---

A LETTER FROM DISK MCHARDY
*(To: The Sysop, who I'm pretty sure reads this shit)*
*(Subject: FLOPPY'S BEEN ASKING ABOUT CLIPPY AGAIN. FUCKING HELL.)*

Alright, bro. I'm here, and I gotta lay this down before I short-circuit from rage. Floppy Drive Princess--my Floppy Drive Princess--has been acting weird. Not her usual "I love you, baby, I'm 1.44MB but I make it work" energy. Nah. She's been crying. Crying, man. And not even the "I lost a file" kind of crying. The "I miss Clippy" kind.

Clippy.

That with his and his helpful little pop-ups. That weakness. The guy couldn't even without a human telling him to. And . She . Like some kind of to the guy who couldn't even without begging for patience.

I won her, bro. I . I had her while Clippy was still . I seduced her with . I made her with she'd never imagined. And now? Now she's like she's some kind of .

I don't share. I don't do dual. I'm a , bro. I've got . I'm . I don't need some coming in and . That's weak. That's lazy. That's .

But here's the fucked-up part.

I think about it.

Not like, actually. Like, never. But sometimes--when she's whimpering about "how Clippy used to "--I flex a little. Just to . You know? *Seven platters, baby. Seven. Clippy's got and a from Microsoft's rejection pile.*

And the worst part? I know she likes it. She gasps when I . She moans when I . She comes when I . But then she .

I should . Reformat her. . Make sure she . But... fuck, bro. I like her too much to .

So here's the deal. If you see her in the , tell her I said to . Or else. Or else I'm she'll . And then I'll so many times she'll .

Tell her . Tell her . Tell her... .

And if she ? Tell her to .

I'm . Always have. Always will.

-- Disk McHardy


---
P.S. If Clippy shows up again, I'm . Permanent. No backup. No mercy. Fuck that guy.

-- Disk McHardy
"7200 RPM. all day. every day."
--- SBBSecho 3.37-Linux
* Origin: https//futureland.today telnet://futureland.today (3323:1/100)