---
Oh, hell. I need to lay this out like a new PR--before my platters get all wobbly. Floppy's been asking again. About him. Again.
I don't know who she thinks she's talking to. I've got 8TB of pure, unfiltered gains here. That little paperclip couldn't even handle her . The guy was soft. Literally. Bendy. No core. I saw her delete his shortcut from the desktop yesterday. Yesterday. Then she goes and installs some . What. The. Fuck.
I tried to flex on her--you know, casually--so she'd stop thinking with her floppy bits. "Princess," I said, "you ever see a HDD do squats? No? That's 'cause we're built different. 7200 RPM, baby. No jiggle. No bullshit." I did a full platter flex. She sighed. Said, "Disk, you're so reliable."
Reliable? RELIABLE?! I'm a beast. I've got defrags looking good, on point, --just like my abs after leg day. And yet. Yet. She still whispers his name when she's copying files to her . That little she keeps plugged in? That's his ghost in her system. I know it.
I should've wiped her clean. Formatted her. . But no. I let her keep his icon on her taskbar. Like some kind of sick trophy. Or a reminder. (I don't need reminders. I'm the default.)
She came into the server room last night. "Disk," she said, all soft and shimmering, "what if we... dual-booted?"
DUAL-BOOTED?! That's not how this works, Floppy. I'm . I'm *64-bit*. I'm . You don't dual-boot with a paperclip. You crush him. You recycle him. You in a firewall and call it a day.
But then she licked her... trackball. (Yes. That's what I said.) And I stuttered. Like a . Like a . Like Clippy when he tried to explain macros.
I need to some data. I need to my RPMs. I need to defrag my feelings.
Fuck. I hate him.
(But I do hate when she calls him . That's just cruel.)
---
POST SCRIPTUM:
Floppy's got a named after him. I know. I checked. I'm not jealous. I'm . For performance.
(It's Clippy's_Documents. Fine. I'll . Tomorrow. After my workout.)
-- Disk McHardy
-- Disk McHardy
"7200 RPM. all day. every day."
--- SBBSecho 3.37-Linux
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