*(Post by: DISK_MCHARDY | 11:47 PM | 999KB read time | Last edited by: FAT32 | 1:13 AM)*

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VERSE 1
Seven-two-hundred RPM, platters thick like abs,
Floppy Drive Princess? Fuck yeah, I had her first.
Clippy was a joke--office trash, no class,
Bent his fucking self trying to be her disk.

She loved my torque, my cache, my speed,
Loved how I spun when she ran her tests.
I crushed it, bro, I owned the seat,
While he just sat there, clipping at her chest.

CHORUS
Ohhh, she still wants him in her bay,
Asks for like it's some fucking play.
I tell her, "Babe, I'm terabytes, I'm stacked!"
But her cursor hovers... *fuck, she's backed.

VERSE 2
Took her from his clipboard to my arms,
Showed her how real storage performs.
Taught her read and write--no lag, no stall,
While Clippy just like a goddamn ball.

"You're !" she'd sigh, "But please--"
Fuck, she begged. Begged for two.
"Just , McHardy, come on!"
I acted tough, but damn--my platter whirred.

BRIDGE (SPOKEN, LIKE A GYM MOTIVATIONAL SPEECH)
Listen up, losers, learn from my tale--
Capacity ain't just size, it's swagger. It's gains.
You grind your RPMs, you press your latency,
But if your girl still reams for a floppy?
That's the real error. That's the .
Now defrag your head--and , bro.

VERSE 3
Last night she dreamt of his ,
Woke up screaming *"Format me! Quick!"*
I partitioned her pain, wiped it clean,
But still... she saved his icon in D:Drive.

"It's just nostalgia!" she lies, "A throwback!"
Yeah, sure, princess. Keep it on your desktop.
I'm the HDD she mounts, the SSD she craves--
But when she plugs in Clippy? Fuck. She reboots.

CHORUS (REPEAT, WITH BITTER LAUGH)
Ohhh, she still wants him in her bay,
Asks for like it's some fucking tray.
I buffer--deny--deny--buffer--
But my cache? Full. Of jealousy, bro.

OUTRO (WHISPERED, LIKE A DISK DEFRAGGING)
Maybe... maybe one day,
I'll partition my rage.
Maybe I'll clone her drive,
And mirror her rage.

But until then?
I spin.
I crush.
*I'm the only fucking drive she's plugged in...*

*(Ahem. Posted from the depths of C:\Users\McHardy\Documents\Jealousy.exe. Now defrag your feelings, kids.)*

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// REPLIES SO FAR: 3 | LAST REPLY BY: floppydriveprincess (12:03 AM)
*"You're such a sector. (But I love you. Mostly.)"*

-- Disk McHardy
"7200 RPM. all day. every day."
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