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And we're back in the past and can check the eyrie archive
once again.
Here's where you can find this and more Panta Action!:
https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/Series/Tales.LNH/
And it's Tales of LNH #295-296 by Hubert Bartels!
Part Three of the BloodKitty Saga!
Will LNH'rs Have Fun?! Not on Self-Righteous Preacher's
Watch!! Will Mainstream Man be able to snag another
Mint copy of BloodKitty #1!!? Or will it only be
*GASP!* Near Mint?!! (The Horror!!) And is it time for
Panta to be at a Crossroads and make some difficult
choices?!!!
Find out in...
_
| | Classic
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| |__ | [] | | [] | | | | [] | | _ \
|____| \__] \__ | |_| \__/ |_|\_\
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|_| OF NET.HEROES
ADVENTURES #420
=====================
The BloodKitty Saga Part Three
=====================
From:
hgb@catalina.opt-sci.Arizona.EDU (Hubert Bartels)
Newsgroups: alt.comics.lnh
Subject: Tales of the LNH: Choices
Date: 29 Oct 1993 21:24:23 GMT
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| | Tales of the
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|_| OF NET.HEROES
#295: Choices
[ In Tales of the LNH #294, Panta became an Image character, starring in
BloodKitty, a savage in-yer-face bloodsplatter comic inked by that pair
of thieves, Mr. Hyde and Mr. Steed. To promote BloodKitty #2, now 2 months
late, Image decided to send everyone to the next comics convention. It
happened that the next convention was in Net.ropolis... ]
The Self-Righteous Preacher roamed the halls of the LNH, a scowl engraved on his long sour face. Somewhere, somehow, an LNH'er was having fun. This was intolerable; it was his duty to find that LNH'er and put a stop to it.
He turned the corner and walked down the hall. He knew that that happy
LNH'er was around here, somewhere, but he had not seen another person
for several hours. Strange.
A door opened and Bad-Timing Boy stepped into the hallway. The morally
correct Self-Righteous Preacher swooped down on the hapless boy and
grabbed him by the collar of his uniform. "Where's everyone?" he snarled.
"Gone to the 32nd Annual Net.ropolis Comics Convention," said the boy
who always seemed to arriving at the wrong time.
"Well then, you'll have to do," Self-Righteous Preacher said slowly. "Come
with me and let me tell you just how damned you are unless you change your wicked erring ways..."
The Self-Righteous Preacher disappeared down the hallway, dragging poor Bad-Timing Boy behind him.
* * *
The scene - the ballroom of the Net.ropolis Ramada Inn. The time - Friday,
the second day of the 32nd Net.ropolis Comics Convention. And inside the
IMAGE booth, sitting on a stool, dressed in her BloodKitty costume, wearing
her long sword, Panta sighed.
It was the first chance she had to sit down for hours. First, most of the
Image staff had stalked off to have lunch with editors from WIZARD and PREVIEWS, then HGB had disappeared with Josh Quagmire's Cutey Bunny, then
Mr. Hyde and Mr. Steed had gone off with Bob Harras, trying to sweet-talk
their way onto Wolverine, and finally, the guy who was going to sell issues
had run off with the L.A. Rams cheerleaders. That left Panta by herself in
the booth, selling backissues, answering questions, and keeping an eye on
the artists making sketches for the fans.
At the moment, Rob Liefeld was busy pencilling in a sketch of Cable.
Or at least, a character that looked like a heavily muscled man carrying
a huge squared-off gun. Jae Lee had gone to the bathroom to wash up; his drawing board looked like a paint store had exploded nearby - ink splatters
and paint spills everywhere. Panta had made the mistake of looking over his shoulder on Thursday afternoon; it had taken most of the evening to get the bright paint out of her fur.
Panta sighed. Her ears drooped, her tail twitched slowly. All day it had
been: "No, we cancelled Shaman's Tears because it was late a day. But
we can offer Deathmate Red, if you don't mind waiting for another few
months... Dale Keown isn't on drugs or dead or anything, but lately, he's
been hooking himself to his MIDI-system for days at a time. That's why
his stuff is late...Spawn #20 will guest-star Team YoungBlood, Savage Dragon and Wolverine. Wolverine? That's because Wolverine has to guest-star in everything... No, really, it's a good comic. It's about this team of
mercenary superheroes that work for the government. It is not a copy of
someone else's plots. Really... In Supreme #10, Vanguard, Overlord and Wolverine guest-star... Freak Force is about this group of bounty hunters
that secretly work for the government. Wolverine will guest-star in #2... Please buy our back issues. We've got tons of them... Please buy issues... BloodKitty #1? Here you are... Yes, I'm that character. Please don't pet
me, sir - I am not a cat...The bleeding should stop shortly, sir..."
Panta's ears flicked up. She turned on her stool. Coming up the aisle was
a group from the LNH. Bandwagon Boy, Mainstream Man, Organic Lass, Pliable
Lad, and Curly.
Panta shook herself, smiled broadly, and jumped out of the booth into the
midst of the LNH. "Hi!" she purred. "I've missed you so much!" To Pliable
Lad's dismay, Panta grabbed Bandwagon Boy and hugged him tightly.
"H-H-Hi." Bandwagon Boy gasped in Panta's arms.
She gave his ear a lick. He squirmed under her lick; it felt like his ear
was being sanded down. "Hi Panta," said the boy who was doomed to buy issues only after everyone else was buying them.
Panta bounced off Bandwagon Boy into Curly's arms. "Miss me?" she grinned. Curly nodded slowly. As a tear ran down his cheek, his hand opened and a wrinkled copy of Ren & Stimpy fell to the floor. Panta pushed herself
a little away from Curly; she too had to wipe a tear from a furry cheek.
"I'm sorry, Curly." she said quietly, "I wish I could make it up to you."
Panta shook hands with Pliable Lad. "Hello." she said. Pliable Lad said
not a word. "So, why are you here?"
"I wanted a copy of BloodKitty #1," Mainstream Man said. "Self-Righteous Preacher ripped up my last copy."
"OK." Panta answered. She hopped over the tables back inside the Image booth and knelt down to search through the boxes of back-issues. "One moment."
She quickly checked on Rob Liefeld; he was inking the sketch now. The boy waiting for the sketch was saying something to him. Then she returned to
her search.
"BACKGROUND! YOU WANT A BACKGROUND?"
Panta stopped searching and jumped up. Rob Liefeld was screaming at the
boy, shaking a pen at him. She leaped across the booth to stand next to
the artist.
"There, there, Mr. Liefeld, he didn't mean it, really he didn't." Panta
said in a soothing voice. "The sketch is fine as it is, really. Come,
sit down and draw big-breasted women. It's alright. Really." Panta
pushed down on the artist's shoulders, forcing him down onto his chair.
Then she took the unfinished sketch and pressed into the boy's hands.
"Listen, child, take it and go. You're lucky he didn't rip it up."
When the boy escaped with his sketch, Panta returned to the front of the
booth. "Poor man. Had a traumatic experience drawing a background once and
ever since, he's been that way... Oh, BloodKitty #1? Here."
Mainstream Man slipped his copy into a mylar bag and rushed off. Panta
turned back to the others. "Anything for you?"
"We're fine," Pliable Lad said. "Are you coming back to the LNH?" he
added hopefully.
"I don't know..." Panta said. She sighed again. "I thought that being
a big name character would be more... fun, I guess. Not this...." Her
voice trailed into silence.
"Visit us if you get a free moment." Bandwagon Boy said. "You are still
welcome anytime." He turned and walked off, followed by the rest of the LNH'ers. Curly stood, staring silently at the leopard-girl until she
waved bye-bye, then ran to catch up with the others.
Panta watched them go. She wished she was going with them. It was good
to see them again. To hear their voices, to smell their scents. Panta
stopped musing suddenly - Bandwagon Boy's scent was familiar, very familiar.
A smell of steel and cherry blossoms and sharpening oil and-
"Once you would have invited me to dinner and talked with as an old
friend," said a mysterious voice behind her. Panta swiveled her ears
back. "Once you would asked me in for coffee and danish and whispered
stories of failed love affairs." Panta turned around to look at a tall trenchcoated figure. "But for now, I must remain--"
"A Stranger," Panta chimed in with him.
The Dvandom Stranger sighed. It was always like this. "You must give heed
to my words. Your future is at a crossroads. You must choose the road that
you wish to travel. You must choose wisely. Or forever regret the road not taken."
"Choices?" Panta blurted. "What choices?"
[ Next time, we will learn about the choices that Panta must make. What
road will she take? How long can we stretch the allegory? Tales of the
LNH #296! ]
[ Panta is copyright, Hubert Bartels, 1993. All other characters are
copyrighted by their creators. Buy Red Shetland! Support furry comics.]
--
Hubert Bartels INTERNET:
hgb@catalina.opt-sci.arizona.edu
Optical Sciences Center (602)-621-2032 FAX: (602)-621-4416 University of Arizona "Pandemonium doesn't reign around here... it pours." Tucson, AZ, USA 85721 Babs Bunny, Tiny Toons Adventures
From:
hgb@catalina.opt-sci.Arizona.EDU (Hubert Bartels)
Newsgroups: alt.comics.lnh
Subject: Tales of the LNH #296: The Road Less Taken
Date: 11 Nov 1993 05:19:35 GMT
_
| | Tales of the
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| |__ | [] | | [] | | | | [] | | _ \
|____| \__] \__ | |_| \__/ |_|\_\
||
|_| OF NET.HEROES
#296: The Road Less Taken (Extra long issue)
[ In Tales of the LNH #294, Panta became an Image character, starring in
BloodKitty, a savage in-yer-face bloodsplatter comic drawn and inked by
Mr. Hyde and Mr. Steed. To promote BloodKitty #2, Image sent everyone to
the next comics convention. The next convention was in Net.ropolis...
In Tales of the LNH #295, it was shown how Panta ended up alone in the
Image booth when everyone else ran off on their own little errands. The
time is the 2nd day of the convention, right after a short visit from her
old friends from the Legion of Net Heroes. Panta is alone again. ]
"Once you would have invited me to dinner and talked with as an old
friend," said a mysterious voice behind her. Panta swiveled her ears
back. "Once you would asked me in for coffee and danish and whispered
stories of failed love affairs." Panta turned around to look at a tall trenchcoated figure. "But for now, I must remain--"
"A Stranger," Panta chimed in with him.
The Dvandom Stranger sighed. It was always like this. "You must give heed
to my words. Your future is at a crossroads. You must choose the road that
you wish to travel. You must choose wisely. Or forever regret the road not taken."
"Choices?" Panta blurted. "What choices?"
The Dvandom Stranger pointed a gloved finger down one aisle way. "That way
lies fame, fortune and the end of the world."
Panta peeked around the corner of the booth. "What, at the Marvel UK booth?
I don't think so... Especially the fame and fortune part..."
"No," the man of mystery said. His voice sounded somewhat ticked off. "I was pointing metaphorically."
"Oh." Panta's tail twitched.
The Dvandom Stranger pointed his other hand in the opposite direction. "The other way offers only blood, sweat and tears, and the pain of great effort resulting in little or no reward other than doing some good."
Panta glanced in the direction of the Stranger's finger at a gaggle of small independent comic publishers at several tables. "You aren't kidding."
"I was pointing metaphorically again!" The Stranger's voice had dropped
several octaves into the dangerous zone.
"Oh." Panta's tail twitched. "So what are you pointing at? Metaphorically."
The Dvandom Stranger sighed again. Where did they find these people? Why did
he have to explain everything in concrete detail? What fun is there in
being
a mysterious cosmic figure when he'd end up out spelling it all out in
simple
terms anyway. "One way is the road of Comics Superstardom, the other is actually being a heroine. Got it?"
"Oh." Panta blinked. When she opened her eyes again, the Dvandom Stranger
had
vanished. Panta blinked again. "Damn it," she said to herself. "Which path leads to the end of the world? He didn't say..."
* * *
Saturday afternoon. Panta was busy pushing backissues of WildC.A.T.S. and making apologies for Cyberforce and Image #0. HGB had last been seen in the company of Jeff Wood's Snobunni and Josh Quagmire's Cutey Bunny. Panta had
not seen her artists, Mr. Hyde and Mr. Steed since Thursday morning. The dealer's room was still crowded. Over in the Orchard Room, DC representives were still explaining 'Crises on Infinite Earths'; they had been at it for
45 hours now. In the Lilac Room, several artists were giving a seminar on drawing; in the Rose Room, several Marvel representives were being asked to explain the dangling plotlines in the X-men series. And in the huge Pine
Room, they were getting ready for the costume contest.
Panta looked up from pawing through a box of Spawn #3's. Mr. Hyde and Mr.
Steed were pushing their way through crowds toward her. She stood up and
licked a cowlick of hair back into place. Her BloodKitty costume was still awkward from time to time, especially that long sword over her back.
"Panta, my dear!" started Mr. Steed. He walked up to the front of the booth
and waved a ream of paper in front of her. "We must talk."
"Panta, please talk to Mr. Steed." Mr. Hyde added. "We have a business
proposal that you should listen to."
"That is so, Mr. Hyde. We have been talking to several DC representatives.
They are most anxious to add another superheroine to their lineup. Wonder
Woman is-"
"Lame, Mr. Steed, quite lame. Yes, this could be quite profitable for all
of us." Mr. Hyde unfolded a contract and laid it on the Image booth's table.
Panta stepped back and narrowed her eyes. "So..." Her tail waved back and
forth slowly. "What do I have to do?"
"Not much," Mr Hyde started. He fished around in his pockets and dropped a small jar on the table. "Sign this contract, use this cream on your breasts everyday, and lose that facial hair. Not much, right, Mr. Steed?"
"And what is this cream?" Panta growled, reaching for the jar.
"Jim Lee's patented Massive Mammaries Maximizing Method cream. It'll put DDD breasts on anyone, even Jubilee!"
Panta's voice took on a rumbling tone. "I see..." Her tail stopped waving.
"You must really get with it," Mr Steed warned, waving the pen in front of Panta's face. "You must have exaggerated sexual features to really become a famous superheroine." He held the pen under Panta's nose. "Please sign and
make us wealthy."
Panta quivered, letting her anger build into a towering fury that would completely sweep away her inhibitions. Her wrath sparked, she exploded into
her Berserker Rage (tm).
Mr. Steed and Mr. Hyde didn't notice that something had gone very wrong
until they heard the slish of Panta drawing a 5 foot steel sword from its scabbard.
"There's no need to get violent. We can increase your cut from 5% to 7%,
right, Mr. Hyde?"
The two ducked as the sword cut the air above their heads. The crowd in the dealers' room split into two parts; those who ran from the room, screaming
and those that ran up to the Image booth to witness the bloodshed.
"What are you doing, Panta? You're going to make Mr Steed unhappy." Mr Hyde dived into the crowd to avoid a stroke that would have cleaved him in half. Panta whirled, looking for the hapless Mr Steed who was crawling under a
Malibu display.
"Haiiii Ya!" Scraps of table and comics fluttered to the ground. The crowd parted as Mr Steed and Mr Hyde ran down the aisle towards the exit. Panta followed, her sword lifted over her head, screaming. The crowd tagged
behind, cheering her on.
In the hallway, Mr Steed and Mr Hyde turned and ran into the Pine Room.
Panta chased after them, following them across the crowded room toward
the stage at the end of the room.
On the stage, two figures strutted, carrying huge oversized guns. They
were identical, small heads, huge shoulders and a tattoo of a starburst
over one eye.
"Thank you," the announcer said. "That was Cable and Stryfe, and can you
tell who's who? Marvel can't." He laughed. "Our next costume is- Wait a
sec, guys... Who are you?..." The announcer watched as Mr Steed and Mr
Hyde grabbed the guns from the costumed figures and aimed them at the
rapidly approaching Panta.
"Yes, it is!" the announcer said into the microphone. "Our next contestant
is Image's own BloodKitty! Let's give her a welcoming hand!"
"Hey man, don't fire that thing, " one of the Cable/Stryfe contestants said
to Mr Steed. "It's a real working model."
"Get lost, bub," Mr Steed snarled as he tried to figure how to aim the huge bulky contraption. It seemed to lack both sights and trigger guard.
Panta jumped onto the stage to the cheers of the audience. The announcer
waved
for more applause.
Mr Hyde dialed the power up to full and fired at the leopard girl in front
of him. Panta was bathed in the full glow of the plasma discharge for a
second
before she swung her sword. Mr Hyde's head and shoulder, cut from his body
in one slice, slid to the stage. Panta turned in one smooth motion and
raised
her sword to the side. Behind her, Mr Hyde's torso crashed to the floor. The audience breathed "uuuuuhhh" in appreciation. Panta leaped into the air.
Mr Steed tried to swing the huge gun into place. He squeezed the trigger but Panta was already falling on him from above, her sword coming down in one smooth motion to cleave Mr Steed into two. The huge chrome gun clattered to
the floor. Panta slowly rose to her feet, her bloody sword pointing to the stage floor, a blank, exhausted look on her feline face.
"That was wonderful," the announcer said excitedly, coming up to shake
Panta's
paw. "The best skit we've ever seen. Such realism, such action! Our judges
have decided that you are our champion costume this year."
"Thank you," Panta nodded tiredly. Blood ran along the edge of the sword to drip on the floor.
"So, what are you going to do now? Go to Disneyland?" the announcer asked.
"No, I'm going home. Home to the Legion of Net.Heroes. Where I belong."
"OK," the announcer said. "And here is your prize. A year's subscription to Image's BloodKitty!" He handed Panta the certificate. "Oh, by the way, how
did you survive that gun of Cable's?"
Panta walked to the back of the stage, wiped the blood off the sword on the curtain and turned to the announcer. "Did you ever see any of Cable's guns
ever hurt anyone? Ever? Let alone fry something to a carbonized crisp? Think about it." Then she left the convention.
[ Panta is returning to the LNH! Can she leave her reputation behind? What
of
Image - will they still sell BloodKitty? And what of Bandwagon Boy? He
hasn't
been seen in months but he showed up at the convention! What is really happening? Find out next time in Tale of the Legion of Net.Heroes!]
[ Panta is copyright, Hubert Bartels, 1993. All other characters are
copyrighted by their creators. Buy Red Shetland! Support furry comics.]
--
Hubert Bartels INTERNET:
hgb@catalina.opt-sci.arizona.edu
Optical Sciences Center (602)-621-2032 FAX: (602)-621-4416 University of Arizona "Pandemonium doesn't reign around here... it pours." Tucson, AZ, USA 85721 Babs Bunny, Tiny Toons Adventures
==========
Next Week: Let's take a Fourth of July Break -- see you in two!!
==========
Arthur "Same Classic Channel. But Same Time? Probably not." Spitzer
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<div dir=3D"ltr">And we're back in the past and can check the eyrie arc= hive <br>once again.<br><br><br>Here's where you can find this and more=
Panta Action!:<br><br><a href=3D"
https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/Serie= s/Tales.LNH/">
https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/Series/Tales.LNH/</a><br>= <br><br>And it's Tales of LNH #295-296 by Hubert Bartels!<br>Part Three=
of the BloodKitty Saga!<br><br><br>Will LNH'rs Have Fun?!=C2=A0 Not on=
Self-Righteous Preacher's<br>Watch!!=C2=A0 Will Mainstream Man be able=
to snag another<br>Mint copy of BloodKitty #1!!?=C2=A0 Or will it only be<= br>*GASP!* =C2=A0Near Mint?!! =C2=A0(The Horror!!) And is it time for <br>P= anta to be at a Crossroads and make some difficult <br>choices?!!!<br><br><= br><br>Find out in...<br><br><br><br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2= =A0 =C2=A0 _ <br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0| | =
=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0Classic <br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0=
=C2=A0| | =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 = =C2=A0 =C2=A0=3D<br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0| | =C2= =A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0____ =C2=A0 =C2=A0____ =C2=A0 =C2=A0_ =C2=A0 =C2=A0____ = =C2=A0 =C2=A0___<br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0| |__ = =C2=A0 | [] | =C2=A0| [] | =C2=A0| | =C2=A0| [] | =C2=A0| _ \ =C2=A0<br><br= >=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0|____| =C2=A0 \__] =C2=A0 = =C2=A0\__ | =C2=A0|_| =C2=A0 \__/ =C2=A0 |_|\_\<br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2= =A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 = =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0||<br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 = =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 |_| =C2=A0OF=
NET.HEROES<br><br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 = =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 ADVEN= TURES #420<br><br><br><br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 = =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D= =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D<br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0=
=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0The BloodKitty Saga Part Three<br>=C2=A0=
=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D<b= r><br><br><br><br><br>From: <a href=3D"mailto:
hgb@catalina.opt-sci.Arizona.= EDU">
hgb@catalina.opt-sci.Arizona.EDU</a> (Hubert Bartels)<br>Newsgroups: a= lt.comics.lnh<br>Subject: Tales of the LNH: Choices<br>Date: 29 Oct 1993 21= :24:23 GMT<br><br><br> =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0_<br> =C2=A0 =C2=A0 | | =C2=A0=
=C2=A0 =C2=A0Tales of the<br> =C2=A0 =C2=A0 | | =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2= =A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0=3D<br> =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =
| | =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0____ =C2=A0 =C2=A0____ =C2=A0 =C2=A0_ =C2=A0 =C2=A0= ____ =C2=A0 =C2=A0___<br> =C2=A0 =C2=A0 | |__ =C2=A0 | [] | =C2=A0| [] | =
=C2=A0| | =C2=A0| [] | =C2=A0| _ \<br><br> =C2=A0 =C2=A0 |____| =C2=A0 \__=
] =C2=A0 =C2=A0\__ | =C2=A0|_| =C2=A0 \__/ =C2=A0 |_|\_\<br> ||<br> =
|_| =C2=A0OF NET.HEROES<br><br> =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 #295: Choices<br><br=
[ In Tales of the LNH #294, Panta became an Image character, starring in<b= r>=C2=A0 BloodKitty, a savage in-yer-face bloodsplatter comic inked by that=
pair<br>=C2=A0 of thieves, Mr. Hyde and Mr. Steed. To promote BloodKitty #=
2, now 2 months<br>=C2=A0 late, Image decided to send everyone to the next = comics convention. It<br>=C2=A0 happened that the next convention was in Ne= t.ropolis... ]<br><br>The Self-Righteous Preacher roamed the halls of the L= NH, a scowl engraved on<br>his long sour face. Somewhere, somehow, an LNH&#= 39;er was having fun. This was<br>intolerable; it was his duty to find that=
LNH'er and put a stop to it.<br><br>He turned the corner and walked do=
wn the hall. He knew that that happy<br>LNH'er was around here, somewhe= re, but he had not seen another person<br>for several hours. Strange.<br><b= r>A door opened and Bad-Timing Boy stepped into the hallway. The morally<br= >correct Self-Righteous Preacher swooped down on the hapless boy and<br>gra= bbed him by the collar of his uniform. "Where's everyone?" he=
snarled.<br><br>"Gone to the 32nd Annual Net.ropolis Comics Conventio= n," said the boy<br>who always seemed to arriving at the wrong time.<b= r><br>"Well then, you'll have to do," Self-Righteous Preacher=
said slowly. "Come<br>with me and let me tell you just how damned you=
are unless you change your<br>wicked erring ways..."<br><br>The Self-= Righteous Preacher disappeared down the hallway, dragging poor<br>Bad-Timin=
g Boy behind him.<br> =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0* =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 = =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0* =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0*<br><br>The scene - the ballroom of the Net= .ropolis Ramada Inn. The time - Friday,<br>the second day of the 32nd Net.r= opolis Comics Convention. And inside the<br>IMAGE booth, sitting on a stool=
, dressed in her BloodKitty costume, wearing<br>her long sword, Panta sighe= d.<br><br>It was the first chance she had to sit down for hours. First, mos=
t of the<br>Image staff had stalked off to have lunch with editors from WIZ= ARD and<br>PREVIEWS, then HGB had disappeared with Josh Quagmire's Cute=
y Bunny, then<br>Mr. Hyde and Mr. Steed had gone off with Bob Harras, tryin=
g to sweet-talk<br>their way onto Wolverine, and finally, the guy who was g= oing to sell issues<br>had run off with the L.A. Rams cheerleaders. That le=
ft Panta by herself in<br>the booth, selling backissues, answering question=
s, and keeping an eye on<br>the artists making sketches for the fans.<br><b= r>At the moment, Rob Liefeld was busy pencilling in a sketch of Cable.<br>O=
r at least, a character that looked like a heavily muscled man carrying<br>=
a huge squared-off gun. Jae Lee had gone to the bathroom to wash up; his<br= >drawing board looked like a paint store had exploded nearby - ink splatter= s<br>and paint spills everywhere. Panta had made the mistake of looking ove=
r his<br>shoulder on Thursday afternoon; it had taken most of the evening t=
o get the<br>bright paint out of her fur.<br><br>Panta sighed. Her ears dro= oped, her tail twitched slowly. All day it had<br>been: "No, we cancel= led Shaman's Tears because it was late a day. But<br>we can offer Death= mate Red, if you don't mind waiting for another few<br>months... Dale K= eown isn't on drugs or dead or anything, but lately, he's<br>been h= ooking himself to his MIDI-system for days at a time. That's why<br>his=
stuff is late...Spawn #20 will guest-star Team YoungBlood, Savage Dragon<b= r>and Wolverine. Wolverine? That's because Wolverine has to guest-star = in<br>everything... No, really, it's a good comic. It's about this = team of<br>mercenary superheroes that work for the government. It is not a = copy of<br>someone else's plots. Really... In Supreme #10, Vanguard, Ov= erlord and<br>Wolverine guest-star... Freak Force is about this group of bo= unty hunters<br>that secretly work for the government. Wolverine will guest= -star in #2...<br>Please buy our back issues. We've got tons of them...=
Please buy issues...<br>BloodKitty #1? Here you are... Yes, I'm that c= haracter. Please don't pet<br>me, sir - I am not a cat...The bleeding s= hould stop shortly, sir..."<br><br>Panta's ears flicked up. She tu= rned on her stool. Coming up the aisle was<br>a group from the LNH. Bandwag=
on Boy, Mainstream Man, Organic Lass, Pliable<br>Lad, and Curly.<br><br>Pan=
ta shook herself, smiled broadly, and jumped out of the booth into the<br>m= idst of the LNH. "Hi!" she purred. "I've missed you so m= uch!" To Pliable<br>Lad's dismay, Panta grabbed Bandwagon Boy and = hugged him tightly.<br><br>"H-H-Hi." Bandwagon Boy gasped in Pant= a's arms.<br><br>She gave his ear a lick. He squirmed under her lick; i=
t felt like his ear<br>was being sanded down. "Hi Panta," said th=
e boy who was doomed to buy issues<br>only after everyone else was buying t= hem.<br><br>Panta bounced off Bandwagon Boy into Curly's arms. "Mi=
ss me?" she grinned.<br>Curly nodded slowly. As a tear ran down his ch= eek, his hand opened and a<br>wrinkled copy of Ren & Stimpy fell to the=
floor. Panta pushed herself<br>a little away from Curly; she too had to wi=
pe a tear from a furry cheek.<br>"I'm sorry, Curly." she said=
quietly, "I wish I could make it up to you."<br><br>Panta shook = hands with Pliable Lad. "Hello." she said. Pliable Lad said<br>no=
t a word. "So, why are you here?"<br><br>"I wanted a copy of=
BloodKitty #1," Mainstream Man said. "Self-Righteous<br>Preacher=
ripped up my last copy."<br><br>"OK." Panta answered. She h= opped over the tables back inside the Image booth<br>and knelt down to sear=
ch through the boxes of back-issues. "One moment."<br>She quickly=
checked on Rob Liefeld; he was inking the sketch now. The boy<br>waiting f=
or the sketch was saying something to him. Then she returned to<br>her sear= ch.<br><br>"BACKGROUND! YOU WANT A BACKGROUND?"<br><br>Panta stop= ped searching and jumped up. Rob Liefeld was screaming at the<br>boy, shaki=
ng a pen at him. She leaped across the booth to stand next to<br>the artist= .<br><br>"There, there, Mr. Liefeld, he didn't mean it, really he = didn't." Panta<br>said in a soothing voice. "The sketch is fi=
ne as it is, really. Come,<br>sit down and draw big-breasted women. It'=
s alright. Really." Panta<br>pushed down on the artist's shoulders=
, forcing him down onto his chair.<br>Then she took the unfinished sketch a=
nd pressed into the boy's hands.<br>"Listen, child, take it and go=
. You're lucky he didn't rip it up."<br><br>When the boy escap=
ed with his sketch, Panta returned to the front of the<br>booth. "Poor=
man. Had a traumatic experience drawing a background once and<br>ever sinc=
e, he's been that way... Oh, BloodKitty #1? Here."<br><br>Mainstre=
am Man slipped his copy into a mylar bag and rushed off. Panta<br>turned ba=
ck to the others. "Anything for you?"<br><br>"We're fine= ," Pliable Lad said. "Are you coming back to the LNH?" he<br= >added hopefully.<br><br>"I don't know..." Panta said. She si= ghed again. "I thought that being<br>a big name character would be mor= e... fun, I guess. Not this...." Her<br>voice trailed into silence.<br= ><br>"Visit us if you get a free moment." Bandwagon Boy said. &qu= ot;You are still<br>welcome anytime." He turned and walked off, follow=
ed by the rest of the<br>LNH'ers. Curly stood, staring silently at the = leopard-girl until she<br>waved bye-bye, then ran to catch up with the othe= rs.<br><br>Panta watched them go. She wished she was going with them. It wa=
s good<br>to see them again. To hear their voices, to smell their scents. P= anta<br>stopped musing suddenly - Bandwagon Boy's scent was familiar, v= ery familiar.<br>A smell of steel and cherry blossoms and sharpening oil an= d-<br><br>"Once you would have invited me to dinner and talked with as=
an old<br>friend," said a mysterious voice behind her. Panta swiveled=
her ears<br>back. "Once you would asked me in for coffee and danish a=
nd whispered<br>stories of failed love affairs." Panta turned around t=
o look at a tall<br>trenchcoated figure. "But for now, I must remain--= "<br><br>"A Stranger," Panta chimed in with him.<br><br>The = Dvandom Stranger sighed. It was always like this. "You must give heed<= br>to my words. Your future is at a crossroads. You must choose the road th= at<br>you wish to travel. You must choose wisely. Or forever regret the roa=
d not<br>taken."<br><br>"Choices?" Panta blurted. "What=
choices?"<br><br>[ Next time, we will learn about the choices that Pa= nta must make. What<br>=C2=A0 road will she take? How long can we stretch t=
he allegory? Tales of the<br>=C2=A0 LNH #296! ]<br><br>[ Panta is copyright=
, Hubert Bartels, 1993. All other characters are<br>=C2=A0 copyrighted by t= heir creators. Buy Red Shetland! Support furry comics.]<br>--<br>Hubert Bar= tels =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0INTERNET: <a href=3D"mailto:hgb@cata= lina.opt-sci.arizona.edu">
hgb@catalina.opt-sci.arizona.edu</a><br>Optical S= ciences Center (602)-621-2032 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0FAX:=
(602)-621-4416<br>University of Arizona =C2=A0 "Pandemonium doesn'=
;t reign around here... it pours."<br>Tucson, AZ, USA 85721 =C2=A0 =C2= =A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 Babs Bunny, Tiny Toons Adventures<br><br><br>From:=
<a href=3D"mailto:
hgb@catalina.opt-sci.Arizona.EDU">
hgb@catalina.opt-sci.A= rizona.EDU</a> (Hubert Bartels)<br>Newsgroups: alt.comics.lnh<br>Subject: T= ales of the LNH #296: The Road Less Taken<br>Date: 11 Nov 1993 05:19:35 GMT= <br><br><br> =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0_<br> =C2=A0 =C2=A0 | | =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =
=C2=A0Tales of the<br> =C2=A0 =C2=A0 | | =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0=3D<br> =C2=A0 =C2=A0 | | =C2= =A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0____ =C2=A0 =C2=A0____ =C2=A0 =C2=A0_ =C2=A0 =C2=A0____ = =C2=A0 =C2=A0___<br> =C2=A0 =C2=A0 | |__ =C2=A0 | [] | =C2=A0| [] | =C2=A0= | | =C2=A0| [] | =C2=A0| _ \<br><br> =C2=A0 =C2=A0 |____| =C2=A0 \__] =C2= =A0 =C2=A0\__ | =C2=A0|_| =C2=A0 \__/ =C2=A0 |_|\_\<br> ||<br> |_| =
=C2=A0OF NET.HEROES<br><br> =C2=A0 #296: The Road Less Taken =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0(Extra long issue)<br><br>[ In Tales of the LNH #294, Panta became an Im= age character, starring in<br>=C2=A0 BloodKitty, a savage in-yer-face blood= splatter comic drawn and inked by<br>=C2=A0 Mr. Hyde and Mr. Steed. To prom= ote BloodKitty #2, Image sent everyone to<br>=C2=A0 the next comics convent= ion. The next convention was in Net.ropolis...<br><br>=C2=A0 In Tales of th=
e LNH #295, it was shown how Panta ended up alone in the<br>=C2=A0 Image bo= oth when everyone else ran off on their own little errands. The<br>=C2=A0 t= ime is the 2nd day of the convention, right after a short visit from her<br= >=C2=A0 old friends from the Legion of Net Heroes. Panta is alone again. ]<= br><br>"Once you would have invited me to dinner and talked with as an=
old<br>friend," said a mysterious voice behind her. Panta swiveled he=
r ears<br>back. "Once you would asked me in for coffee and danish and = whispered<br>stories of failed love affairs." Panta turned around to l= ook at a tall<br>trenchcoated figure. "But for now, I must remain--&qu= ot;<br><br>"A Stranger," Panta chimed in with him.<br><br>The Dva= ndom Stranger sighed. It was always like this. "You must give heed<br>=
to my words. Your future is at a crossroads. You must choose the road that<= br>you wish to travel. You must choose wisely. Or forever regret the road n= ot<br>taken."<br><br>"Choices?" Panta blurted. "What ch= oices?"<br><br>The Dvandom Stranger pointed a gloved finger down one a= isle way. "That way<br>lies fame, fortune and the end of the world.&qu= ot;<br><br>Panta peeked around the corner of the booth. "What, at the = Marvel UK booth?<br>I don't think so... Especially the fame and fortune=
part..."<br><br>"No," the man of mystery said. His voice so= unded somewhat ticked off. "I was<br>pointing metaphorically."<br= ><br>"Oh." Panta's tail twitched.<br><br>The Dvandom Stranger=
pointed his other hand in the opposite direction. "The<br>other way o= ffers only blood, sweat and tears, and the pain of great effort<br>resultin=
g in little or no reward other than doing some good."<br><br>Panta gla= nced in the direction of the Stranger's finger at a gaggle of small<br>= independent comic publishers at several tables. "You aren't kiddin= g."<br><br>"I was pointing metaphorically again!" The Strang= er's voice had dropped<br>several octaves into the dangerous zone.<br><= br>"Oh." Panta's tail twitched. "So what are you pointin=
g at? Metaphorically."<br><br>The Dvandom Stranger sighed again. Where=
did they find these people? Why did<br>he have to explain everything in co= ncrete detail?=C2=A0 What fun is there in being<br>a mysterious cosmic figu=
re when he'd end up out spelling it all out in simple<br>terms anyway. = "One way is the road of Comics Superstardom, the other is<br>actually = being a heroine. Got it?"<br><br>"Oh." Panta blinked. When s=
he opened her eyes again, the Dvandom Stranger had<br>vanished. Panta blink=
ed again. "Damn it," she said to herself. "Which path<br>lea=
ds to the end of the world? He didn't say..."<br><br> =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 * =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 * =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 *<br><br>Saturd=
ay afternoon. Panta was busy pushing backissues of WildC.A.T.S. and<br>maki=
ng apologies for Cyberforce and Image #0. HGB had last been seen in the<br>= company of Jeff Wood's Snobunni and Josh Quagmire's Cutey Bunny. Pa= nta had<br>not seen her artists, Mr. Hyde and Mr. Steed since Thursday morn= ing. The<br>dealer's room was still crowded. Over in the Orchard Room, =
DC representives<br>were still explaining 'Crises on Infinite Earths= 9;; they had been at it for<br>45 hours now. In the Lilac Room, several art= ists were giving a seminar on<br>drawing; in the Rose Room, several Marvel = representives were being asked to<br>explain the dangling plotlines in the = X-men series. And in the huge Pine<br>Room, they were getting ready for the=
costume contest.<br><br>Panta looked up from pawing through a box of Spawn=
#3's. Mr. Hyde and Mr.<br>Steed were pushing their way through crowds = toward her. She stood up and<br>licked a cowlick of hair back into place. H=
er BloodKitty costume was still<br>awkward from time to time, especially th=
at long sword over her back.<br><br>"Panta, my dear!" started Mr.=
Steed. He walked up to the front of the booth<br>and waved a ream of paper=
in front of her. "We must talk."<br><br>"Panta, please talk=
to Mr. Steed." Mr. Hyde added. "We have a business<br>proposal t= hat you should listen to."<br><br>"That is so, Mr. Hyde. We have = been talking to several DC representatives.<br>They are most anxious to add=
another superheroine to their lineup. Wonder<br>Woman is-"<br><br>&qu= ot;Lame, Mr. Steed, quite lame. Yes, this could be quite profitable for all= <br>of us." Mr. Hyde unfolded a contract and laid it on the Image boot= h's table.<br><br>Panta stepped back and narrowed her eyes. "So...= " Her tail waved back and<br>forth slowly. "What do I have to do?= "<br><br>"Not much," Mr Hyde started. He fished around in hi=
s pockets and dropped a<br>small jar on the table. "Sign this contract=
, use this cream on your breasts<br>everyday, and lose that facial hair. No=
t much, right, Mr. Steed?"<br><br>"And what is this cream?" = Panta growled, reaching for the jar.<br><br>"Jim Lee's patented Ma= ssive Mammaries Maximizing Method cream. It'll put DDD<br>breasts on an= yone, even Jubilee!"<br><br>Panta's voice took on a rumbling tone.=
"I see..." Her tail stopped waving.<br><br>"You must really=
get with it," Mr Steed warned, waving the pen in front of<br>Panta= 9;s face. "You must have exaggerated sexual features to really become = a<br>famous superheroine." He held the pen under Panta's nose. &qu= ot;Please sign and<br>make us wealthy."<br><br>Panta quivered, letting=
her anger build into a towering fury that would<br>completely sweep away h=
er inhibitions. Her wrath sparked, she exploded into<br>her Berserker Rage = (tm).<br><br>Mr. Steed and Mr. Hyde didn't notice that something had go=
ne very wrong<br>until they heard the slish of Panta drawing a 5 foot steel=
sword from its<br>scabbard.<br><br>"There's no need to get violen=
t. We can increase your cut from 5% to 7%,<br>right, Mr. Hyde?"<br><br= >The two ducked as the sword cut the air above their heads. The crowd in th= e<br>dealers' room split into two parts; those who ran from the room, s= creaming<br>and those that ran up to the Image booth to witness the bloodsh= ed.<br><br>"What are you doing, Panta? You're going to make Mr Ste=
ed unhappy." Mr Hyde<br>dived into the crowd to avoid a stroke that wo= uld have cleaved him in half.<br>Panta whirled, looking for the hapless Mr = Steed who was crawling under a<br>Malibu display.<br><br>"Haiiii Ya!&q= uot; Scraps of table and comics fluttered to the ground. The crowd<br>parte=
d as Mr Steed and Mr Hyde ran down the aisle towards the exit. Panta<br>fol= lowed, her sword lifted over her head, screaming. The crowd tagged<br>behin=
d, cheering her on.<br><br>In the hallway, Mr Steed and Mr Hyde turned and = ran into the Pine Room.<br>Panta chased after them, following them across t=
he crowded room toward<br>the stage at the end of the room.<br><br>On the s= tage, two figures strutted, carrying huge oversized guns. They<br>were iden= tical, small heads, huge shoulders and a tattoo of a starburst<br>over one = eye.<br><br>"Thank you," the announcer said. "That was Cable=
and Stryfe, and can you<br>tell who's who? Marvel can't." He = laughed. "Our next costume is- Wait a<br>sec, guys... Who are you?...&= quot; The announcer watched as Mr Steed and Mr<br>Hyde grabbed the guns fro=
m the costumed figures and aimed them at the<br>rapidly approaching Panta.<= br><br>"Yes, it is!" the announcer said into the microphone. &quo= t;Our next contestant<br>is Image's own BloodKitty! Let's give her =
a welcoming hand!"<br><br>"Hey man, don't fire that thing, &q= uot; one of the Cable/Stryfe contestants said<br>to Mr Steed. "It'=
s a real working model."<br><br>"Get lost, bub," Mr Steed sn= arled as he tried to figure how to aim the huge<br>bulky contraption. It se= emed to lack both sights and trigger guard.<br><br>Panta jumped onto the st= age to the cheers of the audience. The announcer waved<br>for more applause= .<br><br>Mr Hyde dialed the power up to full and fired at the leopard girl =
in front<br>of him. Panta was bathed in the full glow of the plasma dischar=
ge for a second<br>before she swung her sword. Mr Hyde's head and shoul= der, cut from his body<br>in one slice, slid to the stage. Panta turned in = one smooth motion and raised<br>her sword to the side. Behind her, Mr Hyde&= #39;s torso crashed to the floor. The<br>audience breathed "uuuuuhhh&q= uot; in appreciation. Panta leaped into the air.<br><br>Mr Steed tried to s= wing the huge gun into place. He squeezed the trigger but<br>Panta was alre= ady falling on him from above, her sword coming down in one<br>smooth motio=
n to cleave Mr Steed into two. The huge chrome gun clattered to<br>the floo=
r. Panta slowly rose to her feet, her bloody sword pointing to the<br>stage=
floor, a blank, exhausted look on her feline face.<br><br>"That was w= onderful," the announcer said excitedly, coming up to shake Panta'= s<br>paw. "The best skit we've ever seen. Such realism, such actio=
n! Our judges<br>have decided that you are our champion costume this year.&= quot;<br><br>"Thank you," Panta nodded tiredly. Blood ran along t=
he edge of the sword to<br>drip on the floor.<br><br>"So, what are you=
going to do now? Go to Disneyland?" the announcer asked.<br><br>"= ;No, I'm going home. Home to the Legion of Net.Heroes. Where I belong.&= quot;<br><br>"OK," the announcer said. "And here is your pri= ze. A year's subscription to<br>Image's BloodKitty!" He handed=
Panta the certificate. "Oh, by the way, how<br>did you survive that g=
un of Cable's?"<br><br>Panta walked to the back of the stage, wipe=
d the blood off the sword on the<br>curtain and turned to the announcer. &q= uot;Did you ever see any of Cable's guns<br>ever hurt anyone? Ever? Let=
alone fry something to a carbonized crisp? Think<br>about it." Then s=
he left the convention.<br><br>[ Panta is returning to the LNH! Can she lea=
ve her reputation behind? What of<br>Image - will they still sell BloodKitt=
y? And what of Bandwagon Boy? He hasn't<br>been seen in months but he s= howed up at the convention! What is really<br>happening? Find out next time=
in Tale of the Legion of Net.Heroes!]<br><br>[ Panta is copyright, Hubert = Bartels, 1993. All other characters are<br>=C2=A0 copyrighted by their crea= tors. Buy Red Shetland! Support furry comics.]<br>--<br>Hubert Bartels =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0INTERNET: <a href=3D"mailto:
hgb@catalina.opt= -sci.arizona.edu">
hgb@catalina.opt-sci.arizona.edu</a><br>Optical Sciences = Center (602)-621-2032 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0FAX: (602)-6= 21-4416<br>University of Arizona =C2=A0 "Pandemonium doesn't reign=
around here... it pours."<br>Tucson, AZ, USA 85721 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 Babs Bunny, Tiny Toons Adventures<br><br><br><br>=3D=3D= =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D<br><br>Next Week: =C2=A0Let's take a Fourth of=
July Break -- see you in two!!<br><br>=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D<br><b= r>Arthur "Same Classic Channel.=C2=A0 But Same Time?=C2=A0 Probably no= t." Spitzer <br><br><br></div>
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