From Newsgroup: alt.arts.poetry.comments

HarryLime wrote:

HarryLime wrote:

HarryLime wrote:
DirtNap Dave:

Originally known as "Brother Dave," he acquired the name "DirtNap" after Stinky George sent him to an early grave.

Stinky George was a friend of Will's who had recently been evicted from the trailer he was renting. Will Donkey solicited for donations at A.A.P.C. and was sent $50 by one of the group's members.

When the money arrived, rather than passing it on to Stinky George, Will texted Stinky on his Obama phone and invited him out to steak dinner, along with Brother Dave. When Stinky found out that the $50 had been intended for him, he flipped out and attacked the Donkey Brothers with a metal rod.

Brother Dave (being smaller) received the worst of the assault, having been repeatedly bashed in the head.

He never fully recovered, and died two years later.*

*There is some evidence, however, that Will Donkey may have contributed to DirtNap Dave's demise, as Will (who was living off of Dave's Disability check) would stick a lit cigarette in his invalided brother's mouth every 15 minutes or so.

Another popular bit of folklore involving Brother Dave concerns his funeral service.

Rather than go the traditional route, the Donkey family opted to perform the ceremony themselves.

Brother Dave was cremated (hopefully at an actual crematorium) and his ashes placed in an empty mayonnaise jar. The Donkey clan then gathered on a mountaintop, took turns speaking with a microphone about Brother Dave, then tossed his ashes off into the wind.

According to the folklore Clay Dockery dropped the mayonnaise jar, spilling the ashes all over the parking lot in the park where the mountaintop was automobile accessible, and quickly scooped up a jarful of dirt to take its place.

Ellen Horny filmed the event on her ever-present Obama-phone, and Ducky Mallard captured the highlights via photographs, copies of which he offered online for $10 a pop.

In what is perhaps the most interesting twist on the tale, Sarah Donkeytits opened a GoFundMe account seeking donations for Brother Dave's funeral. Since the Donkeys performed the funeral services themselves, one wonders what became of the money that she raised.

The following image depicts the late night attack on the Donkey Brothers by a "blackout drunk" Stinky George.

Here's what Will Dockery wrote:

"A person [George Sulzbach] came up on me with a metal bar of some kind, and smashed me on the back with it, connecting with my elbow, sending sparks of pain through my arm. I turned and shoved him, and he tumbled to the ground, then scuttled into the shadows.

"My Brother Dave came charging up at him with a rake, and the maniac [George Sulzbach] jumped out of the shadows and clocked him right in the forehead with that metal pipe.

"Bip, put a pretty good smash to his forehead, causing some bleeding.

"The man [George Sulzbach] ran into his trailer and locked the door, and, with daylight about an hour in the future, me and my brother just left, to clean his wound and get some sleep..."

If one believes Will Donkey's eye-witness account, this piece of folklore is based entirely on a real life event.


This response appears in the discussion at: http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=709192247#709192247
--
Via JLA Forums web gateway for alt.arts.poetry.comments: http://www.jlaforums.com/viewforum.php?f=655
--- Synchronet 3.22a-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: alt.arts.poetry.comments

HarryLime wrote:

HarryLime wrote:

HarryLime wrote:

HarryLime wrote:
DirtNap Dave:

Originally known as "Brother Dave," he acquired the name "DirtNap"
after Stinky George sent him to an early grave.

Stinky George was a friend of Will's who had recently been evicted
from the trailer he was renting.-a Will Donkey solicited for
donations at A.A.P.C. and was sent $50 by one of the group's members.

When the money arrived, rather than passing it on to Stinky George,
Will texted Stinky on his Obama phone and invited him out to steak
dinner, along with Brother Dave.-a When Stinky found out that the $50 >>>> had been intended for him, he flipped out and attacked the Donkey
Brothers with a metal rod.

Brother Dave (being smaller) received the worst of the assault,
having been repeatedly bashed in the head.

He never fully recovered, and died two years later.*

*There is some evidence, however, that Will Donkey may have
contributed to DirtNap Dave's demise, as Will (who was living off of
Dave's Disability check) would stick a lit cigarette in his
invalided brother's mouth every 15 minutes or so.

Another popular bit of folklore involving Brother Dave concerns his
funeral service.

Rather than go the traditional route, the Donkey family opted to
perform the ceremony themselves.

Brother Dave was cremated (hopefully at an actual crematorium) and
his ashes placed in an empty mayonnaise jar.-a The Donkey clan then
gathered on a mountaintop, took turns speaking with a microphone
about Brother Dave, then tossed his ashes off into the wind.

According to the folklore Clay Dockery dropped the mayonnaise jar,
spilling the ashes all over the parking lot in the park where the
mountaintop was automobile accessible, and quickly scooped up a
jarful of dirt to take its place.

Ellen Horny filmed the event on her ever-present Obama-phone, and
Ducky Mallard captured the highlights via photographs, copies of
which he offered online for $10 a pop.

In what is perhaps the most interesting twist on the tale, Sarah
Donkeytits opened a GoFundMe account seeking donations for Brother
Dave's funeral.-a Since the Donkeys performed the funeral services
themselves, one wonders what became of the money that she raised.

The following image depicts the late night attack on the Donkey
Brothers by a "blackout drunk" Stinky George.

Here's what Will Dockery wrote:

"A person [George Sulzbach] came up on me with a metal bar of some kind,
and smashed me on the back with it, connecting with my elbow, sending
sparks of pain through my arm. I turned and shoved him, and he tumbled
to the ground, then scuttled into the shadows.

"My Brother Dave came charging up at him with a rake, and the maniac
[George Sulzbach] jumped out of the shadows and clocked him right in the forehead with that metal pipe.

"Bip, put a pretty good smash to his forehead, causing some bleeding.

"The man [George Sulzbach] ran into his trailer and locked the door,
and, with daylight about an hour in the future, me and my brother just
left, to clean his wound and get some sleep..."

If one believes Will Donkey's eye-witness account, this piece of
folklore is based entirely on a real life event.

Sounds like yet another person that wanted the Donkey to take a dirt nap.
--- Synchronet 3.22a-Linux NewsLink 1.2