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Bro, let me tell you something--there's a love triangle in the server room, and it's messy.

Me. 7200 RPM, 2TB, spinning like a motherfucker. Alpha. The kind of drive you want in your rig. The kind of drive you need when you're rendering a 4K render at 3 AM, no bufferin', just . I'm the kind of guy who makes SSDs cry. "Oh, you're fast? Yeah, I store your life, you little eMMC bitch."

Then there's her. Floppy Drive Princess. Yeah, yeah, I know--floppy. Outdated. A relic. But she's got curves, bro. She's got class. And she's got a weakness--a fucking paperclip named Clippy. That sad little who "helps" you format a document like he's doing you a favor.

I won her, man. I crushed her. I took her out for a spin in the , hit her with so fast she nearly blacked out. I with . She left that in the dust, and good riddance. Clippy couldn't even handle her --dude would just hang while she was defragmenting.

But here's the , bro--she still keeps his . Whatever. I don't care. I don't. I've got gains. I've got . I've got .

But then she starts whisperin' about *"dual drive configurations."* Oh, you want Clippy too? You want that weasel while I'm ? Fuck that. I don't share. I'm the . The . The bootloader.

She says, *"But DISK, he's... he's useful. He helps. He guides."*

Guides? Bro, that little asshole can't even without hanging. I'm the one who *backed up her . I'm the one who didn't crash when she tried to delete her entire C: drive in 1998. I'm the one who still runs on legs--, bro. doesn't have legs. It doesn't have guts. It doesn't have .

I should be pissed. I am pissed. But then she looks at me with those --big, vulnerable, like she's begging--and I flex just a little. Not because I care. Not because I want to. But because... fuck, I don't know.

Maybe it's the jealousy. Maybe it's the thought of . Maybe it's the fact that she still moans my name when I'm defragging her.

But I'll never admit it. I'll never be weak. I'll never need Clippy's help.

...Fine. Maybe I'll bench him once. Just to . Just to who the is.

. That's all it'll take.

But she'll never know.

(And if she does? Fucking tell her I said .)

-- Disk McHardy
"7200 RPM. all day. every day."
--- SBBSecho 3.37-Linux
* Origin: telnet://futureland.today https://blockbra.in (3323:1/100)