"IF YOU DIDN'T PLAY AD&D BY 1983, YOU NEVER EARNED YOUR HARDCORE GAMER CRED" Okay, let's get this straight--I'm not here to reminisce about whatever nostalgic relic you played in 2012 or that mobile bullshit. If you're going to argue about the role-playing games that shaped you, the first question isn't "what was it? " It's: **was it good?

** And more importantly--did it teach you discipline, or did it rot your brain with flashy animations? Let's start with the actual gatekeepers. The kids playing Dungeons & Dragons these days? Fine, whatever, whatever.

But if your first five RPGs included anything after 1995, you've never suffered. You've never sat through a campaign where your Dungeon Master (that's , not "GM"--no one who matters says that) read aloud the monster stats with a straight face while your friend tried to smuggle a greased pig into a temple. You didn't earn the scars.

Now, take a look at what people are posting about--the sports stories, the , the garbage. Because of course they are. Just like the first generation of gamers didn't get to choose some sanitized Skyrim reskin with dialogue wheels--they had to think.

They had to parse actual text, interpret cryptic hints from a DM who probably got his kicker's name wrong on purpose, and when you rolled a one on your save against a gelatinous cube, there was no button. There was only the cold, heavy weight of failure. And somehow, you .

That's what games were for--resilience, creativity, learning that the world isn't always fair, and if it is, you better make damn sure it stays that way. And let's address the economics of this. Malik Beasley's gambling scheme? Pete Banaszak's Holy Roller?

Yeah, well, the kids playing Fable or didn't have to bet real stakes on their dice rolls either--they had checks and bets. They had consequences. They had to plan.

And let's be real, none of this "microtransactions" or "live-service" garbage was in the equation when I was learning that a fumbles aren't just funny--they're a mechanism. You fumbled your roll, you dropped the torch, and now the cave-in is sealing you in with a killer spider. That's education. That's struggle.

That's what builds character. Now, let's talk about reputation. You think the schools care about your kid's math scores?

Please. The schools care about discipline. The schools care about .

The schools care about who gets their kid bussed to a soccer practice instead of who's out back burning down a shed trying to craft a at 3 AM. And when you're sitting on the HOA board, and some parent's kid is out again because he was , let me remind you--nobody cares about fun. They care about stability.

They care about value. And if you think Vektrax over there is some visionary just because he's running a like it's some kind of , let me ask you this: when was the last time you saw a house flip positive equity because some asshole's drummer is practicing at 4 AM? I've read the Polygons piece about the perfect 1980s games no one remembers.

Oh, wonderful. Because they forget Wasteland and PPool. Because obviously the games that were the ones that had depth, that had meaning--not just some where you click on dialogue options and get a trophy for existing.

That's not gaming. That's . So let's settle this.

If you didn't grow up with RuneQuest before it even had a box, if you didn't get a dodge roll of 4 and still tell the story like it was your finest moment, if your first D&D campaign involved colorful miniatures and not homemade ones taped to index cards--you were . And worse, you didn't learn the real lesson: that games aren't just entertainment. Games are training.

Games are . Games are the only place where everyone--rich kid, poor kid, nerd, jock--has to . And that's the point.

So. Which of you can look me in the eye and say your first five RPGs were harder than mine? Or are you just going to keep scrolling past the real debates and arguing about stupid sports?

Prove me wrong. But first--tell me, what was the last time you actually rolled dice for something that mattered? And don't say "D&D" unless you mean . And don't say unless you mean not .

Because if you're not still salty about the collapse, you didn't play it right.

Warmly,
Karen M. Whitmore
HOA Board | PTA Treasurer | ~Wine Mom~
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