The following article was originally published in the science magazine
OMNI. It is reproduced here exactly as it appeared in its original form,
without so much as a misplaced comma, period, or question mark.
From "OMNI"--December 1990
THE ALIEN ALMANAC: THE PEOPLES FIRST UFO LEXICON FOR THE NINETIES
by Dennis Stacy
The field of UFOlogy has changed drastically over the past 20 years--
and so has the language used to describe extraterrestrials, UFO witnesses,
and alien ships. In the Forties and Fifties UFO buffs described their
observations of mysterious objects in the night sky, bandying such terms
as FLYING SAUCER and LITTLE GREEN MEN with aplomb. In the Sixties these
UFO stories, recorded by the Air Force in its notorious Project Blue Book,
became legion around the world. Finally, in the Seventies, UFO advocates
got into the physicality of the phenomenon, reporting "nocturnal lights,"
"daylight discs," and even electronic blips racing across radar screens.
Seventies UFO fans also referred to "close encounters," including the
consciousness-raising "close encounters of the third kind," in which humans
and aliens meet.
But UFOlogy has gone through a radical change, and in the Nineties the
terms of the past are largely obsolete. During the past decade, for
instance, literally thousands of people have come forward to say they've
been kidnapped, or "abducted," by short, large headed, thin-lipped entities
with saucer eyes. Yet others report weird "crop circles," mutilated cattle,
and frightening "men-in-black." If you've fallen behind the times, you can
now catch up with the UFO lexicon below.
ABDUCTIONS: Occur whenever a human speciamn is taken aboard a UFO against
his or her will. Those reporting the experience are reffered
to as 'abductees.'
ANIMAL MUTILATIONS: Typically refers to surgically mutilated cattle
carcasses found primarily throughout the American West
and Southwest. Horses, pigs, cats, and other animals
may also be attacked. Soft external tissues like the
eyes, lips, and sexual organs may be excised with
almost laserlike precision. Internal organs and tissue
like the heart and, on occasion, fetuses may be removed
as well. The animal carcass is frequently found in a
remote area, devoid of blood, after hovering lights have
been seen above. Many law-enforcement agencies
attribute animal mutilations to wild animals or satanic
cult activities, though few arrests in that context have
ever been made.
CONTACTEES: Unlike the abductees, contactees have reported almost
universally benevolent experiences. Commonly, the Aryan-looking
aliens they report warn against nuclear war and pollution and
criticize man's materialistic ways.
COSMIC WATERGATE: New Brunswick nuclear physicist Stanton Friedman may not
have coined the phrase 'cosmic watergate,' but he claims
to have used it more often than any living UFOlogist.
First used in the wake of the Republican break-in at
Democratic headquarters in the Watergate complex,
Washington, DC, the term refers to an alleged government
cover-up of aliens and UFOs.
CRASHED SAUCERS: According to rumor, several crashed flying discs were
recovered and secreted away by the military authorities
over the years. Some UFOlogists claim that alien bodies
have been retrieved as well.
CROP CIRCLES: Strange swirled cirlces in Britain's breadbasket first
appeared in significant numbers during the summer of 1980.
Last year alone more than 500 such circles surfaced, many
showing a growing complexity of evolution in terms of
patterns and display. Explananations range from the
meteorological to the supernatural.
GRAYS: So-called because of their pallid, dolphinlike skin and complexion.
The most commonly reported alien humanoid entities, Grays are
typically described as dwarfish in stature with oversized, fetuslike
heads; large, slanted black eyes; and scrawny limbs.
HYPNOTIC REGRESSION: The process by which UFOlogists hypnotize abductees
to help them recall details of the core abduction
experience.
IMPLANTS: Tiny, BB-shaped monitoring devices inserted during the standard
abduction and subsequent physical examination of humans by alien
beings. Usually inserted through the nasal passages and other
obscure orifices of the victim, implants have reportedly been
lodged in the brains of some abuctees and, in at least one
instance, in the penis.
MEN IN BLACK: Long a staple of the dark side of UFO lore, the notorious MIB
first surfaced in "They Knew Too Much About Flying Saucers," a
1956 book by the late UFO entrepreneur Gray Barker. Posing as
governemt agents, Men In Black suddenly appear on a UFO
witness' doorstep, demanding photographic negatives or other
UFO evidence while warning the witness to keep quiet about
what he may have seen. MIB typically appear in pairs or
threes and dress in conservative dark suits. They typically
drive black Cadillacs or some other large, dark-colored
American sedan.
MISSING TIME: An episode of amnesia reported in association with a UFO
abduction or close encounter. Such gaps in awareness commonly
surface in a piecemeal fashion, most vividly as a result of
hypnotic regression.
NORDS: The second most prominant type of UFO occupant reported after the
diminutive Grays. The nordic aliens--or Nords, for short--
customarily resemble human beings of Scandinavian descent. They have
blue eyes and blonde hair and, unlike the malevolent Grays, are
generally percieved as neutral or benevolent.
TECTONIC STRAIN: The earth's surface is made up of several large, floating
plates constantly colliding in slow motion with one
another. The result: active tectonic strain released as
earthquakes and volcanic activity. Some researchers have
suggested that geomagnetic fields produced by the tectonic
strain create the strange lights sometimes interpreted
as UFOs. Under certain circumstances, theory has it, the
geomagnetic fields could directly affect the human nervous
system, intiating visual, auditory, and spatial
hallucinations that might be interpreted as an interaction
with UFOs and their occupants.
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