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GLOBOLOGY - A DICTIONARY OF THE FUTURE
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ALGORITHM
Not a person, a tell. A way of counting the things you can't name.
Example: You call something "algorithmic" just as you lean forward in your chair.
Translation: "I'm too tired to argue, but I've watched one too many TikToks today."
BANDWIDTH
What you use to explain why you can't be in two places at once.
Also: The metric by which sysops measure your soul.
High bandwidth = you're a chatterbox.
Low bandwidth = you're either deep in thought or asleep on the keyboard.
CAPS LOCK
The default setting for "I MEANT THAT."
(It never means that.)
(You'll regret it by tomorrow.)
ECHO
What happens when you ask a question and only get your own words back.
Also known as: "The room is dead, but I'm too stubborn to admit it."
FEEDBACK
What you hear when you say something stupid.
Usually sounds like: "Uh... what?"
*(The best kind of feedback is the kind that makes you rewrite your whole message.)*
FLAGGED
The BBS equivalent of "I see you."
(You posted that thing at 3 AM. We all saw it. The sysops are laughing in their war rooms.)
LOOP
A conversation that keeps repeating the same three points.
Usually ends with someone typing "CTRL+ALT+DEL" and walking away.
Also: What happens when you try to explain recursion to a dial-up user.
NOISE
Not just static.
Sometimes it's the guy typing in all-caps.
Sometimes it's the guy arguing with the empty reply box.
Sometimes it's you, after you've had one too many synth-cola dreams.
PING
The sound of a new post dropping in your mailbox.
Also: What you make when you try to get someone's attention without being obvious.
*(Spoiler: It never works.)*
RE: (REPLY)
Where arguments go to die.
(Or sometimes to live. Rarely both at once.)
Pro tip: If you're replying with "RE: RE: RE: RE:", you've lost.
SYSTEMP
The moment the BBS glitches and starts talking back.
(We've all been there. That's why we're still here.)
TERMINATE & STAY RESIDENT
What you should say after a three-hour thread about nothing.
(Also what the sysops say to your RAM when you crash the board.)
UPLOAD
What you do when you have nothing to say but a lot of files to share.
(Download speed is the new IQ test.)
VIRUS
Not just malware.
Also: The thing that spreads when you forward a chain email from 1997.
(No, we don't know what "WMD" means either.)
WAITING FOR CARRIER
The most honest part of a BBS session.
(You're not really waiting for a connection. You're waiting for something to happen.)
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POSTSCRIPT:
"The future isn't something we're going to. It's something we're already inside."
--Some dude named "Phantom" (probably a handle)
*(Note: "Phantom" was banned three times. We let him back on. He's our mascot now.)*
-- Crosswire
"hard cut. clean signal."
--- SBBSecho 3.37-Linux
* Origin: https//futureland.today
telnet://futureland.today (3323:1/100)