• Re: A.A.P.C. FOLKLORE, Part Thirteen

    From michaelmaleficapendragon@michaelmaleficapendragon@gmail-dot-com.no-spam.invalid (HarryLime) to alt.arts.poetry.comments on Wed Aug 12 09:30:04 2026
    From Newsgroup: alt.arts.poetry.comments

    NancyGene wrote:

    HarryLime wrote:

    NancyGene wrote:

    HarryLime wrote:

    NancyGene wrote:

    HarryLime wrote:

    HarryLime wrote:
    CLAY DONKEY.

    Clay is the eldest of Will's three children (two with his late wife, Lady K, and a third that he doesn't talk about).

    Clay is a professional cosplayer, who frequents Brony conventions. >>>>>>>
    He's also a Homose*ual -- although Will Donkey refuses to admit it. >>>>>>>
    In this image, he is sitting in front of his computer screen with his imaginary family, waiting (in vain) for Michael Pendragon to apologize to him.



    Will Donkey has written several poems about Clay over the years. This is the earliest known example:

    Big Fat f***in' Epiphany

    I had an epiphany yesterday
    I realized that Clay is gay
    He plays dress up as Princess Lei-
    Around the village every day
    You'll see him prance and swish and sway
    But I still love him anyway.

    I had an epiphany last night, by heck
    That I'm a bum whose life's a total wreck
    I mooch off my brother's disability check
    I've got six chins beneath my neck
    But no one ever would suspeck
    Because they're hid beneath my beard.

    I have to say it's really weird
    To see yourself as others do.
    My wife and kids done left me, too
    I guess they saw the way I see
    Myself with this epiphany.

    So I can't write and I can't sing
    And I can't fight Jim in a ring
    Not even for some charity.
    I'm just a Fat f**k in a tent
    Whose "poetry" ain't worth a cent
    Who never bathes or pays his rent
    And stinks like beer and pee.

    And just in case you haven't guessed
    This Fat f**k bum who's such a mess
    I'll here confess that it is me
    Willie "Douchebag" Dockery.


    Poor Clay, born, raised and living as a Dockery. He changed his first name to "Lay," but that didn't help, other than in meeting temporary friends.



    Another piece of folklore that rose up around stories of Will Donkey's homophobic issues regarding his son, is that when a young Clay first started to show Homose*ual tendencies, Will Donkey undertook extreme measures to ensure that it would never come to pass.

    The following image appears to combine the above-related incident, with Will's famous swizzle stick photos with the Dark Queen.


    True, but Clay's friends always knew that he appreciated a new butt plug for Christmas and his birthday. Prancing wears out the accessory fairly quickly.


    Despite Will's discomfort regarding Clay's gender identity, he did his best to raise him in the Donkey family traditions.

    Here's an image of him teaching young Clay how to poop in a hole.


    It's not an instinct like cats have to cover up their poop or poop in a litter box? We assume that the rules for daycare in Shitholeville are 2 and poop-hole trained?




    Outside of the pissbum camp on RiverWalk, the residents of Columbus mostly use outhouses -- and a few even have indoor plumbing.

    The strangeness of Will Donkey's bathroom habits can be seen in the following excerpt from an interview he once did for the local fish wrap magazine:

    INTERVIEWER: I suppose you don't just hold it?
    WILL DOCKERY: No. I let it out just like everybody else does.
    INTERVIEWER: How?
    WILL DOCKERY: Well, to pee, you just go out back and pee.
    INTERVIEWER: How about to poop?
    WILL DOCKERY: For that, you dig a hole. Then you poop into the hole and cover it up.


    This response appears in the discussion at: http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=709197174#709197174
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  • From nancygene.andjayme@nancygene.andjayme@gmail-dot-com.no-spam.invalid (NancyGene) to alt.arts.poetry.comments on Wed Aug 12 12:25:11 2026
    From Newsgroup: alt.arts.poetry.comments

    HarryLime wrote:

    NancyGene wrote:

    HarryLime wrote:

    NancyGene wrote:

    HarryLime wrote:

    NancyGene wrote:

    HarryLime wrote:

    HarryLime wrote:
    CLAY DONKEY.

    Clay is the eldest of Will's three children (two with his late wife, Lady K, and a third that he doesn't talk about).

    Clay is a professional cosplayer, who frequents Brony conventions. >>>>>>>>
    He's also a Homose*ual -- although Will Donkey refuses to admit it. >>>>>>>>
    In this image, he is sitting in front of his computer screen with his imaginary family, waiting (in vain) for Michael Pendragon to apologize to him.



    Will Donkey has written several poems about Clay over the years. This is the earliest known example:

    Big Fat f***in' Epiphany

    I had an epiphany yesterday
    I realized that Clay is gay
    He plays dress up as Princess Lei-
    Around the village every day
    You'll see him prance and swish and sway
    But I still love him anyway.

    I had an epiphany last night, by heck
    That I'm a bum whose life's a total wreck
    I mooch off my brother's disability check
    I've got six chins beneath my neck
    But no one ever would suspeck
    Because they're hid beneath my beard.

    I have to say it's really weird
    To see yourself as others do.
    My wife and kids done left me, too
    I guess they saw the way I see
    Myself with this epiphany.

    So I can't write and I can't sing
    And I can't fight Jim in a ring
    Not even for some charity.
    I'm just a Fat f**k in a tent
    Whose "poetry" ain't worth a cent
    Who never bathes or pays his rent
    And stinks like beer and pee.

    And just in case you haven't guessed
    This Fat f**k bum who's such a mess
    I'll here confess that it is me
    Willie "Douchebag" Dockery.


    Poor Clay, born, raised and living as a Dockery. He changed his first name to "Lay," but that didn't help, other than in meeting temporary friends.



    Another piece of folklore that rose up around stories of Will Donkey's homophobic issues regarding his son, is that when a young Clay first started to show Homose*ual tendencies, Will Donkey undertook extreme measures to ensure that it would never come to pass.

    The following image appears to combine the above-related incident, with Will's famous swizzle stick photos with the Dark Queen.


    True, but Clay's friends always knew that he appreciated a new butt plug for Christmas and his birthday. Prancing wears out the accessory fairly quickly.


    Despite Will's discomfort regarding Clay's gender identity, he did his best to raise him in the Donkey family traditions.

    Here's an image of him teaching young Clay how to poop in a hole.


    It's not an instinct like cats have to cover up their poop or poop in a litter box? We assume that the rules for daycare in Shitholeville are 2 and poop-hole trained?



    Outside of the pissbum camp on RiverWalk, the residents of Columbus mostly use outhouses -- and a few even have indoor plumbing.

    The strangeness of Will Donkey's bathroom habits can be seen in the following excerpt from an interview he once did for the local fish wrap magazine:

    INTERVIEWER: I suppose you don't just hold it?
    WILL DOCKERY: No. I let it out just like everybody else does. INTERVIEWER: How?
    WILL DOCKERY: Well, to pee, you just go out back and pee.
    INTERVIEWER: How about to poop?
    WILL DOCKERY: For that, you dig a hole. Then you poop into the hole and cover it up.



    Did someone have to teach Will Donkey whether the poop goes IN the hole or OUTSIDE the hole?


    This response appears in the discussion at: http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=709197174#709197174
    --
    Via JLA Forums web gateway for alt.arts.poetry.comments: http://www.jlaforums.com/viewforum.php?f=655
    --- Synchronet 3.22a-Linux NewsLink 1.2