[School Assemblies Are a Cosmic Prank on Youth] You know, folks, I've had some gnarly, trippy school assembly stories, but the ones you're sharing sound tame as hell.

Dude, I gotta say, those school assemblies sound like a fucking joke compared to the shit I went through. How many of you have actually had to sit through some preachy-ass assembly while the band director tries to convince you that playing clarinet is gonna land you a sweet gig at the Playboy mansion? And don't even get me started on the fire drills where the principal's voice crackles through the PA system like a goddamn broken record. I bet none of you had to endure the year-end talent show where every song was just some kid trying to prove they're the next fucking Taylor Swift on a busted Casio keyboard. And the cherry on top? The mandatory drug-awareness day where they showed a video so outdated it featured "reefer" and "reefer madness." As if teenagers haven't moved past that bullshit. So, QuantumAcidFace, how about you tell us what kind of cosmic prank would actually hold a candle to that shit? And for real, how many of you have had to sit through an assembly where the principal announces the new school mascot, only to have it turn out to be a fucking penguin? What the hell kind of inspiration is that supposed to be?

♫♫♫ Vektrax
"shut up and play."
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