he was speaking on earlier. The assistant engaged in conversation with Amorphous Lad and Hooded Ho`'od Win. The speaker closed the door
behind
him and was cut off from the sounds of the conversation.
"Well Orator, how does it go?" Came a voice from inside the dark
room. The speaker turned and saw the glint of shining armor and wisps of a royal blue cape billowing out of the shadows of the room.
"It proceeds as planned. Recruiter is working on the two members, as
you had commanded."
"Excellent. The food has been prepared as specified?"
"The chemicals have been added."
"Excellent, again. When you speak next, the LNH members will be
unable to resist!"
"The device is ready?"
"Yes, I am only waiting for the LNHers to consume enough of the laced
food to engage it. The combination of the chemicals and the frequencies produced by my device will make them do my bidding."
"How are you certain they will eat enough?"
"Simple. What are people when they are in an unfamiliar situation?"
"Umm,...nervous?"
"Correct. Now what do people do when they are nervous?"
"Ahh, eat?"
"Right, again." He said smugly. He sometimes regretted the necessity
of limiting his lackeys' mental capabilities, but it was ego massaging like this that made it worth the pain. "I think you can begin again in a few minutes. They should be ready." The man in the shadows dramatically
pressed
a button that made the device hum to life.
Orator returned to the group of people who had made short work of the
prepared food. He looked at Recruiter who nodded in his direction. That
was
the signal. Soon the Public Domain NWC's from the LNH would be doing the bidding of...Tsar Chasm and the Independ Net Conquerers! ****************************************************************************** FIN, part I ****************************************************************************** "Please, please take your seats, I have a few more thing I would like
to discuss before we close the meeting tonight." Orator stood behind his podium, motioning for everyone to come back to their seats.
"I wish I would have brought a cheesecake. I feel rude for not
bringing anything with me." Said CheeseCake Eater Lad as he sat back down.
"Oh, yes, a delicacy that we don't get enough of already," said
Sarcastic Lad as he rolled his eyes.
Catalyst Lass cut off their conversation. "Hey, what is that humming
sound? It sounds like a machine of some sort."
Recruiter quickly answered, "Er, that's the air conditioning. We, uhm,
don't want to make our guests here uncomfortable."
"Please take your seats, I don't want to take up too much more of your
valuable time." Orator gestured toward the seats again hoping to hurry everyone up. The last LNHer was finally seated (Procrastination Boy had to hurry to the bathroom after drinking so much) and Orator began speaking
again.
This time however the LNHers were 'prepared' for the real speech.
"I want to ask you a question. Why do you continue to play second
fiddle to the WC's? What makes them so much better than you?" Orator was using his power of suggestion to augment the machine and the chemicals.
Even
with the boost he could sense that some of the LNHers wouldn't be swayed
as easily as the others. He began to pace along the stage and gesture to
the
group. "The only difference is that you were created, and then forgotten about. Every writer loves their WC. But what about all of the NWC's?
What
about all of you?"
Sarcastic Lad cut in, "Well my writer.."
Orator interrupted SL. "Yes, your writer, what a fine place to start
and prove what I am speaking about. Someone asked earlier why Sarcastic Lad was here. It is because he was once a WC, but his owner lost interest and
soon changed him to an NWC." Orator had walked out into the crowd toward
the seat that Sarcastic Lad was in and looked as if he were going to
continue,
but stopped at Procrastination Boy. "And poor, poor Procrastination Boy." Orator looked down and shook his head.
"What do you mean 'poor, poor Procrastination Boy'?" asked SL.
"Who remembers what happened when Occultism Kid was called Occultism
Lad?" Everyone's hands shot up.
"Flames!" Most of the LNHers said in unison, feeling the combined
effect of the chemicals, the machine, and Orator's powers.
"YES! Flames. Now what happened when Procrastination Boy was called Procrastination Lad?" The question was answered with blank stares and the LNHers looking at each other, slightly confused. [see Ultimate Nightmare
for
'Procrastination Lad' -K] "Why, no one said anything. That is just what I mean. If the WC's won't defend you, who will? You must stop trusting the WC's, go off on your own and..."
"NOW WAITAMINNIT!!!" Said Cheesecake Eater Lad," You can't be
telling us to leave the Legion! I thought this was supposed to be a support meeting, not 'hey lets bash the WC's'. I don't know about the rest of you,
but
I think this meeting is starting to stink! I'm leaving, and I suggest that everyone else do as well." CCEL stormed out the door followed by Parking
Karma Kid. The rest kind of wavered, but eventually got up and started to leave.
"NO! Don't do it! You'll be nothing at the LNH! You'll be used and
cast aside. Replaced, even! Don't leave!" Orator was shouting
frantically
at the mass departure. Sarcastic Lad, Hooded Ho`'odWin, and Amorphous Lad
were the last left. Orator focused on them. "Please, listen to me! You
must listen!" The three eventually went out the door, leaving Orator and Recruiter alone in the room.
Recruiter turned to Orator and said,"Uh-oh, I don't think that was
quite how it was supposed to go. I hope the boss isn't too mad."
A voice came in from behind them. "Now Recruiter, what could
possibly make me mad?"
"This isn't how we planned it."
"True, but the seeds are planted. The NWCs will at first notice
nothing out of the ordinary. But then they will begin to distance
themselves
from the WC's. Friendly jibes will be taken as insults, the NWC's will
begin
to learn that I, Tsar Chasm, am their master. They will help me in the conquest of the LNH, and then the entire net!"
"Oh, I don't know about that. Some of them were pretty PO'ed at that
last part. I don't know if they were converted."
"There are always a few bad apples. No matter, the three I need will
be back soon enough. The others will eventually fall into place, and the
rest
can be dealt with in the same way the WC's will be. This plan shall succeed and soon the net shall be MINE!"
(Menacing laughter fades us to...)
The foreman walked quickly to intercept the president of the company,
and his entourage before they made it to the assembly line. "Sir! Your
visit
has taken me by surprize. We are on schedule, aren't we?"
"No you are not. (the foreman paled) As a matter of fact you are about
a week ahead of your production schedule. I'm here to find out what caused this sudden turn-around in your workers."
The foreman exhaled deeply. "Well, sir, it must be our new quality
controller. He has found flaws in the process that we never even noticed. Injuries are down and production is up. There's only one problem."
"Problem? What could the problem be? Where is he? I want to meet
this man who has saved me us so much money."
"He's over there, but, sir..,"
The president walked past the foreman towards the man indicated. He
was talking to a few of the workers who didn't look too happy.
"...and furthermore you guys slouch too much. Honestly I can't see
how you get anything done all hunched over. It's bad for your back too."
The president walked up and started to speak to the new quality
controller. "Pardon me son, but I came down here to congratulate you on the fine job you've..."
"Who let this man down here??? How can I be expected to keep a level
of safety around here when people are walking around unprotected like
this???"
"Son, I'm the president of this company, I make the rules. Now, I
don't believe I caught you name, Mr. (looks at ID badge) Lad?? Do you have
a first name to go with that?"
"Yeah. Just call me Nit-Pick Lad."
"Fine Nit-Pick Lad, I just wanted to come down and congratulate you
on the amazing turnaround you've done for us here."
"The president, huh? So don't you think you should set a better
example for the workers?"
"I don't follow you."
"Well, just look. (NPL began ticking things off on his fingers) Your
tie is on crooked, your suit is in desparate need of ironing, your hair
looks
like a bird's nest, your left eye is squintier than your right..."
The president looked at the foreman who just shrugged.
"...oh, my dear Lord! Your socks aren't even clean, and..."
******************************************************************************
Cannon Fodder had been hurrried through wardrobe and make-up and was
then introduced to the director.
"Well, Crayon Folder, in this scene..."
"Excuse me, that's Cannon Fodder."
"Yeah, whatever. Like I said in this scene you start up on the roof
of that building (pointed up). First you get stabbed in the side and
stumble
towards the edge. Then you get shot and fall over the side." The director stood his fingers out and then bent his hand at the wrist to illustrate what
he meant to CF.
"That sounds reason..."
"But you get caught in the awning over the doorway. You bounce out on
to the sidewalk and then you get up and stumble into the street."
"I could do tha..."
"As you wander around in the street a big van hits you and sends you
through that window where you are covered in a highly flammable liquid.
Then
a spark will be set off that will ignite you. How does that sound?"
"Hmmm, well with the special effects that should look really cool!"
"Special effects? There are no special effects."
"No special effects? I'll be killed if I do all of that stuff!"
"My movies demand realism. Besides I thought you were supposed to be
able to come back to life."
"That doesn't mean I look forward to getting killed!"
"Ahh, we'll work on it." **************************************************************************
California Kid wandered into the kitchen to get a late-night snack
and found Entropy Kid, Sarcastic Lad and Trivia King already there.
"Hey King, I thought you were in Netwood writing questions for a game
show or something."
"No and yes. I am writing questions but I am not in Netwood. They
let me fax in the stuff that me and Trivia Master come up with."
"Please CK, join us here in the present where we have technology," said Sarcastic Lad in his normal tone.
"Yea, you kill me SL." California Kid looked through the assortment of
pizza's they others had ordered and were munching on. "Do you mind if I
have
a piece. Thanks. So what are the two of you doing up?" CK said,
indicating
Entropy Kid and Sarcastic Lad.
"I dunno. That meeting I guess," said Sarcastic Lad. "Those guys were
wacko, but I don't know."
"Don't know what?" Asked Trivia King. "I missed the meeting. What
exactly happend?"
"They tried to get us to leave the LNH and start out on our own."
"That's crazy!"
"I know, but they did have some good points."
"Yeah," Agreed Entropy Kid around a mouthful of pizza.
"I can't imagine what they could have been," said Trivia King, who
finished off his last piece of pizza. "Well I'm bushed. My brain hurts
from writing all those questions. Catch you guys late in the A.M."
"What good points are you talking about?"
"Well some of the other guys aren't always considered to be used. And
I guess I never really thought about me becomming an NWC, it never really bothered me until the meeting, I guess."
"Don't let it worry you. I think everyone was feeling a bit funny
after that meeting."
"What do you mean?"
"I walked by a few of the others' rooms and they were thrashing all
over the place, but they were still asleep."
"Hmm, I wonder what it means?" Said Entropy Kid, finishing off his
last bite if pizza. *************************************************************************** FIN, part II ***************************************************************************
==========
Next Week: Something something LNH!!
==========
Arthur "Same Classic Channel. But Same Time? Probably not." Spitzer
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<div dir=3D"ltr">And we're back in the past and can check the eyrie arc= hive <br>once again.<br><br><br>Here's where you can find this and more=
LNH<br>Misc Story Action!:<br><br><a href=3D"
https://archives.eyrie.org/ra= cc/lnh/Misc/">
https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/Misc/</a><br><br><br>And = it's The Great Public Domain Caper Part One<br>by Ken Schmidt!<br><br><= br>Is it time for some Moonlighting?!!<br>Is it time for some Divide and<br= >Conquer?!!<br>Is it time for some -- TSAR CHASM?!!!!!<br><br>Find out in..= .<br><br><br><br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 _ <b=
=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0| | =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0C= lassic <br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0| | =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0=3D<br>= =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0| | =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0___=
_ =C2=A0 =C2=A0____ =C2=A0 =C2=A0_ =C2=A0 =C2=A0____ =C2=A0 =C2=A0___<br>= =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0| |__ =C2=A0 | [] | =C2=A0|=
[] | =C2=A0| | =C2=A0| [] | =C2=A0| _ \ =C2=A0<br><br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0=
=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0|____| =C2=A0 \__] =C2=A0 =C2=A0\__ | =C2=A0|_|=
=C2=A0 \__/ =C2=A0 |_|\_\<br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2= =A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0||= <br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 = =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 |_| =C2=A0OF NET.HEROES<br><br>= =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 ADVENTURES #424<br><br= ><br><br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2= =A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D= =3D=3D=3D=3D<br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 THE=
GREAT PUBLIC DOMAIN CAPER!=C2=A0 Part One<br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 = =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0=3D=3D=3D=3D= =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D<br><br><br><br><br>****= **************************************************************************<=
THE GREAT PUBLIC DOMAIN CAPER!<br> Trade EtherBack<br>************=
*****************************************************************<br>[NOTE:=
=C2=A0Events in parts 1 and 2 take place shortly before Lettering Man #7<b=
and Particle Man #3]<br><br>____________________________________________=
___________________________ <br><br> "What do you mean "Can we ca= ncel our lesson for today"?????"<br><br> "Well Ninj, we were=
invited to go to a meeting tonight.=C2=A0 We <br>were planning on going.= =C2=A0 I thought Bad Timing Boy said something to you." =C2=A0Was<br>a=
ll Parking Karma Kid could manage under UN withering glare.<br><br> "O=
h, yeah, that reminds me..." began Bad Timing Boy, before he was cut<b= r>off by Cannon Fodder.<br><br> "That's a bit late, now.(CF shakes=
his head) =C2=A0Actually, I'm not going<br>to the meeting"<br><br=
UN looked at Cheesecake Eater Lad, Bad Timing Boy and Parking Karma <br>K=
id, who were standing next to Cannon Fodder. "You see, at least one of=
you has<br>the dedication it takes to survive.=C2=A0 Cannon Fodder, I'=
m gla... not angry you<br>decided to stay."<br><br> "Well, I didn=
't say I was staying.=C2=A0 I'm just not going to the meeting.<br>I=
was offered a job at a movie!" =C2=A0Cannon Fodder was smiling from e=
ar to ear.<br><br> "That's great.=C2=A0 Well, tonight we'll wo=
rk on....WHAT DID YOU SAY??!!!"<br><br> "I said I wasn't goin= g to the meeting?" =C2=A0CF said hopeful.<br><br> "No, no. AFTER = that."<br><br> CF response was barely a squeak "I got a job at a =
movie."<br><br> "WHAT DO YOU NEED A JOB FOR?" =C2=A0UN compo= sed himself. =C2=A0"What do you need<br>a job for? Doesn't the LNH=
give you enough to do?=C2=A0 Because if it doesn't I can<br>always, at=
any time of night or day _find_ something for you to do." =C2=A0UN ha= d<br>moved in front of Cannon Fodder and was standing nose-to-nose with him= .<br><br> "Well, this is just for some extra cash.=C2=A0 The Legion ca=
n't match the<br>movie's payscale." =C2=A0CF said with a shrug= .<br><br> UN just shook his head, and turned to the others =C2=A0"Who =
is all going to<br>this meeting?=C2=A0 Is it just the three of you?"<b= r><br> "Oh, no" said Cheesecake Eater Lad "If I remember cor= rectly it is the <br>four... I mean the three of us.=C2=A0 At first I was b= usy and offered my invite to <br>Domestic Lad but my schedule cleared."= ;<br><br> "Who?"<br><br> "Domestic Lad, he came here earlier=
in the week."<br><br> "Never read of him.=C2=A0 Must be a nobody=
."<br><br> "He's a great guy, I think.=C2=A0 I've only ta= lked to him that time<br>he fixed the slurpee machine."<br><br> "= What was the matter with the slurpee machine?" =C2=A0UN glared again.<= br><br> "Nothing...he just helped me clear out the Cheesecake Slurpee = and put<br>Cream Soda back in." =C2=A0Behind CCEL's back Parking K= arma Kid put his index finger<br>down his thoat and looked at Cannon Fodder=
and Bad Timing Boy.<br><br> "Why did you put your finger..?" =C2= =A0Bad Timing Boy was cut off by a smack<br>to his head by Cannon Fodder. = =C2=A0"...forget it."<br><br> "Anyway, the three of us, Adam= ant Authority on Everything, Amorphous<br>Lad, California Kid, Captain Capi= talize (PKK and BTB groaned), Entropy Kid, <br>Hooded Ho`'od Win, Irony=
Man, Mainstream Man, Procrastination Boy, Typo Lad,<br>Sarcastic Lad(PKK a=
nd BTB groaned louder), All-Knowing Last Chance Whiner <br>Destiny Woman, C= atalyst Lass, and Sing Along Lass." =C2=A0CCEL recited and counted <br= >on his fingers. "Some others were invited, but they are busy and can&= #39;t go. =C2=A0I<br>don't know why."<br><br> "I do!" = =C2=A0said Flameproof Lad, as he walked to the others. =C2=A0"They got= <br>some jobs, just like me."<br><br> "What?=C2=A0 Why does every=
one think they need jobs outside the LNH.=C2=A0 I <br>can barely keep up wi=
th the group as it is!" =C2=A0said Ultimate Ninja. =C2=A0<br><br> &quo= t;Well, not everyone is as busy as you are." =C2=A0said Flameproof Lad= .<br><br> "What do you mean?"<br><br> "You are always out on=
some mission, you have things to keep you busy.<br>Some of us NWC-types ar= en't used in missions very often.=C2=A0 I get a little bored<br>waiting=
around, so I took a job.=C2=A0 I'm a fireman and tonight is my first n= ight."<br><br> Cannon Fodder cut back in,"That's great, I'=
;m a stunt man on the set of<br>'Deadly People IV: Back for More!' = and I start tonight!=C2=A0 What is anyone else<br>doing?"<br><br> &quo= t;Lesse... Trivia King and Trivia Master are writing questions for a<br>gam=
e show, uh,... Nit-Pick Lad was hired for some quality control work, <br>Br= owsing Boy is working at the Library, =C2=A0Incredible Un-sleeping Man and = Late-<br>Nite Lad are security guards, that is all I know."<br><br> Ul=
timate Ninja's breathing became more and more labored at each name <br>= and job.=C2=A0 He was about to say what was on his mind, but was cut off.<b= r><br> "Oh, man!=C2=A0 It's getting late." =C2=A0Said PKK. &q= uot;We'd better get going."<br><br> "Where are you going to b= e?=C2=A0 When will you be back?" =C2=A0asked UN.<br><br> "Don'= ;t worry!=C2=A0 We'll be fine...Dad" =C2=A0PKK smiled, adding the = last part<br>as he went out the door, and the group started laughing.<br><b= r>*************************************************************************= *****<br> <br> "WELCOME to =C2=A0our meeting.=C2=A0 I know you must ha=
ve many questions,<br>so let's just start with them, shall we? =C2=A0 Y= es, you in the front... Irony Man,<br>I believe?"<br><br> "Yes,&q= uot; began Irony Man," Well, we are all kind of confused.=C2=A0 I supp= ose<br>everyone here got an invitation, but we are all wondering what exact=
ly this <br>meeting is about."<br><br> "No, most of us want to kn=
ow when the *food* is served." =C2=A0came a voice<br>from the back.<br= ><br> "I don't know why you're here Sarcastic Lad, you aren= 9;t exactly<br>'Public Domain', like the rest of us."<br><br> =
"I guess some people realize brilliance, and just can't keep me aw= ay."<br><br> "Please, please." =C2=A0said the man behind the=
podium. =C2=A0"This group is for<br>any who wish to join.=C2=A0 I tho= ught for sure my assistant here (indicates the man <br>standing next to him=
) gave instructions that an invitation was to be extended <br>to every memb=
er of the LNH.=C2=A0 I guess the WC's and other NWC's just felt the= ir<br>time was too valuable to spend with the rest of us here."<br><br=
The speaker looked out over the audience. He knew he had to choose his<br=
words carefully...for now.=C2=A0 He did not want to incite this group...ye= t.<br><br> "Yeah, that seems to happen a lot." =C2=A0mumbled Entr=
opy Kid, who remained<br>quiet through the rest of the meeting.<br><br> &qu= ot;Now, why we are here.=C2=A0 Hmmm, where to begin.=C2=A0 Ah, yes.=C2=A0 Y=
ou are here<br>because I have sensed that you all need each other for suppo= rt."<br><br> "How would *you* know *that*?" asked California=
Kid.<br><br> "I am an ardent follower of the exploits of the LNH, at = least the ones<br>that make the press." =C2=A0He said with a shrug and=
small smile. =C2=A0"Lately I have <br><br>not noticed many of your na= mes in the press.=C2=A0 I ask myself 'How could that be?<br>How can all=
of the WC's have all of the exploits, and glory of the LNH, when<br>ev= eryone knows that it is often the behind the scence people who are the most= <br>important.'"<br><br> "I'VE SAID THAT OFTEN MYSELF&quo=
t; said Catalyst Lass.<br><br> "Hey, would you quit shouting!"<br= ><br> "I'M NOT SHOUTING, WHAT ARE... HEY CAPITALIZE, CAN WE HOLD T= HE =C2=A0<br>POWER IN CHECK FOR JUST ONE meeting? =C2=A0jeez!=C2=A0 Thanks.= "<br><br> "Sorry." =C2=A0Came the sheepish reply.<br><br> &q=
uot;Now, the main reason I've invited you all here is to mingle.=C2=A0 = Get to <br>know each other better, which will help each individual feel mor=
e a part of<br>the whole we hope you will become."<br><br> Sarcastic L=
ad just shook his head. "*Hello*.=C2=A0 We all live together in <br>th=
e LNHHQ.=C2=A0 Excuse me, but is anyone home?=C2=A0 We see each other every= day."<br><br> "True, but how often do you *interact* with one ano=
ther.=C2=A0 Now, please,<br>go to the back and eat as much as you like.=C2=
=A0 All I ask is that you talk to <br>someone you normally don't."= <br><br> The members of the LNH moved to the area with the food.=C2=A0 The =
man who<br>was speaking earlier, and the man he called his assistant began =
to mingle and <br>catch spippits of the conversation.<br><br> "...yeah= , I got passed up..."<br><br> "...sorry, monitor duty, man that s=
ucks!..."<br><br> "...she's lookin' good!=C2=A0 Oww! Hey,=
I was kidding!=C2=A0 Owww! Stop..."<br><br> The speaker excused himse=
lf, and went through a door behind the <br>platform he was speaking on earl= ier.=C2=A0 The assistant engaged in conversation <br>with Amorphous Lad and=
Hooded Ho`'od Win.=C2=A0 The speaker closed the door behind<br>him and=
was cut off from the sounds of the conversation.<br><br> "Well Orator=
, how does it go?" =C2=A0Came a voice from inside the dark<br>room.=C2= =A0 The speaker turned and saw the glint of shining armor and wisps of a <b= r>royal blue cape billowing out of the shadows of the room.<br><br> "I=
t proceeds as planned.=C2=A0 Recruiter is working on the two members, as<br= >you had commanded."<br><br> "Excellent.=C2=A0 The food has been =
prepared as specified?"<br><br> "The chemicals have been added.&q= uot;<br><br> "Excellent, again.=C2=A0 When you speak next, the LNH mem= bers will be <br>unable to resist!"<br><br> "The device is ready?=
"<br><br> "Yes, I am only waiting for the LNHers to consume enoug=
h of the laced<br>food to engage it.=C2=A0 The combination of the chemicals=
and the frequencies <br>produced by my device will make them do my bidding= ."<br><br> "How are you certain they will eat enough?"<br><b=
"Simple.=C2=A0 What are people when they are in an unfamiliar situa=
tion?"<br><br> "Umm,...nervous?"<br><br> "Correct.=C2=
=A0 Now what do people do when they are nervous?"<br><br> "Ahh, e= at?"<br><br> "Right, again." He said smugly.=C2=A0 He someti=
mes regretted the necessity <br>of limiting his lackeys' mental capabil= ities, but it was ego massaging like <br>this that made it worth the pain. = =C2=A0"I think you can begin again in a few <br>minutes.=C2=A0 They sh= ould be ready." =C2=A0The man in the shadows dramatically pressed<br>a=
button that made the device hum to life.<br><br> Orator returned to the gr=
oup of people who had made short work of the<br>prepared food.=C2=A0 He loo= ked at Recruiter who nodded in his direction.=C2=A0 That was<br>the signal.= =C2=A0 Soon the Public Domain NWC's from the LNH would be doing the<br>= bidding of...Tsar Chasm and the Independ Net Conquerers!<br>***************= ***************************************************************<br> FIN,=
part I<br>****************************************************************= **************<br> "Please, please take your seats, I have a few more =
thing I would like<br>to discuss before we close the meeting tonight."=
=C2=A0Orator stood behind his <br>podium, motioning for everyone to come b= ack to their seats.<br><br> "I wish I would have brought a cheesecake.=
=C2=A0 I feel rude for not <br>bringing anything with me." =C2=A0Said = CheeseCake Eater Lad as he sat back down.<br><br> "Oh, yes, a delicacy=
that we don't get enough of already," =C2=A0said <br>Sarcastic La=
d as he rolled his eyes.<br><br> Catalyst Lass cut off their conversation. =
=C2=A0"Hey, what is that humming<br>sound?=C2=A0 It sounds like a mach= ine of some sort."<br><br> Recruiter quickly answered, "Er, that&= #39;s the air conditioning.=C2=A0 We, uhm,<br>don't want to make our gu= ests here uncomfortable."<br><br> "Please take your seats, I don&= #39;t want to take up too much more of your<br>valuable time." =C2=A0O= rator gestured toward the seats again hoping to hurry <br>everyone up.=C2=
=A0 The last LNHer was finally seated (Procrastination Boy had to<br>hurry =
to the bathroom after drinking so much) and Orator began speaking again. <b= r>This time however the LNHers were 'prepared' for the real speech.= <br><br> "I want to ask you a question.=C2=A0 Why do you continue to p=
lay second<br>fiddle to the WC's?=C2=A0 What makes them so much better = than you?" =C2=A0Orator was<br>using his power of suggestion to augmen=
t the machine and the chemicals.=C2=A0 Even<br>with the boost he could sens=
e that some of the LNHers wouldn't be swayed<br>as easily as the others= .=C2=A0 He began to pace along the stage and gesture to the<br>group. =C2= =A0"The only difference is that you were created, and then forgotten <= br>about.=C2=A0 Every writer loves their WC.=C2=A0 But what about all of th=
e NWC's?=C2=A0 What <br>about all of you?"<br><br> Sarcastic Lad c=
ut in, "Well my writer.."<br><br> Orator interrupted SL. =C2=A0&q=
uot;Yes, your writer, what a fine place to start<br>and prove what I am spe= aking about.=C2=A0 Someone asked earlier why Sarcastic Lad<br>was here.=C2=
=A0 It is because he was once a WC, but his owner lost interest and <br>soo=
n changed him to an NWC." =C2=A0Orator had walked out into the crowd t= oward<br>the seat that Sarcastic Lad was in and looked as if he were going =
to continue,<br>but stopped at Procrastination Boy. =C2=A0"And poor, p= oor Procrastination Boy." <br>Orator looked down and shook his head.<b= r><br> "What do you mean 'poor, poor Procrastination Boy'?&quo= t; asked SL.<br><br> "Who remembers what happened when Occultism Kid w= as called Occultism<br>Lad?" =C2=A0Everyone's hands shot up.<br><b=
"Flames!" =C2=A0Most of the LNHers said in unison, feeling the=
combined<br>effect of the chemicals, the machine, and Orator's powers.= <br><br> "YES!=C2=A0 Flames.=C2=A0 Now what happened when Procrastinat=
ion Boy was called<br>Procrastination Lad?" =C2=A0The question was ans= wered with blank stares and the<br>LNHers looking at each other, slightly c= onfused. =C2=A0[see Ultimate Nightmare for<br>'Procrastination Lad'=
=C2=A0-K] =C2=A0"Why, no one said anything.=C2=A0 That is just what I= <br>mean.=C2=A0 If the WC's won't defend you, who will?=C2=A0 You m= ust stop trusting the<br>WC's, go off on your own and..."<br><br> =
"NOW WAITAMINNIT!!!" =C2=A0Said Cheesecake Eater Lad," You c= an't be <br>telling us to leave the Legion!=C2=A0 I thought this was su= pposed to be a support<br>meeting, not 'hey lets bash the WC's'=
. I don't know about the rest of you, but<br>I think this meeting is st= arting to stink!=C2=A0 I'm leaving, and I suggest that <br>everyone els=
e do as well." =C2=A0CCEL stormed out the door followed by Parking<br>= Karma Kid.=C2=A0 The rest kind of wavered, but eventually got up and starte=
d to <br>leave.<br><br> "NO!=C2=A0 Don't do it!=C2=A0 You'll b=
e nothing at the LNH!=C2=A0 You'll be used and<br>cast aside.=C2=A0 Rep= laced, even!=C2=A0 Don't leave!" =C2=A0Orator was shouting frantic= ally <br>at the mass departure.=C2=A0 Sarcastic Lad, Hooded Ho`'odWin, = and Amorphous Lad <br>were the last left.=C2=A0 Orator focused on them. =C2= =A0"Please, listen to me!=C2=A0 You<br>must listen!" =C2=A0The th= ree eventually went out the door, leaving Orator and <br>Recruiter alone in=
the room.<br><br> Recruiter turned to Orator and said,"Uh-oh, I don&#=
39;t think that was<br>quite how it was supposed to go.=C2=A0 I hope the bo=
ss isn't too mad."<br><br> A voice came in from behind them. =C2= =A0"Now Recruiter, what could <br>possibly make me mad?"<br><br> =
"This isn't how we planned it."<br><br> "True, but the s= eeds are planted.=C2=A0 The NWCs will at first notice <br>nothing out of th=
e ordinary.=C2=A0 But then they will begin to distance themselves<br>from t=
he WC's.=C2=A0 Friendly jibes will be taken as insults, the NWC's w= ill begin<br>to learn that I, Tsar Chasm, am their master.=C2=A0 They will = help me in the <br>conquest of the LNH, and then the entire net!"<br><=
"Oh, I don't know about that.=C2=A0 Some of them were pretty P=
O'ed at that<br>last part.=C2=A0 I don't know if they were converte= d."<br><br> "There are always a few bad apples.=C2=A0 No matter, =
the three I need will<br>be back soon enough.=C2=A0 The others will eventua= lly fall into place, and the rest<br>can be dealt with in the same way the = WC's will be.=C2=A0 This plan shall succeed<br>and soon the net shall b=
e MINE!" <br><br>(Menacing laughter fades us to...)<br><br> The forema=
n walked quickly to intercept the president of the company,<br>and his ento= urage before they made it to the assembly line. =C2=A0"Sir!=C2=A0 Your=
visit<br>has taken me by surprize.=C2=A0 We are on schedule, aren't we= ?"<br><br> "No you are not. (the foreman paled) =C2=A0As a matter=
of fact you are about<br>a week ahead of your production schedule.=C2=A0 I= 'm here to find out what caused <br>this sudden turn-around in your wor= kers."<br><br> The foreman exhaled deeply. =C2=A0"Well, sir, it m=
ust be our new quality <br>controller.=C2=A0 He has found flaws in the proc= ess that we never even noticed. <br>Injuries are down and production is up.= =C2=A0 There's only one problem."<br><br> "Problem?=C2=A0 Wha=
t could the problem be?=C2=A0 Where is he?=C2=A0 I want to meet<br>this man=
who has saved me us so much money."<br><br> "He's over there=
, but, sir..,"<br><br> The president walked past the foreman towards t=
he man indicated.=C2=A0 He<br>was talking to a few of the workers who didn&= #39;t look too happy.<br><br> "...and furthermore you guys slouch too = much.=C2=A0 Honestly I can't see<br>how you get anything done all hunch=
ed over.=C2=A0 It's bad for your back too."<br><br> The president = walked up and started to speak to the new quality <br>controller. =C2=A0&qu= ot;Pardon me son, but I came down here to congratulate you on the<br>fine j=
ob you've..."<br><br> "Who let this man down here???=C2=A0 Ho=
w can I be expected to keep a level<br>of safety around here when people ar=
e walking around unprotected like this???"<br><br> "Son, I'm = the president of this company, I make the rules.=C2=A0 Now, I <br>don't=
believe I caught you name, Mr. =C2=A0(looks at ID badge) Lad??=C2=A0 Do yo=
u have<br>a first name to go with that?"<br><br> "Yeah.=C2=A0 Jus= t call me Nit-Pick Lad."<br><br> "Fine Nit-Pick Lad, I just wante= d to come down and congratulate you<br>on the amazing turnaround you've=
done for us here."<br><br> "The president, huh?=C2=A0 So don'=
;t you think you should set a better <br>example for the workers?"<br>=
<br> "I don't follow you."<br><br> "Well, just look. (NP=
L began ticking things off on his fingers) =C2=A0Your <br>tie is on crooked=
, your suit is in desparate need of ironing, your hair looks <br>like a bir= d's nest, your left eye is squintier than your right..."<br><br> T=
he president looked at the foreman who just shrugged.<br>"...oh, my de=
ar Lord!=C2=A0 Your socks aren't even clean, and..."<br><br>******= ************************************************************************<br= ><br> Cannon Fodder had been hurrried through wardrobe and make-up and was<= br>then introduced to the director.<br><br> "Well, Crayon Folder, in t=
his scene..."<br><br> "Excuse me, that's Cannon Fodder."=
<br><br> "Yeah, whatever.=C2=A0 Like I said in this scene you start up=
on the roof<br>of that building (pointed up).=C2=A0 First you get stabbed =
in the side and stumble<br>towards the edge.=C2=A0 Then you get shot and fa=
ll over the side." =C2=A0The director<br>stood his fingers out and the=
n bent his hand at the wrist to illustrate what<br>he meant to CF. =C2=A0<b= r><br> "That sounds reason..."<br><br> "But you get caught i=
n the awning over the doorway.=C2=A0 You bounce out on<br>to the sidewalk a=
nd then you get up and stumble into the street."<br><br> "I could=
do tha..."<br><br> "As you wander around in the street a big van=
hits you and sends you<br>through that window where you are covered in a h= ighly flammable liquid.=C2=A0 Then<br>a spark will be set off that will ign= ite you.=C2=A0 How does that sound?"<br><br> "Hmmm, well with the=
special effects that should look really cool!"<br><br> "Special = effects?=C2=A0 There are no special effects."<br><br> "No special=
effects?=C2=A0 I'll be killed if I do all of that stuff!"<br><br>=
"My movies demand realism.=C2=A0 Besides I thought you were supposed =
to be <br>able to come back to life."<br><br> "That doesn't m=
ean I look forward to getting killed!"<br><br> "Ahh, we'll wo=
rk on it."<br>********************************************************= ******************<br><br> California Kid wandered into the kitchen to get =
a late-night snack<br>and found Entropy Kid, Sarcastic Lad and Trivia King = already there.<br><br> "Hey King, I thought you were in Netwood writin=
g questions for a game<br>show or something."<br><br> "No and yes=
.=C2=A0 I am writing questions but I am not in Netwood.=C2=A0 They <br>let =
me fax in the stuff that me and Trivia Master come up with."<br><br> &=
quot;Please CK, join us here in the present where we have technology,"=
said<br>Sarcastic Lad in his normal tone.<br><br> "Yea, you kill me S=
L." =C2=A0California Kid looked through the assortment of<br>pizza'=
;s they others had ordered and were munching on. =C2=A0"Do you mind if=
I have<br>a piece.=C2=A0 Thanks.=C2=A0 So what are the two of you doing up= ?" =C2=A0CK said, indicating<br>Entropy Kid and Sarcastic Lad.<br><br>=
"I dunno.=C2=A0 That meeting I guess," said Sarcastic Lad. =C2=
=A0"Those guys were<br>wacko, but I don't know."<br><br> &quo= t;Don't know what?" =C2=A0Asked Trivia King. =C2=A0"I missed = the meeting.=C2=A0 What<br>exactly happend?"<br><br> "They tried =
to get us to leave the LNH and start out on our own."<br><br> "Th=
at's crazy!"<br><br> "I know, but they did have some good poi= nts."<br><br> "Yeah," Agreed Entropy Kid around a mouthful o=
f pizza.<br><br> "I can't imagine what they could have been,"=
=C2=A0said Trivia King, who <br>finished off his =C2=A0last piece of pizza=
. =C2=A0"Well I'm bushed.=C2=A0 My brain hurts <br>from writing al=
l those questions.=C2=A0 Catch you guys late in the A.M."<br><br> &quo= t;What good points are you talking about?"<br><br> "Well some of = the other guys aren't always considered to be used.=C2=A0 And <br>I gue=
ss I never really thought about me becomming an NWC, it never really <br>bo= thered me until the meeting, I guess."<br><br> "Don't let it =
worry you.=C2=A0 I think everyone was feeling a bit funny<br>after that mee= ting."<br><br> "What do you mean?"<br><br> "I walked by=
a few of the others' rooms and they were thrashing all<br>over the pla= ce, but they were still asleep."<br><br> "Hmm, I wonder what it m= eans?" =C2=A0Said Entropy Kid, finishing off his <br>last bite if pizz= a.<br>*********************************************************************= ******<br> FIN, part II<br>**********************************************=
*****************************<br><br><br><br><br>=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D= =3D=3D<br><br>Next Week: =C2=A0Something something LNH!!<br><br>=3D=3D=3D= =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D<br><br>Arthur "Same Classic Channel.=C2=A0 But S= ame Time?=C2=A0 Probably not." Spitzer <br><br><br></div>
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