Forum: Too Lazy BBS

LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #416: The UN: Early Summer Special and Domestic Lad One

From Arthur Spitzer@arspitzer2@gmail.com to rec.arts.comics.creative on Sun May 31 20:42:49 2026

From Newsgroup: rec.arts.comics.creative

--000000000000ce85fb0653231e6f
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="UTF-8"

And we're back in the past and can check the eyrie archive
once again.

Here's where you can find this and more Ultimate Ninja
Action!:

https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/Series/Ultimate.Ninja/

And it's The UN: Early Summer Special and Domestic Lad One
Shots with Ken Schmidt!

Is it time for McLaughlin Man to kick ass and chew bubble
gum?! But what if he's all out of bubble gum?!!

And is the LNH ready for -- DOMESTIC LAD?!! (And do
you suppose he has an arch-enemy called --
IMPORTED LAD?!!!!)

Find out in...

_
| | Classic
| | =
| | ____ ____ _ ____ ___
| |__ | [] | | [] | | | | [] | | _ \

|____| \__] \__ | |_| \__/ |_|\_\
||
|_| OF NET.HEROES

ADVENTURES #416

=====================
The UN: Early Summer Special and Domestic Lad One Shots
=====================

From: "Kenneth A. Schmidt" <kenaschm@cs.indiana.edu>
Subject: The story I promised!!

Here it is!!! Make sure you get both covers!!
Version A polybagged with a small, plastic ginsu blade.
Version B with a small, plastic shuriken. The name is:

THE ULTIMATE NINJA EARLY SUMMER SPECIAL : THE ULTIMATE NIGHTMARE

____________________________________________________________________________ Ultimate Ninja couldn't believe it. He had just gone out to eat.
Cheesecake Eater-Lad had taken over the kitchen, so UN decided to go out.
He was at Squiddie's Sushi, and who should be in front of him in line, but McLaughlin Man. What surprized UN even more was that before he could react, McLM had grabbed him and tossed him out the front window.

The shattering glass had caught his mask, and tore it! BandWagon Boy's
face was exposed! As UN hit the pavement, his head slammed hard on the pavement. He fought with unconsciousness, as McLM stood over him.

"SO, the powerful Ultimate Ninja is really BandWagon Boy. Ah, do you
know what I do next?"

"Kill me, and give me an honorable death, befitting a ..."

"WRONG!! I take you to LNHHQ and humiliate you in front of all your
friends!" McLM concluded with an evil laugh, as UN faded to black.

*****************************************************************************

Ultimate Ninja regained consciousness, but found his arms and legs
securely bound. He looked, but couldn't see any shackles!

"They are made of a crystal clear mylar. A little gift I took from
Poly Bag, and this gag completes the set."

UN could feel that his mask was partially reattached over his gag, and
covering his face. He felt weak, McLauglin Man must have drugged him, the whole scene felt surreal, kind of like Bill Sienkewicz's run on New
Mutants.
McLM marched UN into the lobby of the LNHHQ, but it was deserted. They
moved
into the cafeteria, and were passed by CheeseCake-Eater Lad and Typo Lad.

"C'mon, it was not THAT bad!" CCEL said to the doubled-up Typo Lad,
who had his hand covering his mouth as he ran down the hall.

McLM interrupted them. "Look you fools! Look upon the true face of
your leader." He pulled away UN mask.

CCEL and Typo Lad stopped and looked, and shrugged. "So? Tell us
something we didn't already know."

Typo Lad doubled over again, "Eye theenk eye yam..." He couldn't
finish his sentance, and ran down the hall, followed by a pleading CCEL.

"But... hey..."

"ARGH!" McLM turned to UN,"Don't think this lets you off the hook!
I will find someone else!"

They walked into the reading area where Bibliography Boy, California
Kid, and Browsing Boy were.

"Hey, you over there!" McLM yelled.

"HEY, I just picked it up! I wasn't gonna read it all! I'm tired
of being told this ain't no..." Browsing Boy started, but was cut off by California Kid.

"Mellow out, man. This is the HQ, not a comic store."

Bibliography Boy looked closer at the two who just entered the room.
"That's McLauglin Man! And he has got Ultimate Ninja, let's get him!"

"Not so fast! Allow me to show you..."

"FIRE IN THE HOLE, EVERYONE GET OUT!!!" Bad-Timing Boy had stuck his
head in from the lobby. The three LNHers broke out like the wind.

Bad Timing Boy kept on walking in. "Where did they get off to in such
a hurry?"

"You came in and screamed 'fire in the hole' what did you think they
would do?" A very unhappy McLM said.

"Oops. I meant 'Here is Bowe, in championship bout'. Heh-heh, guess
we'll have to chalk that one up to bad-timing, eh?" Bad-Timing Boy left the room laughing at his play on words.

McLaughlin Man was fuming. "ARRRRRRGH! This can't be happening! Let
us go try the quarters next." Saying each word through clenched teeth.

******************************************************************************

***ADVERTISEMENT***

Watch out for the coming of DOMESTIC LAD, a summer one-shot

introducing the handyman to the Legion of Net.Heros.

*****************************************************************************

McLaughlin Man opened the first door he heard sound coming from. It
turned out to be Procrastination Lad, who was watching television.

"Look at this!" McLM said triumphantly as he took off UN's mask.

"Oh, no! McLaughlin Man, and Ultimate Ninja and you're really...
Man, I gotta go tell somebody!"

McLM had a large grin grow on his face at the words. But it slowly
died as PL sat back down to watch television. "What are you doing??? I thought you were going to tell everyone."

PL waved him off. "I will, I will. There's this thing on TV that
I want to watch first. Hey, could you close the door on your way out,
thanks."

Ultimate Ninja was beginning to feel his strength return, and he
turned to see McLM grinding his jaw, as they spun and left the room. There was definately something wrong with this whole situation, but he could not quite put his finger on it. He recognized the next room they stopped at as Adamant Authority-on Everything's room. This time McLM opened the door and swept of UN's mask in the same motion.

AA-oE stood up quickly and spun to see who had entered his room. After
a moment: "What is this? BandWagon Boy dressed up as Ultimate Ninja?
Today is not Halloween." He said in a know-it-all tone.

"No, don't you get it??! Ultimate Ninja IS BandWagon Boy!"

"No he is not. BandWagon Boy could not POSSIBLY be Ultimate Ninja."

"Yes he is!"

"Not."

"IS!"

"I am never wrong. Ultimate Ninja and BandWagon Boy are not the same.
I refuse to listen to this!"

Ultimate Ninja felt more of his strength return. 'What does he
mean, "UN could not possibly be BWB"???' he thought to himself.

"I'm telling you..." McLM was cut of by Authority who had stuck his
fingers in his ears and was chanting very loudly.

"LALALALALALALALA_I_AM_NOT_LISTENING_LALALALALALALALA_I_AM_RIGHT_LA LALA_YOU_ARE_WRONG!!!" And he turned away.

UN saw McLM clench a fist, and angrily chew on his lips as they turned
and left the chanting Authority to himself.

They ran into Forgetting One in the hallway.

"Let's try this one more time. Hey, you! Look here!" McLM shouted
at FO, who looked a tad confused. "Don't you get it, they are the same!"

Forgetting One brightened with realization. "I've got it!" McLM got
another big smile, but this one died quickly when FO said "FURMAN!!!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Simon Furman. He wrote the last issues of _Transformers_. Where is
that Bibliography Boy, I'll show him. I'll take Mr. High-and-Mighty down a peg!" He said as he pushed past them, calling for Bibliography Boy. McLM
was stunned. He turned to UN and removed his gag.

"How do you work with these people?"

UN glared at McLM, and was about to reply when List Lad interrupted
them. "Hey you're (flips through a list) McLaughlin Man! You are a
villan.
But wait, that is BandWagon Boy dressed up as Ultimate Ninja. What is this, some kind of joke?"

"WRONG!! I don't joke, they are really one and the same."

"Impossible. A) it is a ludicrous idea ('what' thought UN) and
B) Look here (indicates list) and here (flips pages, points). Two entries,
so they MUST be two different people."

"What do I have to do, hit you over the head with a brick???? Crimeny,
you people are complete idiots!!! Fine, you are right, they are different people." McLM turned and took UN with him. List Lad just put his lists
away
and went on about his business.

*******************************************************************************

"I give up. These guys are just too thick-headed!"

Ultimate Ninja felt almost 100%, but was becoming a bit upset with
the LNH. "Yeah, what did he mean 'ludicrous idea' what is the matter with
me being BWB and UN?"

They were back in the lobby, but their conversation was cut short by
Sing Along Lass, Parking Karma Kid, Irony Man, Deductive Logic Man, and Nit-Pick Lad, who were coming in the front door.

"Look" said Irony Man "it is McLaughlin Man, and he has Ultimate Ninja
as a prisoner!"

"no-look-who-it-really-is" McLM said in a monotone, coupled with a
deep sigh, as he removed UN mask.

The group looked at the two, then at each other. Parking Karma Kid
snorted, Sing Along Lass snickered, then the entire group burst into
laughter.

"WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT???" UN/BWB demanded.

"Oh, that is funny, BandWagon Boy is _really_ Ultimate Ninja. BWAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA." spat out PKK. Everyone in the group doubled over,
laughing
very hard.

"What is the matter? Why is everyone laughing? Why is the idea so
funny?" UN/BWB demanded again.

"Oh, OK, I believe you" said Deductive Logic Man slightly mockingly,
"Hey, you can lead us to the polybagged Image #0! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
oh, I can't catch my breath, this is soo funny."

Ultimate Ninja was fuming, he hoped his secret would never get out,
but this most certainly was not the reaction he expected.

"Oh, this is cute, BandWagon Boy." Said Sing Along Lass, wiping a
tear from her eye. "And who is this? (she pinches McLM's cheek)
Is that you Pliable Lad?"

"WRONG!! I am not Pliable Lad." To which everyone started laughing
even harder, some of the LNHers had to wipe away tears. "You deal with
these
loonies, I've had it!" McLM released UN, who was too upset to be concerned with the loss of his ID.

"What is so funny? Here let me prove to you I am UN. Who else do you
know who can do this!" UN performed a long and intricate demonstration of
his
ninja skills and prowess. When he was done, he looked around. In his eagerness to prove his point he had knocked everyone out except Nit-Pick
Lad
and McLM. 'Hmmm, maybe I can still save my secret.' He thought to himself.

"Do not concern yourself, it is not compromised." Said Nit-Pick Lad.

"What are you talking about, this chuckle-head knows, and he'll find
someone who believes him, eventually."

"This is naught but a dream, and this miscreant(indicating McLM) is not
who you think it is." NPL's form changed and he became...the Dvandom
Stranger!
UN looked at who he had thought was McLM, but had become a pale-complected
man
with a green suit on.

"Who is that?"

"I am DreamwReamer!! I feed off making others miserable. I try and
and break the noblest of souls and drink the nectar of their anguish and
agony. Only in your case, it backfired!"

"That is the result of my interference." said Dvandom. "This entity
is too similar to some marvelous company's character. I had to expel his
evil infuence before litigators arrived, darkening the .net and demanding royalties and compensation. I would have arrived sooner, but such matters
are
only of passing concern...to a Stranger."

UN had no great like for abstract entities, and he was feeling parched,
overall it had not been a good day.

"Allow me to dispose of this...entity in a way befitting his evil ways
and deeds." Dvandom Stranger liquifies dreamwReamer and puts him
into a jar, which goes into a pocket in his trenchcoat.

Meanwhile UN had made his way to the slurpee machine, and poured
himself a generous amount. However, as he puts the cup to his lips,
Nothing
comes out. He opens his eyes to find the cup empty. "Wha..."

Dvandom Stranger supressed a smirk. "I must attend to the various
labors that I have deemed worthy of my valuable time, but do not fear for I have the DreamwReamer safely in storage, he shall trouble you NO MORE!"
Dvandom Stranger dissapeared in a plume of smoke after emphasizing his final two words.

****************************************************************************

Ultimate Ninja sat up awake, and found himself in his ready room.
'That was very bizarre.' UN thought, uncertain if it was truly a dream.
UN was still parched and made his way to the slurpee machines.

He ran into CheeseCake-Eater Lad near the machine. "Hey, CCEL,
was I in here earlier with McLaughlin Man?"

"No. Are you OK?"

"I guess our recent jungle adventure took more out of me than I
thought."

"Well then, I have just the thing to help you regain your strength!
Try some of my Jungle Cheesecake, I made it fresh today."

"No thanks, I'll just have a slurpee." He said as he poured himself
an extra-large cup. "Ah, this blend looks very thick." UN said as he
tasted
some to finally relieve his thirst. However the taste shocked him.

"AAUUHH, this tastes like...like," he said as he spat out the slurpee, "CHEESECAKE!!!!"

"Yeah, it's my new blend. The Cheesecake Slurpee, just think of all
of the varieties. I could make one kind for every type of cheese..."

CCEL was cut off when UN picked him up with one hand and slammed him
against the wall. He still held CCEL against the wall. "Let's just
get one thing straight, don't you ever, I mean EVER, put another of your concoctions in MY slurpee machine. Just keep your cheesecakes in the
kitchen."
UN said in a menacing tone.

"OK, so I guess I can put you down for a 'no' on my new slurpee?"
CCEL said with a small smile and shrug.

FIN.

ROLL CALL:
BandWagon Boy / Ultimate Ninja sl859@cc.usu.edu
Dvandom Stranger dvandom@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu

CheeseCake Eater Lad, Typo Lad,
Browsing Boy, Bibliography Boy,
California Kid, Bad-Timing Boy,
Procrastination Lad, misc. NWC's
Adamant Authority-on Everything
Forgetting One, List Lad,
Sing-Along Lass, Parking Karma Kid,
Irony Man, Dedctive Logic Man,
Nit-Pick Lad.

AND INTRODUCING:
DreamwReamer kenaschm@cs.indiana.edu
inspired by, oh what
is his name again...

_______________________________________________________________________________ Ken Schmidt TSAR CHASM kenaschm@cs.indiana.edu of the
Independ Net
Conquerers

"I am very patient, and soon enough all of the .net shall be my ...
domain." -TSAR CHASM _______________________________________________________________________________

From: "Ken Schmidt" <kenaschm@cs.indiana.edu>
Subject: Domestic Lad

First, I got to give a shout out to Mr. Phipps for the info on the LNH receptionist, and for the inspiration for a part of the 'conversation'
(I hope he knows which part:)

*******************************************************************************

DOMESTIC LAD

*******************************************************************************

The Legion's receptionist was straightening his desk, glad for a
relatively slow day after the recent 'storms'. Heehee, the lengths Deja
Dude
went through for his 'love interest'. The phone rang and the receptionist picked it up.

"Yes? No she's not in right now, no he is not either. May I take a
message? Alright, Mr. Baka, I'll give her the message." The receptionist picked up a pencil to write down the message, but the lead had broke. He
stuck
it in the electric sharpener but nothing happened. He glared at the
machine
and thought to himself 'These people can save the .net before breakfast,
but
they can't fix one lousy pencil shapener. I've asked all of our so-called ' scientific genuises' and they said one of them would get to it, as his/her schedule allowed, but that's been weeks ago.' He wrote the message as best
he
was able, but it wasn't up to the standards he typically set for himself.

He looked up to see a man entering the HQ, looking side to side a bit nervously.

"May I help you?"

"Uhh, yeah... Well, actually I think I kin help y'all."

"Right. How may the LNH be of service to you...?" The receptionist
was trying to size up the newcomer. Fairly tall, wearing well-worn
overalls
and carrying a backpack that had a metallic jingle as he crossed the room.

The stranger brightened and extended his hand," Just call me...
DOMESTIC LAD."

"Really? Is that your real name."

"Nope, it's muh code name. Pa told me 'Son, you've got ta have a code
name if your gonna be runnin' around with them Legion types.'"

"'Pa', eh? His name wouldn't happen to be 'Kent' would it?"

Domestic Lad looked surprized,"That's right! Do ya know him?"

"No, no. Let's just say I've been... expecting someone with a 'Pa
Kent' for quite sometime now." The receptionist sighed heavily, he was definately asking for a raise sometime soon.

"That's muh pa, Kent Ladd."

"Come again. Did you say Kent Ladd? I'm sorry, I thought Kent was
your last name. So, what is your real name?"

"Well, I guess I kin trust ya. Muh real name is Domenic Ladd, of the
Net.lanta Ladd's."

"(Gee, I never would have guessed it.)"

"Pardon?"

"Uhh...you must be blessed for it." He paused "So what do you offer to
the LNH?"

"Well, I'm good with muh hands, I kinda figured on bein' a handyman,
an'..."

"Hmm... yes, well we already have someone to clean up around here and
we have many members who are quite capable of doing maintenance."

"Yes, but..."

"Capt. Cleanup and Squeaky Clean do an excellent job of tidying up."

"Well, sir..."

"Haven't you heard of Contraption Man? Kid Kirby? Bicycle Repair
Boy?."

"Yes, sir. But then, why haven't any of them fixed your pencil
sharpener?"

"Wha... How did...Did you see me trying to sharpen my pencil earlier?"

"No, sir. I kin...sense problems in around-the-house, er headquarter
things." He picked up the pencil sharpener and reached into his backpack. Domestic Lad pulled out an electric screw-driver and took the case off. He looked at it and played with a few wires and put it back together. "There, that should do it."

The receptionist skeptically looked at the pencil sharpener, and stuck
his pencil into it. He said "Hey!" as the sharpener began to work.

"I kin do other things too. Plumbin', and cookin'...in a pinch."

"Well...how about computers? My machine has been..."

"Nope, sorry. I can't do much with them new-fangled things." He said apologetically.

"Then..." The receptionist was cut off by a comotion close-by.

"What is that?" Asked Domestic Lad, pointing in the general direction
of the slurpee machine.

The receptionist followed the finger and quickly explained with a
bemused expression on his face. "Oh, that is just Ultimate Ninja...casting
his
vote for Cheesecake-Eater Lad's new slurpee, looks like a nay from here."
(Yep. From "Ultimate Nightmare". Haven't read it??? Let me know I'll mail you a copy. -K)

The two of them watched as Ultimate Ninja put CCEL down and leave the
room.

CCEL spotted the receptionist and Domestic Lad and went over to them.
"Whew. That didn't go over like I expected."

"So what did he want?" Asked the receptionist.

"He wants his favorite flavor put back in ASAP, I don't suppose
you know how to flush the slurpee drum fast?"

"Well, sir..." began Domestic Lad.

"Yes?"

"If'n you have a compressed air tank, we could do it mighty quick." ****************************************************************************

When they had finished the task, CheeseCake Eater Lad turned to
Domestic Lad. "Thanks. Say, what are you doing later this week?"

"Not much, I s'pose."

"Well, I've been invited to this meeting, but I can't make it. So
if you would like, you can take my invitation."

"Thanks. I..." Domestic Lad was cut off by Trivia King coming in the
front door and asking the receptionist if there were any messages.

"Why, yes." The receptionist said. "A Mr. Baka called and said he
had found a job for you writing questions for a gameshow out in .NetWood."

"That's great!"

CCEL walked over. "What do you need a job for?"

"Well, if you haven't noticed I haven't been very active lately. I
figured I'd do something to pass the time. Actually I was asked by this
Mr. Baka, who recently opened an agency for employment, about him finding a
job for me. I think he has talked to some of the others too."

"Really? I wonder why he didn't contact me?"

"I dunno. Well, I got a phone call to make. Say did you know that...
Excuse me, I don't think we've been introduced." Trivia King turned to Domestic Lad.

"I'm Domestic Lad, pleased to make your acquaintance." He shook
Trivia King's hand.

"Domestic Lad? So what can you do?"

"Well..."

FIN. (but please read next section) *******************************************************************************

Roster Type: LNH wannabe
NAME: Domestic Lad
TYPE: NWC (Public Domain) created by:kenaschm@cs.indiana.edu
POWERS: Various around the headquarter repair abilities
ADD.NOTES:Has a backpack that is his toolbox, has any tool he needs.

NOTES ON DOMESTIC LAD:
I know his abilities are vague. But I did that intentionally. Basically
he does whatever the writer wants. (He isn't much use in a fight, though; unless you really want an omlete during the fight:). I see him doing things that the writer normally can't do around the house. For instance, I can't
do a
thing to fix some of the small electronics around the house. I know zilch about plumbing (OK I can handle the faucets :) so that is what I see him as.
I don't see him as "Hey I can rewire the entire defense grid, or improve the Peril Room" type.
The only thing I really would like to keep consistent is him being a simple, but NOT stupid, person.

****************************************************************************
I posted this once on alt.comics.lnh, so some of you might have read it.
(I already got Mr. Lawrence, Wilcox, and Fitz..Fittz... Charles's letters. Thanks guys):

Could anyone who is planning on using a 'Public Domain' NWC this
summer please let me know. I would like to know who I won't be able to
use. Thanks.
(Yes there was a hint of what is to come in this story ;) _______________________________________________________________________________ Ken Schmidt TSAR CHASM kenaschm@cs.indiana.edu of the
Independ Net
Conquerers

"I am very patient, and soon all of the .net shall be my...

==========

Next Week: Something something LNH!!!

==========

Arthur "Same Classic Channel. But Same Time? Probably not." Spitzer

--000000000000ce85fb0653231e6f
Content-Type: text/html; charset="UTF-8"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

<div dir=3D"ltr">And we're back in the past and can check the eyrie arc= hive once again. Here's where you can find this and more=
Ultimate Ninja Action!: <a href=3D"https://archives.eyrie.org/ra= cc/lnh/Series/Ultimate.Ninja/">https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/Series/U= ltimate.Ninja/</a> And it's The UN: Early Summer Special and=
Domestic Lad One Shots with Ken Schmidt! Is it time for McL= aughlin Man to kick ass and chew bubble gum?!=C2=A0 But what if he's=
all out of bubble gum?!! And is the LNH ready for -- DOMESTIC LAD?!=
! =C2=A0(And do you suppose he has an arch-enemy called -- IMPORTED L= AD?!!!!) Find out in... =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 = =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 _ =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =
=C2=A0| | =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0Classic =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0| | =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0=3D =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 = =C2=A0| | =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0____ =C2=A0 =C2=A0____ =C2=A0 =C2=A0_ =C2=A0 = =C2=A0____ =C2=A0 =C2=A0___ =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 = =C2=A0| |__ =C2=A0 | [] | =C2=A0| [] | =C2=A0| | =C2=A0| [] | =C2=A0| _ \ = =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0|____| =C2=A0=
\__] =C2=A0 =C2=A0\__ | =C2=A0|_| =C2=A0 \__/ =C2=A0 |_|\_\ =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 = =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0|| =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 = =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 |_| =C2=A0OF NET.HEROES =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 = =C2=A0 =C2=A0 ADVENTURES #416 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 = =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0=3D=3D=3D=3D= =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0=
=C2=A0 =C2=A0 The UN: Early Summer Special and Domestic Lad One Shots = =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D= =3D=3D From: "Kenneth A. Schmidt" <<a href=3D"m= ailto:kenaschm@cs.indiana.edu">kenaschm@cs.indiana.edu</a>> Subject: = The story I promised!! Here it is!!!=C2=A0 Make sure you get both co= vers!! =C2=A0 Version A polybagged with a small, plastic ginsu blade. = =C2=A0 Version B with a small, plastic shuriken.=C2=A0 The name is: <= br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 THE ULTIMATE NINJA EARLY SUMMER SPECIAL : =C2=A0THE ULTIMA=
TE NIGHTMARE _______________________________________________________= _____________________ Ultimate Ninja couldn't believe it.=C2=A0 He =
had just gone out to eat. Cheesecake Eater-Lad had taken over the kitche=
n, so UN decided to go out. He was at Squiddie's Sushi, and who shou=
ld be in front of him in line, but McLaughlin Man.=C2=A0 What surprized=
UN even more was that before he could react, McLM had grabbed him and t= ossed him out the front window. =C2=A0 The shattering glass had cau= ght his mask, and tore it!=C2=A0 BandWagon Boy's face was exposed! = =C2=A0 As UN hit the pavement, his head slammed hard on the pavement.= =C2=A0 He fought with unconsciousness, as McLM stood over him. &quo= t;SO, the powerful Ultimate Ninja is really BandWagon Boy.=C2=A0 Ah, do you= know what I do next?" "Kill me, and give me an honora= ble death, befitting a ..." "WRONG!! I take you to LNHHQ =
and humiliate you in front of all your friends!" =C2=A0McLM conclud=
ed with an evil laugh, as UN faded to black. ***********************= ****************************************************** Ultimate Nin= ja regained consciousness, but found his arms and legs securely bound.= =C2=A0 He looked, but couldn't see any shackles! "They are=
made of a crystal clear mylar.=C2=A0 A little gift I took from Poly Bag=
, and this gag completes the set." UN could feel that his mask=
was partially reattached over his gag, and covering his face.=C2=A0 He = felt weak, McLauglin Man must have drugged him, the whole scene felt su= rreal, kind of like Bill Sienkewicz's run on New Mutants. =C2=A0 McL=
M marched UN into the lobby of the LNHHQ, but it was deserted.=C2=A0 They m= oved into the cafeteria, and were passed by CheeseCake-Eater Lad and Ty=
po Lad. "C'mon, it was not THAT bad!" =C2=A0CCEL said=
to the doubled-up Typo Lad, who had his hand covering his mouth as he = ran down the hall. McLM interrupted them. =C2=A0"Look you fool=
s!=C2=A0 Look upon the true face of your leader." =C2=A0He pulled a= way UN mask. CCEL and Typo Lad stopped and looked, and shrugged. = =C2=A0"So?=C2=A0 Tell us something we didn't already know.&quot= ; Typo Lad doubled over again, "Eye theenk eye yam..." =
=C2=A0He couldn't finish his sentance, and ran down the hall, follow=
ed by a pleading CCEL. "But... hey..." "ARGH=
!" McLM turned to UN,"Don't think this lets you off the hook!= I will find someone else!" They walked into the reading ar=
ea where Bibliography Boy, California Kid, and Browsing Boy were. <br=

"Hey, you over there!" =C2=A0McLM yelled. "HEY, I =

just picked it up!=C2=A0 I wasn't gonna read it all!=C2=A0 I'm tire= d of being told this ain't no..." =C2=A0Browsing Boy started, b=
ut was cut off by California Kid. "Mellow out, man.=C2=A0 = This is the HQ, not a comic store." Bibliography Boy looked cl=
oser at the two who just entered the room. "That's McLauglin Ma= n!=C2=A0 And he has got Ultimate Ninja, let's get him!" &q=
uot;Not so fast!=C2=A0 Allow me to show you..." "FIRE IN = THE HOLE, EVERYONE GET OUT!!!" =C2=A0Bad-Timing Boy had stuck his h= ead in from the lobby.=C2=A0 The three LNHers broke out like the wind. <=

Bad Timing Boy kept on walking in. =C2=A0"Where did they get off t=

o in such a hurry?" "You came in and screamed 'fir=
e in the hole' =C2=A0what did you think they would do?" =C2=A0A=
very unhappy McLM said. "Oops.=C2=A0 I meant 'Here is Bow=
e, in championship bout'. Heh-heh, guess we'll have to chalk tha=
t one up to bad-timing, eh?" =C2=A0Bad-Timing Boy left the room lau= ghing at his play on words. McLaughlin Man was fuming. =C2=A0"=
ARRRRRRGH!=C2=A0 This can't be happening!=C2=A0 Let us go try the qu= arters next." =C2=A0Saying each word through clenched teeth. **= ***************************************************************************= * ***ADVERTISEMENT*** Watch out for the coming of DOMESTIC=
LAD, a summer one-shot introducing the handyman to the Legion of Ne= t.Heros. =C2=A0 ****************************************************= ************************* McLaughlin Man opened the first door he h=
eard sound coming from.=C2=A0 It turned out to be Procrastination Lad, w=
ho was watching television. "Look at this!" =C2=A0McLM sa=
id triumphantly as he took off UN's mask. "Oh, no!=C2=A0 M= cLaughlin Man, and Ultimate Ninja and you're really... Man, I gotta =
go tell somebody!" McLM had a large grin grow on his face at t=
he words.=C2=A0 But it slowly died as PL sat back down to watch televisi= on. =C2=A0"What are you doing???=C2=A0 I thought you were going to=
tell everyone." PL waved him off. =C2=A0"I will, I will.= =C2=A0 There's this thing on TV that I want to watch first.=C2=A0 He=
y, could you close the door on your way out, thanks." =C2=A0 U=
ltimate Ninja was beginning to feel his strength return, and he turned t=
o see McLM =C2=A0grinding his jaw, as they spun and left the room.=C2=A0 Th= ere was definately something wrong with this whole situation, but he cou=
ld not quite put his finger on it.=C2=A0 He recognized the next room th=
ey stopped at as Adamant Authority-on Everything's room.=C2=A0 This = time McLM opened the door and swept of UN's mask in the same motion.= AA-oE stood up quickly and spun to see who had entered his room.=
=C2=A0 After a moment: "What is this?=C2=A0 BandWagon Boy dressed u=
p as Ultimate Ninja? Today is not Halloween." =C2=A0He said in a kn= ow-it-all tone. "No, don't you get it??!=C2=A0 Ultimate Ni= nja IS BandWagon Boy!" "No he is not.=C2=A0 BandWagon Boy=
could not POSSIBLY be Ultimate Ninja." "Yes he is!"=
 "Not." "IS!" "I am never=
wrong.=C2=A0 Ultimate Ninja and BandWagon Boy are not the same. I refu=
se to listen to this!" =C2=A0 Ultimate Ninja felt more of his =
strength return. =C2=A0'What does he mean, "UN could not possib=
ly be BWB"???' =C2=A0he thought to himself. "I'm = telling you..." =C2=A0McLM was cut of by Authority who had stuck his<b= r>fingers in his ears and was chanting very loudly. "LALALALAL=
ALALALA_I_AM_NOT_LISTENING_LALALALALALALALA_I_AM_RIGHT_LA LALA_YOU_ARE_W= RONG!!!" =C2=A0And he turned away. UN saw McLM clench a fist, = and angrily chew on his lips as they turned and left the chanting Author= ity to himself. They ran into Forgetting One in the hallway. =C2=A0= "Let's try this one more time.=C2=A0 Hey, you!=C2=A0 Look=
here!" =C2=A0McLM shouted at FO, who looked a tad confused. =C2=A0= "Don't you get it, they are the same!" Forgetting One=
brightened with realization. =C2=A0"I've got it!" =C2=A0McLM=
got another big smile, but this one died quickly when FO said "FUR= MAN!!!" "What are you talking about?" "= Simon Furman.=C2=A0 He wrote the last issues of _Transformers_.=C2=A0 Where=
is that Bibliography Boy, I'll show him.=C2=A0 I'll take Mr. Hi= gh-and-Mighty down a peg!" =C2=A0He said as he pushed past them, c= alling for Bibliography Boy.=C2=A0 McLM was stunned.=C2=A0 He turned to =
UN and removed his gag. "How do you work with these people?&qu= ot; UN glared at McLM, and was about to reply when List Lad interru=
pted them. "Hey you're =C2=A0(flips through a list) =C2=A0McLa= ughlin Man!=C2=A0 You are a villan. But wait, that is BandWagon Boy dres= sed up as Ultimate Ninja.=C2=A0 What is this, some kind of joke?"<b= r> "WRONG!!=C2=A0 I don't joke, they are really one and the sa= me." "Impossible.=C2=A0 A) it is a ludicrous idea ('w=
hat' thought UN) and B) Look here (indicates list) and here (flips p= ages, points).=C2=A0 Two entries, so they MUST be two different people.&= quot; "What do I have to do, hit you over the head with a bric= k????=C2=A0 Crimeny, you people are complete idiots!!!=C2=A0 Fine, you a=
re right, they are different people." =C2=A0McLM turned and took U=
N with him.=C2=A0 List Lad just put his lists away and went on about his=
business. *********************************************************= ********************** "I give up.=C2=A0 These guys are just t= oo thick-headed!" Ultimate Ninja felt almost 100%, but was bec= oming a bit upset with the LNH. =C2=A0"Yeah, what did he mean '= ludicrous idea' =C2=A0what is the matter with me being BWB and UN?&q= uot; They were back in the lobby, but their conversation was cut sh= ort by Sing Along Lass, Parking Karma Kid, Irony Man, Deductive Logic M= an, and Nit-Pick Lad, who were coming in the front door. "= Look" said Irony Man "it is McLaughlin Man, and he has Ultimate N= inja as a prisoner!" "no-look-who-it-really-is" = =C2=A0McLM said in a monotone, coupled with a deep sigh, as he removed =
UN mask. The group looked at the two, then at each other.=C2=A0 Par=
king Karma Kid snorted, Sing Along Lass snickered, then the entire group=
burst into laughter. "WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT???" UN/BW= B demanded. "Oh, that is funny, BandWagon Boy is _really_ Ulti=
mate Ninja. BWAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA." =C2=A0spat out PKK.=C2=A0 Ever= yone in the group doubled over, laughing very hard. "What i=
s the matter?=C2=A0 Why is everyone laughing?=C2=A0 Why is the idea so = funny?" =C2=A0UN/BWB demanded again. "Oh, OK, I believe y=
ou" said Deductive Logic Man slightly mockingly, "Hey, you can=
lead us to the polybagged Image #0!=C2=A0 BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH oh, I c= an't catch my breath, this is soo funny." Ultimate Ninja w=
as fuming, he hoped his secret would never get out, but this most certa= inly was not the reaction he expected. "Oh, this is cute, Band= Wagon Boy." =C2=A0Said Sing Along Lass, wiping a tear from her eye.=
=C2=A0"And who is this? (she pinches McLM's cheek) Is that you=
Pliable Lad?" "WRONG!! I am not Pliable Lad." =C2= =A0To which everyone started laughing even harder, some of the LNHers ha=
d to wipe away tears. =C2=A0"You deal with these loonies, I've = had it!" =C2=A0McLM released UN, who was too upset to be concerned <br= >with the loss of his ID. "What is so funny?=C2=A0 Here let me=
prove to you I am UN.=C2=A0 Who else do you know who can do this!"=
=C2=A0UN performed a long and intricate demonstration of his ninja skil=
ls and prowess.=C2=A0 When he was done, he looked around.=C2=A0 In his = eagerness to prove his point he had knocked everyone out except Nit-Pick La=
d and McLM. =C2=A0'Hmmm, maybe I can still save my secret.' =C2= =A0He thought to himself. "Do not concern yourself, it is not =
compromised." =C2=A0Said Nit-Pick Lad. "What are you talk=
ing about, this chuckle-head knows, and he'll find someone who belie= ves him, eventually." "This is naught but a dream, and th=
is miscreant(indicating McLM) is not who you think it is." =C2=A0NP= L's form changed and he became...the Dvandom Stranger! UN looked at = who he had thought was McLM, but had become a pale-complected man with a=
green suit on. "Who is that?" "I am DreamwR=
eamer!! I feed off making others miserable.=C2=A0 I try and and break t=
he noblest of souls and drink the nectar of their anguish and agony.=C2= =A0 Only in your case, it backfired!" "That is the result=
of my interference." said Dvandom. =C2=A0"This entity is too = similar to some marvelous company's character.=C2=A0 I had to expel his=
 evil infuence before litigators arrived, darkening the .net and demand= ing royalties and compensation.=C2=A0 I would have arrived sooner, but s= uch matters are only of passing concern...to a Stranger." U=
N had no great like for abstract entities, and he was feeling parched, o= verall it had not been a good day. "Allow me to dispose of thi=
s...entity in a way befitting his evil ways and deeds." =C2=A0Dvand=
om Stranger liquifies dreamwReamer and puts him into a jar, which goes i= nto a pocket in his trenchcoat. Meanwhile UN had made his way to th=
e slurpee machine, and poured himself a generous amount.=C2=A0 However,=
as he puts the cup to his lips, Nothing comes out.=C2=A0 He opens his = eyes to find the cup empty. =C2=A0"Wha..." Dvandom Strang= er supressed a smirk. "I must attend to the various labors that I = have deemed worthy of my valuable time, but do not fear for I have the D= reamwReamer safely in storage, he shall trouble you NO MORE!" =C2=A0<b= r>Dvandom Stranger dissapeared in a plume of smoke after emphasizing his fi= nal two words. **************************************************= ************************** Ultimate Ninja sat up awake, and found h=
imself in his ready room. 'That was very bizarre.' =C2=A0UN thou= ght, uncertain if it was truly a dream. UN was still parched and made hi=
s way to the slurpee machines. He ran into CheeseCake-Eater Lad nea=
r the machine. =C2=A0"Hey, CCEL, was I in here earlier with McLaugh= lin Man?" "No.=C2=A0 Are you OK?" "I gu=
ess our recent jungle adventure took more out of me than I thought.&quo= t; "Well then, I have just the thing to help you regain your s=
trength! Try some of my Jungle Cheesecake, I made it fresh today." = =C2=A0 "No thanks, I'll just have a slurpee." =C2=A0H=
e said as he poured himself an extra-large cup. =C2=A0"Ah, this ble=
nd looks very thick." =C2=A0UN said as he tasted some to finally re= lieve his thirst.=C2=A0 However the taste shocked him. =C2=A0 &quo=
t;AAUUHH, this tastes like...like," he said as he spat out the slurpee= , "CHEESECAKE!!!!" "Yeah, it's my new blend.= =C2=A0 The Cheesecake Slurpee, just think of all of the varieties.=C2=A0=
I could make one kind for every type of cheese..." CCEL was c=
ut off when UN picked him up with one hand and slammed him against the w= all.=C2=A0 He still held CCEL against the wall. =C2=A0"Let's just<= br>get one thing straight, don't you ever, I mean EVER, put another of = your concoctions in MY slurpee machine.=C2=A0 Just keep your cheesecakes=
in the kitchen." UN said in a menacing tone. =C2=A0 "= OK, so I guess I can put you down for a 'no' on my new slurpee?&quo= t; CCEL said with a small smile and shrug. FIN. <b=

 ROLL CALL: BandWagon Boy / Ultimate Ninja <a href=3D"ma=

ilto:sl859@cc.usu.edu">sl859@cc.usu.edu</a> Dvandom Stranger <a href=
=3D"mailto:dvandom@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu">dvandom@magnus.acs.ohio-state= .edu</a> CheeseCake Eater Lad, Typo Lad, Browsing Boy, Bibliograp=
hy Boy, California Kid, Bad-Timing Boy, Procrastination Lad, misc=
. NWC's Adamant Authority-on Everything Forgetting One, List Lad,= Sing-Along Lass, Parking Karma Kid, Irony Man, Dedctive Logic Man,<b= r>Nit-Pick Lad. AND INTRODUCING: DreamwReamer <a href=3D"=
mailto:kenaschm@cs.indiana.edu">kenaschm@cs.indiana.edu</a> inspir=
ed by, oh what is his name again... _______________________=
________________________________________________________ Ken Schmidt =C2= =A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 = =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 TSAR CHASM <a href=3D"mailto:kenaschm@cs= .indiana.edu">kenaschm@cs.indiana.edu</a> =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 = =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 of the =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 = =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 = =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 Independ Net =C2=A0 =C2= =A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 = =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 Conquere= rs "I am very patient, and soon enough all of the .net shall be=
my ... =C2=A0domain." -TSAR CHASM _____________________________= __________________________________________________ From: "K=
en Schmidt" <<a href=3D"mailto:kenaschm@cs.indiana.edu">kenaschm@cs= .indiana.edu</a>> Subject: Domestic Lad First, I got to give a=
shout out to Mr. Phipps for the info on the LNH receptionist, and for = the inspiration for a part of the 'conversation' (I hope he know=
s which part:) *****************************************************= ************************** DOMESTIC LAD *****************=
************************************************************** The = Legion's receptionist was straightening his desk, glad for a relativ= ely slow day after the recent 'storms'.=C2=A0 Heehee, the lengths D= eja Dude went through for his 'love interest'.=C2=A0 The phone r= ang and the receptionist picked it up. "Yes?=C2=A0 No she&=
#39;s not in right now, no he is not either.=C2=A0 May I take a message= ?=C2=A0 Alright, Mr. Baka, I'll give her the message." =C2=A0The r= eceptionist picked up a pencil to write down the message, but the lead = had broke.=C2=A0 He stuck it in the electric sharpener but nothing happe= ned.=C2=A0 He glared at the machine and thought to himself =C2=A0'T= hese people can save the .net before breakfast, but they can't fix = one lousy pencil shapener.=C2=A0 I've asked all of our so-called '<= br>scientific genuises' and they said one of them would get to it, as h= is/her schedule allowed, but that's been weeks ago.' =C2=A0He w= rote the message as best he was able, but it wasn't up to the standa= rds he typically set for himself. He looked up to see a man enterin=
g the HQ, looking side to side a bit nervously. "May I help=
you?" "Uhh, yeah...=C2=A0 Well, actually I think I kin h=
elp y'all." "Right.=C2=A0 How may the LNH be of servi= ce to you...?" =C2=A0The receptionist was trying to size up the new= comer.=C2=A0 Fairly tall, wearing well-worn overalls and carrying a bac= kpack that had a metallic jingle as he crossed the room. =C2=A0 The=
stranger brightened and extended his hand," =C2=A0Just call me... = DOMESTIC LAD." "Really?=C2=A0 Is that your real name.&quo=
t; "Nope, it's muh code name.=C2=A0 Pa told me 'Son, y=
ou've got ta have a code name if your gonna be runnin' around wi=
th them Legion types.'" "'Pa', eh?=C2=A0 His =
name wouldn't happen to be 'Kent' would it?" Domes= tic Lad looked surprized,"That's right!=C2=A0 Do ya know him?&quot= ; "No, no.=C2=A0 Let's just say I've been... expecting=
someone with a 'Pa Kent' for quite sometime now." =C2=A0Th=
e receptionist sighed heavily, he was definately asking for a raise som= etime soon. =C2=A0 "That's muh pa, Kent Ladd." <br=

"Come again.=C2=A0 Did you say Kent Ladd?=C2=A0 I'm sorry, I tho=

ught Kent was your last name.=C2=A0 So, what is your real name?"<b= r> "Well, I guess I kin trust ya.=C2=A0 Muh real name is Domenic L= add, of the Net.lanta Ladd's." "(Gee, I never woul=
d have guessed it.)" =C2=A0 "Pardon?" &quot=
;Uhh...you must be blessed for it." =C2=A0He paused "So what do y=
ou offer to the LNH?" "Well, I'm good with muh han= ds, I kinda figured on bein' a handyman, an'..." &q=
uot;Hmm... yes, well we already have someone to clean up around here and<br= >we have many members who are quite capable of doing maintenance." =
 "Yes, but..." "Capt. Cleanup and Squeaky Clean =
do an excellent job of tidying up." "Well, sir..."<b=

 "Haven't you heard of Contraption Man?=C2=A0 Kid Kirby?=C2= =A0 Bicycle Repair Boy?." "Yes, sir.=C2=A0 But then, =

why haven't any of them fixed your pencil sharpener?" =
"Wha... How did...Did you see me trying to sharpen my pencil earlier?&= quot; "No, sir.=C2=A0 I kin...sense problems in around-the-hou= se, er headquarter things." =C2=A0He picked up the pencil sharpener=
and reached into his backpack. Domestic Lad pulled out an electric scre= w-driver and took the case off.=C2=A0 He looked at it and played with a = few wires and put it back together. =C2=A0"There, that should do i= t." The receptionist skeptically looked at the pencil sharpene=
r, and stuck his pencil into it.=C2=A0 He said "Hey!" =C2=A0as=
the sharpener began to work. "I kin do other things too.=C2= =A0 Plumbin', and cookin'...in a pinch." "Well...= how about computers?=C2=A0 My machine has been..." "Nope,=
sorry.=C2=A0 I can't do much with them new-fangled things." He sa=
id apologetically. "Then..." =C2=A0The receptionist w= as cut off by a comotion close-by. "What is that?" =C2=A0=
Asked Domestic Lad, pointing in the general direction of the slurpee mac= hine. The receptionist followed the finger and quickly explained wi= th a bemused expression on his face. "Oh, that is just Ultimate Ni= nja...casting his vote for Cheesecake-Eater Lad's new slurpee, looks=
like a nay from here." =C2=A0 (Yep.=C2=A0 From "Ultimate Nigh= tmare".=C2=A0 Haven't read it???=C2=A0 Let me know I'll mail<b= r>you a copy. =C2=A0-K) The two of them watched as Ultimate Ninja p=
ut CCEL down and leave the room. CCEL spotted the receptionist a=
nd Domestic Lad and went over to them. "Whew.=C2=A0 That didn't=
go over like I expected." "So what did he want?" = =C2=A0Asked the receptionist. "He wants his favorite flavor pu= t back in ASAP, I don't suppose you know how to flush the slurpee dr=
um fast?" "Well, sir..." began Domestic Lad. =
"Yes?" "If'n you have a compressed air tank, we=
could do it mighty quick." ***************************************= ************************************* When they had finished the ta= sk, CheeseCake Eater Lad turned to Domestic Lad. =C2=A0"Thanks.=C2= =A0 Say, what are you doing later this week?" "Not much, =
I s'pose." "Well, I've been invited to this meeti=
ng, but I can't make it.=C2=A0 So if you would like, you can take my=
invitation." "Thanks.=C2=A0 I..." Domestic Lad was =
cut off by Trivia King coming in the front door and asking the receptio= nist if there were any messages. "Why, yes." =C2=A0The re=
ceptionist said. =C2=A0"A Mr. Baka called and said he had found a j=
ob for you writing questions for a gameshow out in .NetWood." =
"That's great!" CCEL walked over. =C2=A0"What do=
you need a job for?" "Well, if you haven't noticed I=
haven't been very active lately.=C2=A0 I figured I'd do someth= ing to pass the time.=C2=A0 Actually I was asked by this Mr. Baka, who r= ecently opened an agency for employment, about him finding a job for me= .=C2=A0 I think he has talked to some of the others too." &quo= t;Really?=C2=A0 I wonder why he didn't contact me?" "= I dunno.=C2=A0 Well, I got a phone call to make.=C2=A0 Say did you know tha= t... Excuse me, I don't think we've been introduced." =C2= =A0Trivia King turned to Domestic Lad. "I'm Domestic L=
ad, pleased to make your acquaintance." =C2=A0He shook Trivia King= 's hand. =C2=A0 "Domestic Lad?=C2=A0 So what can you do?&q=
uot; "Well..." FIN. (but please read next secti=
on) ********************************************************************= *********** Roster Type: =C2=A0LNH wannabe NAME: =C2=A0Domestic L= ad TYPE: =C2=A0NWC (Public Domain) =C2=A0created <a href=3D"mailto:by%3A= kenaschm@cs.indiana.edu">by:kenaschm@cs.indiana.edu</a> POWERS: Various = around the headquarter repair abilities ADD.NOTES:Has a backpack that is=
his toolbox, has any tool he needs. NOTES ON DOMESTIC LAD: I kno=
w his abilities are vague.=C2=A0 But I did that intentionally.=C2=A0 Basica= lly he does whatever the writer wants. (He isn't much use in a fight=
, though; unless you really want an omlete during the fight:). I see hi=
m doing things that the writer normally can't do around the house.= =C2=A0 For instance, I can't do a thing to fix some of the small ele= ctronics around the house.=C2=A0 I know zilch about plumbing (OK I can = handle the faucets :) so that is what I see him as. I don't see him =
as "Hey I can rewire the entire defense grid, or improve the Peril = Room" type. The only thing I really would like to keep consistent i=
s him being a simple, but NOT stupid, person. =C2=A0 ************= **************************************************************** I poste=
d this once on alt.comics.lnh, so some of you might have read it. (I al= ready got Mr. Lawrence, Wilcox, and Fitz..Fittz... Charles's letters.<b= r>Thanks guys): Could anyone who is planning on using a 'Public=
Domain' NWC this summer please let me know.=C2=A0 I would like to k= now who I won't be able to use. Thanks. (Yes there was a hint of=
what is to come in this story ;) ______________________________________= _________________________________________ Ken Schmidt =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 = =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 TSAR CHASM <a href=3D"mailto:kenaschm@cs.indiana.edu">= kenaschm@cs.indiana.edu</a> =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 = =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 of the =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 = =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 = =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 Independ Net =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2= =A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 = =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 Conquerers &quo= t;I am very patient, and soon all of the .net shall be my... <br= > =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D Next Week: =C2=A0Something somet= hing LNH!!! =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D Arthur "Same = Classic Channel.=C2=A0 But Same Time?=C2=A0 Probably not." Spitzer <br= ></div>

--000000000000ce85fb0653231e6f--
--- Synchronet 3.22a-Linux NewsLink 1.2

Who's Online
Recent Visitors
- Geek2
  Thu Jul 2 11:41:05 2026
  from Euclid, Oh via Telnet
- Hannibal
  Thu Jul 2 05:49:27 2026
  from Des Moines via SSH
- Geek2
  Wed Jul 1 16:31:20 2026
  from Euclid, Oh via Telnet
- Hannibal
  Tue Jun 30 16:45:42 2026
  from Des Moines via SSH

System Info

Sysop:	Amessyroom
Location:	Fayetteville, NC
Users:	70
Nodes:	6 (0 / 6)
Uptime:	39:26:08
Calls:	948
Calls today:	2
Files:	1,325
Messages:	280,644

LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #416: The UN: Early Summer Special and Domestic Lad One

Who's Online

Recent Visitors

System Info