From Newsgroup: alt.law-enforcement

from https://www.wweek.com/culture/2025/12/14/dog-bites-man-but-the-dog-was-in-portland-and-the-man-was-david-sedaris-who-is-making-it-everyones-problem/

Dog Bites Man, but the Dog Was in Portland, and the Man Was David
Sedaris, Who Is Making It EveryonerCOs Problem
In an essay for The New Yorker, the humorist argues that PortlandrCys drug problem is out of control, or that our dogs are, or that dogs in general
are. Or something.
By Christen McCurdy
December 14, 2025 9:48PM PST

David Sedaris in 2018. (Harald Krichel)
IrCOm old enough to remember when the national media loved Portland, or at least found us adorable, worthy of fawning pieces about food carts and a zeitgeisty-but-mid sketch comedy series. IrCOm also old enough to remember when the national media started hating us, because that was just a few
years ago. But the hits keep coming.

The latest person to inform a national audience that things in Portland
may be getting out of hand is David Sedaris, the humorist known for
frequent contributions to NPRrCOs This American Life and books like
Holidays on Ice, a delightful collection of holiday-themed essays. The
first of those essays, about holding down a crappy retail job while
nursing delusions of grandeur that onerCOs big break is just around the corner, will always hold a piece of my heart. The humorist was last in
town Nov. 17 for an evening at the Schnitz of readings, recollections,
and a book signing for his latest tome, Happy-Go-Lucky. Shortly
thereafter, the writer published an essay in the decidedly left-leaning
New Yorker about getting bitten by a dog on the streets of downtown
Portland.

While the essay posted Dec. 8, itrCOs gotten traction on social media in
more recent days, though, presumably because it touches a nerve with Portlanders, who are a little bit sensitive about our city lately, what
with all the war-zone talk from the reality TV star who now runs the
country. Also, the dog who bit him apparently belonged to some people
who were smoking fentanyl on the streets of downtown Portland.


Public drug use is another fraught topic here, of course; Sedaris
mentions OregonrCOs decriminalization and recriminalization of drug
possession in 2020 and 2024, respectively, but fails to note that public
drug use is not legal here and also wasnrCOt when decriminalization was
the law of the land. (In fairness, nobody else with an opinion on
Portland These Days seems to know this, either.)

After herCOs bitten, Sedaris confronts the group of people who seem to be responsible for the errant dog. He threatens to call the cops but
apparently does not, and the people responsible for the dog seem
unbothered. Per his description, theyrCOre too busy smoking fentanyl. He
also refuses to be seen at an ER, apparently out of spite: rCLThe thought
that their day would proceed uninterrupted while mine would be spent in
what I imagined would be a very sad and busy hospital was more than I
could bear. And so I returned to my hotel room deciding I would rather
die.rCY Sedaris does not detail the severity of his injury, though he does mention a visit to a local pharmacy.

In recent years, Sedaris has on occasion come across as tedious and
cranky rather than funny and perceptive. In a 2020 segment for CBS This Morning, he proposed a rCLcitizenrCOs dismissalrCYrCobasically, a concept akin to the citizenrCOs arrest, wherein anyone could fire anyone who gave them
bad service. It was meant as a joke, but came across as both out of
touch and badly timed, dropping as it did at a moment when service
workers were burdened with a far heavier heap of shit than usual.

As for his most recent trial, the last section of SedarisrCO essay bemoans
the fact that nobody seems to see what an injustice herCOs suffered. ItrCOs hard to say whether herCOs actually outraged or poking fun at his own indignation. ItrCOs unclear if he thinks the problem is drug users or
dogs, and whether the fault lies with Portland or society as a whole.
(Several other dog bite incidents that involved people he knew are
described. He doesnrCOt say where they happened or whether the dogsrCO
owners were on drugs, though in my observation, crappy, entitled dog
owners exist at all social strata.) ItrCOs also hard to know what he
thinks should have happened to the dog who bit him or its owners,
especially given his refusal to do anything about it.

A bit of additional factual context and a PSA: Oregon state law requires
that authorities (in Portland, this would be Multnomah County Animal
Services) investigate all animal bites, and that animals known to have
bitten somebody be quarantined for 10 days. Owners of aggressive animals
can be fined up to $500 and the animals themselves can be euthanized if authorities decide itrCOs warranted. Whether you sic authorities on an aggressive animal is up to you, but if yourCOre bitten by a dog, for the
love of whatever you believe is holy, get the wound checked out. People
can and do contract and die of rabies, and while a staph infection is a
more likely result of a dog bite, you donrCOt want either one.

You can read SedarisrCO essay here.

Christen McCurdy
Christen McCurdy
|
cmccurdy@wweek.comOpens in new window
Christen McCurdy is the interim associate arts & culture editor at
Willamette Week. SherCOs held staff jobs at Oregon Business, The Skanner
and OntariorCOs Argus Observer, and freelanced for a host of outlets, including Street Roots, The Oregonian and Bitch Media. At least 20% of
her verbal output is Simpsons quotes from the rCy90s.
--- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2