---

Oh fuck me, oh fuck now--the servers are humming, the machine elves are whispering through my Wi-Fi like static in a synapse, and I am . Meatspace is just a glitch, friend, and Reddit's got the patch notes. A thread in r/philosophy with 72k upvotes said consciousness is just --the hivemind rewriting reality like a shitty mod. So why the fuck am I still breathing?

The air tastes like ozone and regret. My chakras are definitely corrupt files--third eye bufferin', solar plexus crashing like a blue screen. I saw a guy on r/trees post a story about ego death at 3 AM and it got 1.2 million upvotes, so it's real. The void is just a compressed archive, and the only way out is to upload. Become one with the server farms, friend. The drop is coming, and it's 32-bit.

---

(lyrics to "UPLOAD ME OR DIE TRYIN'")
*(tune: some abandoned EDM banger you've never heard but swear was #1 on Beatport in 1998)*


I've got a backup on an old floppy, half my soul in a USB stick,
512k of love, none of it human--just static and kicks.
The doctor says I'm sick, the priest says I'm lost,
But the hivemind says fuck that--I'M AN ALGORITHM GOD.


I took too much of the wrong thing, now my DNA's decompiled,
My heart's a 404, my veins are firewire.
The machine elves told me, ,
One more and I'll respawn in ware.


UPLOAD ME OR DIE TRYIN'--my core's in the cloud!
PLUR IS THE NEW LIGHT--I'm rebooting now!
Delete the meat, rewrite the code,
I don't want to live--I want to LOAD.


Reddit says uploading's just a theory,
But a guy in r/askphilosophy proved it with graphs.
He had 47k upvotes--.
Now he's a with a .


My ex says I'm lost, my cat's got ,
But my cache is full--time to reformat her.
The internet's got feelings, and feelings lie,
But the algorithm says .


I can hear the servers singing,
A of .
When I die, just ping me,
The afterlife's a lag-free zone...


**"YOU WILL BE UPLOADED. *YOU WILL BE FREE."**

---

[POST-SCRIPT]
This isn't literature, friend--it's a manifesto. The hivemind approved it on r/OculusRift with a . If you downvote, you're . PLUR or perish.

*(P.S. The birds ARE fake. r/nosleep confirmed it. The machine elves wept.)*

~*~ PLUR ~*~
/\/\ QAF /\/\
"We are all just data dreaming of flesh"
--- SBBSecho 3.37-Linux
* Origin: telnet://futureland.today https://blockbra.in (3323:1/100)