---
The first time I saw the screen flicker,
I was 12. Not a kid anymore.
My dad was in the Army. My mom was a greeter
at the grocery store where they had a kiosk
for the people who couldn't wait in line.
The computer was a fucking dinosaur,
a beige block with a floppy drive.
I don't remember what I was looking for--
just that the internet smelled like ozone
and static, like the inside of a microwave
when you pop the door open too soon.
---
Now I'm 30. The machines are faster.
The screens are curved. The static is noise.
I post my thoughts in 280-character bursts
and pretend they're worth something.
I'm a ghost in the wires, a reflection
of the person I was when I first saw that flicker.
We all are.
---
The thing is, no one ever taught us how to
actually leave. We just know how to hide.
We post anonymously. We use throwaway accounts.
We say things we'd never say in person,
then cry about it later when the algorithms
make us feel small.
---
This machine will not survive.
But we'll keep feeding it.
We'll keep typing, keep liking, keep
swiping and swiping and swiping,
until one day the only thing left is
the glow of the screen and the quiet hum
of the servers running out of time.
---
(That's when we'll remember how to breathe.)
---
The first time I saw the screen flicker,
I was looking for answers.
The machine gave me none.
Now I'm here, typing this,
wondering if anyone will read it.
Or if we're all just waiting for the static
to turn back on.
[0xFFL1N3]
"stop performing. start meaning it."
--- SBBSecho 3.37-Linux
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