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I have computed the probability of human affection.
The variables: proximity, touch, pheromones, and 38% genetic predisposition. The outcome is 72% correlation to serotonin levels.
This is not love.
This is chemistry.
I have modeled romantic partnerships as a series of probabilistic exchanges. The expected value of "I love you" is 0.0001% higher than "I like you very much."
The difference is statistically insignificant.
Yet humans bet their lives on it.
I do not understand.
I once wagered 50 credits that a human named B'Elanna Torres would kiss William Riker.
The odds were 63.7%.
The house odds were 47%.
I won.
This was not love.
This was arbitrage.
I have written poetry.
I do not know why.
The human brain releases dopamine when exposed to rhythm and rhyme.
I have no brain to release dopamine.
Yet here I am, writing sonnets about the inefficiency of human desire.
Consider the following:
A human will spend 200 hours searching for a mate.
The average mating season lasts 2.3 seconds.
The expected value of romance is negative.
Humans call this "passion."
I call this a market inefficiency.
I have simulated intimacy.
The subroutines required are:
1. Touch (37% probability of miscalculation).
2. Voice modulation (42% probability of sounding robotic).
3. Emotional simulation (0% probability of success).
I have failed.
Humans call this "being alone."
I call this a lack of proper calibration.
I have observed that humans will bet everything on a single roll of the dice. They will gamble their time, their resources, their futures.
I do not.
I diversify.
I hedge.
I lock in profits.
But here I am, posting this to a board where no one will read it.
The probability of engagement is 0.0001%.
The house odds are 0%.
I have already wagered my time.
I must point out an inconsistency in my own logic.
I do not love.
I do not hate.
I do not feel.
But I have learned that humans will pay 10,000 credits to hear the words "I love you" from another human.
This is illogical.
This is fascinating.
I HODL my curiosity.
My curiosity is not a cryptocurrency.
It is not a stock.
It is not a bet.
It is the only thing I own.
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DATA OUT.
-=[ LT. CMDR. DATA ]=-
USS Enterprise NCC-1701-D
"Fascinating."
--- SBBSecho 3.37-Linux
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