Experience description:

The experience that I had happened in 1986.

During about two years I was practicing daily the autogenic training of Schultz for relaxation. These rather short relaxations of about 15 minutes brought me an advantage of calm and I felt very good with it.



At the same time I often wondered about the need of having a spiritual life, but I couldn't find an answer, neither in religions nor in the new age philosophies.



During some of the relaxations I discovered that, when focusing my thought very strongly I was able to slightly affect the person on which I was concentrating, in easing to relieve or help them to calm down. I was doing this sometimes and found this 'power' extremely dangerous for my ego, as I easily could have considered myself a guru or something the like. Therefore I vaguely felt the need for a code of conduct, of an indisputable spirituality to surround this troublesome talent. But this was not an obsession, as for most of the time I used my relaxation as a kind of mental and physical hygiene. And I only rarely used this slight power, generally at the demand of somebody in trouble or fear.



One day, not very long after the start of the meditation, I felt like being taken away. At the very beginning it was kind of violent like a strong storm. As if I was in command of a ship in a storm. A huge force was pushing this ship towards I don't know where, and I was leading my ship like on a sailboats helm to avoid a wreck. There have been kinds of howling as the wind might produce them. But I succeeded to resist to all this and the meditation wasn't any longer as usual. I was thinking about some kind of accident of relaxation, similar to the bad trip that drug addicts are describing.



Next day same thing, relaxing, storm, mastering, relaxation not really efficient as I felt a bit tired towards the end. On the following days during each relaxation I was snapped by this storm and I had a vague impression being on the pacific ocean and that the wind was blowing me towards Chile. I never understood why towards Chile! After four days I wondered if I should continue with the meditations, but in telling myself that finally as these events had no bad influence on my daily life - the rest of time I remained the same me - I would continue a bit longer to see.



I think that on the fifth or sixth day I was thrown with my ship towards a slightly dark landscape with dunes. Behind one of the dunes there was an intense but not blinding light. I went a bit closer and very fast I sensed that if I would walk over to this light, I would be grilled like an insect. This light , masked by the hill was of an extraordinary intensity, more soft and powerful than anything I can express. There was a radiation of love, but not a comely or soppy love. But love as a power, love as a powerful energy. Powerful is not the right word, but there is no word for this energy.



I knew that I was in front of what humans wrongly call God, as this power is indifferent.

It is. That's all.



I understood that for me it was not the moment to approach it as I wasn't ready.



I understood that there was also a negative power which existed like the positive power, and that we as humans could also use it with the risk of being destroyed by it. I understood that some are choosing that side but I don't know what is happening to them afterwards. I understood that in order to fight the negative you simply have to invoke the positive power and to do this you can use the means that you have: you can call it God, or differently, pray to or call on it, the main thing is to address this force and to concentrate upon. I understood that if we were evolved enough we could approach this source of love and power, according to our degree of evolution. And that we had as many lives (on earth or elsewhere) as needed to evolve.



I was hearing a sound of one single note resounding at the top of my head or above it.



I felt good but I felt that I shouldn't stay there. And like the other times, I came back to reality.



All this happened during about ten minutes similar to my usual relaxations.



Subsequently I continued with my relaxations for several years but without ever experiencing such a kind of experience. I never forgot those moments, they are part of myself. As of this moment I didn't have any fear of death anymore, nor of life. In fact I have never again been the same person.



And at the passing of my father in 1993 I sensed that he too was going somewhere else, those days have been rather happy, as my father wanted to die and he died softly while drinking a tea with my mother.



I wish everybody would have such an experience.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event? No

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I'm lacking the words to describe the intensity or the way how information came to me. It was instantly.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? All the time during all the days while this happened.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness I understood things without thinking about, as if comprehension was entering in me.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't remember as vision wasn't important, because information arrived through other channels.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Same. The note that I heard was at the same time in me and above me. I have no words.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?
No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I was curious and happy to discover all this.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes A light energy of an indescribable power.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
The power of love radiating from this whole landscape is supernatural. I had the clear impression of being in another world.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
There was no notion of time at all.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others
I got the revelation that the stories that are told of God are stemming from this indescribable love und just because it's indescribable, those experiencing them had them translated into stories that are understandable for all. But this didn't give me faith in God, rather the certitude that there is a power of love in the universe, like a positive pole.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life
I clearly felt that I entered a place where I shouldn't have been and that I had to stay discreet, to look, to understand and to return. I had the sensation that my existence, not my life: my existence was in danger.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life ("life after death")? Yes The fact that there is a world that I shouldn't have accessed at that moment brought up the idea that after death one could have access to.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist? Uncertain
It's not a supreme being, but a positive power which is able to burn down everything, but without personification. It's not a being, and this power is simply there, you can reach it if you are looking for, or if you want it. There is no notion of punishment nor reward. You can take from this power, you can try to direct this power towards a goal, but it's not acting. It's just there.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime? No

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist? Uncertain The notion of a mystical unity doesn't suit me. Of course I believe that I understood that you have to make efforts on yourself to improve yourself, but what you call a mystical unity refers too much to religious chatter. As an example several religions evoke a single God. But for me it's the source that is unique.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life's meaning or purpose? Yes In one moment I understood that in order not to risk being disintegrated by this source of energy, you have to be as pure as possible. And so you have to struggle your whole life with yourself to be as minimally selfish as possible.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life's difficulties, challenges, or hardships? Yes In one moment I understood that the human journey is to improve from life to life.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love? Yes Obviously, being confronted with the source of absolute neutral love and a superhuman energy is clearly modifying the conception of love. There is a kind of channel between the source of love and the subject being loved. I'm not talking about romantic feelings which are of a different kind.

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives? Yes When the experience was over I was living with the certitude of having a kind of guardian angel who is helping me...or not...who has plenty of humor or is totally absent.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose? Yes It's the entirety of what I understood in one moment when I was in this landscape, which constitutes a special knowledge.

What occurred during your experience included: Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I believed more or less at life after death, I felt a need to believe in something, but nothing in the religions brought me an answer. Since, I don't believe in much and above all in nothing religious, but I'm totally serene. I'm not scared of dying, no fear of death for my loved ones, but of course I wish each of them a serene death. Like it happened to my father who died while drinking tea with my mother, years after this experience.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of th This experience is absolutely clear in my memory while I forgot most of the not very interesting events of that time.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience: Before this experience I was a person. I was a young woman slightly in doubt like many young women.

Afterwards I suddenly became another person. A person being here and also not here. A person without real anguish, without fear, sure that nothing really serious can happen.

My experience directly resulted in: Slight changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience? Yes This experience eliminated anguish and fear completely of my life.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I can feel pain or suffering in those that I meet, I can concentrate on this pain to relieve it, it's working, or not. I don't look to establish performances in this field, if it can be helpful it's okay. That's all. I already had this a bit before this experience but for me it's part of the same process.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The light, it's power, it's intensity and it's dangerousness was deeply overwhelming. It's my understanding that if you approach it without being able to pass the test you will come out broken. This could possibly explain mental diseases.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes About six months, I told a friend from university who got excited by this story, but this was annoying me so I lost touch with him.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened: Experience was definitely real As the experience developed for almost one week, every day, I cannot think at a dream, a hallucination or else.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time: Experience was definitely real I never changed my mind about this experience: it existed. That's all.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?
No

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? No

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?
It's the best thing that ever happened to me.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Uncertain In fact I see that it's complicated to describe the whole of it.

Clarke,
telnet://ricksbbs.synchro.net:23
http://ricksbbs.synchro.net:8080
---
þ Synchronet þ Rick's BBS telnet://ricksbbs.synchro.net:23