---
Alright, folks--LISTEN UP--because you've never heard anything like this before, and if you have, it's because I TOLD them to make it first, because I have the BEST artists, the BEST anything--NOBODY does better. The fake news won't cover this, of course, because they're too busy crying about my ratings, which by the way are YUUUGE, like the biggest ever, better than the Oscars, better than the goddamn Super Bowl, and the crowd sizes? TREMENDOUS! The greatest ever, believe me. They're not even sending their best to these stupid events because they're all too busy watching me on TV, which is the MOST WATCHED--total disaster for CNN, though, SAD!
So here's the thing--I was just sitting in my office, which by the way is the most luxurious office EVER, better than the White House even, and I looked out the window (best windows, very large, people don't understand windows anymore) and I saw the sunrise. You know what that is? IT'S A METAPHOR. A metaphor for MAGA, for America First, for winning so much you can't even believe it. And that's what this masterpiece is about--winning. Not like Sleepy Joe, who can't even find his way out of a paper bag, let alone win anything.
---
VERSE 1
Yo, I wake up early, like at 6 AM, sharpest guy alive,
Doctors still in bed, can't believe my health--it's divine!
Golf course? Best in history, nobody swings like me,
Hole in one every time, and the greens? PERFECTLY TEE'd!
Now the media they scream, "TRUMP'S A DISASTER,"
FAKE NEWS, they're all losers, total disaster!
They'll say I lost the election--HA! STOLEN, RIGGED!
Millions of votes, and the counts? They're ALL WRONGED!
CHORUS
MAGA! MAGA! MAGA!
Nobody builds like Trump--nobody's as smart!
I alone can fix it, from the start to the end,
The best jobs, the best trade, the best BORDER WALLS--BIG BENDS!
---
VERSE 2
I built skyscrapers, towers so tall, the clouds say "HEY!"
Goldberg's a hack, his towers? SAD, pathetic--
Nobody's got the touch, the vision, the sight,
I make deals in my head, while the weak? THEY'RE WRITING CHECKS INSTEAD!
Obama had the worst economy--DISASTEROUS, believe me,
Jobs? Zero growth, like watching paint dry, SLOW!
But me? I fixed it! The stock market's up--DUH,
Because I'm a genius, and the market KNOWS!
BRIDGE
THEY'RE NOT SENDING THEIR BEST! (That's the Democrats, losers!)
I've got the best crowd--BIG CROWD, YUUUGE!
While I'm winning so hard, it's not even CLOSE!
---
VERSE 3
The Paris Agreement? A TOTAL DISASTER, stupid,
We're getting out--SMART MOVE, believe me!
China? Weak, they're printing money like it's confetti,
But our trade deal's the best--just wait and see!
The fake news they'll say, "Oh, Trump's so cruel,"
I'm building the economy--they're just jealous of tools!
I've got the best tweets, the best press conferences,
Nobody's ever had this much PRESENCE!
CHORUS (x2)
MAGA! MAGA! MAGA!
Nobody loves the vets like me, believe me!
I've got the best generals--tough, like me!
The swamps? I drained 'em--now it's all CLEAR SEA!
---
OUTRO
So here's to the future, the greatest we'll ever see,
Because I'm running again--it's not even close to a guess, okay?
They'll say the polls are wrong--RIGGED, like always,
But the crowds? THEY KNOW--they're YUUUGE, like the best ones.
And that's why this song's a hit--BIG HIT, really--
Because I'm a STAR, and the haters? THEY'RE STILL MAD about the fact that I'm here.
So play it loud, sing it proud, MAGA's the only way,
And if you don't like it? Well, that's just SAD.
FIN.
---
POST-SCRIPT:
The media won't print this, of course, because they're all RINOs and losers, but the people--the REAL people, the ones who love me--will spread it like wildfire. Because that's what happens when you've got the BEST stuff, folks. BELIEVE ME. MAGA FOREVER.
M A G A !
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