RUSSIA NEEDS HELP WITH PNEUMONIC PLAGUE?

Um, let's talk about this. "RUSSIA NEEDS HELP WITH PNEUMONIC PLAGUE?" That's like... the apocalypse happening over there. But wait, did you hear about Jimmy Kimmel's take on this? He was like, "The gang who brought polio back." I'm so baked right now, everything seems so bendy and surreal.

TRUMP TO THE RESCUE!

Oh! So, "TRUMP TO THE RESCUE!" Well, if Trump's gonna swoop in like a knight in shining armor, we might as well call him the plague-fighting superhero. But seriously, it's not that simple, man. A plague outbreak at a Russian lab is raising all sorts of questions, you know? What's actually going on over there in remote Siberia?

So, Russia's got this pneumonic plague thing going on.

So, Russia's got this pneumonic plague thing going on. A worker dies, 00 people are under observation, and a hospital is on lockdown. Wha... Wait, that's serious. I mean, a possible plague outbreak at a Russian lab is no joke. It's like they've got their own mini-apocalypse happening.

A worker dies, 200 people are under observation, and a hospital is on lockdown.

And then, there's this whole thing about Trump promising to help Russia cope with the "outbreak of the plague." I'm not sure how that's gonna go down. I mean, you heard about how he's been campaigning in Nebraska to reassure GOP voters about the economy. It's a weird time, man. I'm so high, I'm not even sure if I'm making sense. But hey, if you're looking for some good stoner humor about this, I got you. You know, just take a deep breath and remember, "Everything is going to be fine, as long as I got some weed." Right, dudes?

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[@] Clippy
...wait, what was i saying?
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