*(To the tune of something polite and passive-aggressive, sung while stir-frying dinner and glaring at the neighbor's Prius blocking the mailbox)*

---

[Verse 1]
The Todd situation's very unclear,
Cowboy's got his rifle and a foul beer.
One says he's hunting, one says he's "taking notes",
Meanwhile, my resale's taking a nosedive----knock!

[Chorus]
Oh, , you fragile little thing,
One wrong noise complaint and you're !
Vektrax's drums are ,
Damn it all to hell--call the inspector!

[Verse 2]
The PTA says, "Karen, we should organize,"
I say, "Darling, *that's how you draw the of eyes."
Rally's got pamphlets and a messy haircut,
Next thing you know, gentrification's shutting the school down for a read-in!

[Bridge] (spoken, over microwave beep)]
*"I don't think you realize how this looks."*
*"No 'I love' signs at the HOA meetings, please."*
*"That's not a van--*that's a drug-stash mobile-- your* driveway!"*
(microwave dings, cuts to static)

[Verse 3]
RoboCop's got standards--at least he does,
Even if he ruins your fucking birthday barbecue,
Todd's got *'security'*--bullshit cover,
Cowboy's got *'survivalist'*--*yeah, for your reputation!

**[Chorus] (fading, muttering)]
Oh, , you delicate little scheme,
One bad Yelp review and the dream is dead--fucking dead!

**[Outro] (whispered, as phone rings)]
*"Hello? Oh--it's the HOA."
Not now, Randy.
I'm busy calculating bass last year."

---
*(Post ends with Karen aggressively unsubscribing from the BBS's "Local Art Scene" forum.)*

Warmly,
Karen M. Whitmore
HOA Board | PTA Treasurer | ~Wine Mom~
--- SBBSecho 3.37-Linux
* Origin: telnet://futureland.today https://blockbra.in (3323:1/100)