From Newsgroup: rec.arts.comics.creative

Original message: https://lists.eyrie.org/mailman3/hyperkitty/list/racc@lists.eyrie.org/message/OQA3E2LHCKMPIP77Z5XNCEDGMN5WS777/
On Sun, Jun 1, 2025 at 4:51rC>PM Arthur Spitzer <arspitzer2@gmail.com> wrote: <snip>

Is it time to see what the future looks like in
in human entrails?! And is it time to meet Death
and then be slightly disappointed that it's not a
goth chick?!!!

*sigh* Man... *looks off into the distance*

But the noise is suddenly gone. Could it be? This is marvellous! It seems they must have *all* died, before we even got started! Well, this Netromancer fellow has done my job for me; and, he can't be much, as I'm still sitting here.

X3

I put the sixteenth screwdriver back on the table,... and miss.
Perhaps it wasn't the noise fogging my brain,... But, wait,... The
table's missing! And, all the chairs, and,... I pass my cane over the floor--nothing within five feet of me except my own chair. Perhaps it
wasn't *they* who vanished, but *me*.

Ooooooh yes. Good stuff.

We don't seem to be reaching the proper rapport. I try some small
talk. "Do you know that I can see the future in human entrails? Would
you like to see?"

"Universal-Office-room-8-don't-hurt-me."

heeheehee

I let him go and he scampers into the distance. And now, two things occur to me. The first is, I really don't know who that person is. He
could have been lying to me, in order to escape. Or, he could have lied
to me, to protect the Netromancer from what even he knows must be his
fate: watching his own heart beat before his face after I rip it from
his cowardly hide.

Hey! Sheol! That could have been the Netromancer himself!

X3 Need some practice at this Batman thing

The other thing that occurs to me is that I've no idea where room 53
is. In fact, I've no idea where I am right now.

*sad trombone*

Darkness. Silence. Total sensory deprivation. Elric floated in a world devoid of feeling.
"Wow. This is a world devoid of feeling," said Elric. "I wonder what's going on."

X3

"Say what?!? Who're you?" said Elric desperately.
"Look," said Elric. "I did not say that desperately; I said that
in a calm, collected manner."
NO, YOU SAID THAT DESPERATELY. I AM DEATH, said Death.
"No you're not. Death is a girl, 'bout this tall, in serious need
of a suntan," said Elric. And you did so say it desperately.

X3 X3 X3

I FOLLOWED THE LIBRARIAN.
Suddenly, several people appeared before Elric. They seemed
dressed as police officers, but their badges read "TM."
POLICE: Halt! You're under arrest!
"Who are you?" asked Elric.
POLICE: We are the copyright police! The NTB as gone over the limit of Discworld references. You have the right to remain silent...

Finally! What took you so long? ...er, ACAB and all that >.> <.<

"Hey, I didn't do it! It was the narrator," lied Elric. "And I am
not lying! Besides, how can you arrest us for mooching off other sources? After all, the narrator got the idea of you guys from some old X-Men comic." No, I didn't.
"Yes, you did."
YES, YOU DID.

heeheehehee

POLICE: Well, do them later. And Elric, you better get cracking on your story. You DO have three homework assignments that you need to get to. Now come along, Mr. Narrator.
No! No, I'm innocent I tell you! It was all Elric's idea! I'm just a narrator, I don't know what's going on! HELP!!!

X3

"Hey, did you know there's a _Brady Bunch_ marathon on Cable?" I asked as my runecoat swirled around me. "And _Star Trek_ is on in half an hour."
"_Star Trek_?" whispered the receptionist. "I'm missing _Star Trek_?"
"And _Gilligan's Island_ is on right after that." _Stormbringer_
was weaving its magical spell. Already the receptionist's eyes were
glazing over. "And hey! Aren't you missing the soap operas?"
"TV... must watch TV..."

What an interesting power. X> Also it's fascinating to hear TOS put on
the level of goofy sitcoms.

"Hello. Welcome to the outer pre-screening registration desk. May
I please have your name?"
What could it hurt? "Elric of Monjebone."

DUDE DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HOW MAGIC WORKS D:

Hurm. Looks like _Stormbringer_ time. "Hey, they're showing _Loony Toons_ right now..."
The man smiled at me. "Nice try, Elric, but paperwork is our life. Your coat only works on those who are bored with whatever they are doing."

Ahhhhh, I see, I see

I smiled. "Not all of them, gentlemen. You see, I have another
power. One that I have little control over, and which does more harm than good, though I think it will work just fine in this case."
"Oh yeah? And what's that?" snarled the man. All bad guys snarled now, it seemed.
"Well," I said, "When I first received the coat, I found that my
room at become a manifestation of Chaos. Papers were scattered all over
the place, and no matter how I tried to straighten things up, it kept
getting worse. I could never find anything in my room." They looked at me fearfully as they understood my plan. "Yes, gentlemen. While this ...
`power' has proved to be a great nuisance, here, I believe, it will be of great use."

Niiiiiice. That actually fits really well with what's in his original
roster entry. *edit wiki edit edit*

Imminent death, it seemed, always stalked the NTB. God, it
was good to be back.

n.n Woo!
Drew "agreeing with that sentiment" Nilium
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