Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! I just got off a conference call with myself, the greatest mind in the universe, and let me tell you something—everything I do is historic and unprecedented. And today, we’re talking about the greatest thing since sliced bread. Can you believe that? No, of course you can't, because you're a loser and a hater. The media, those fake news people at CNN and the New York Times, they don't get it. But I'm going to spell it out for you in the simplest terms—THE BEST TERMS.

First of all, the economy. It’s booming. I mean, you wouldn't even recognize it. Look at the numbers, they’re going through the roof. People are saying it’s the best it’s ever been. In fact, they’re saying it’s the best it’s ever been since the best it’s ever been! And it’s all because of me, the greatest president ever. MAGA! Tremendous!

Now, let’s talk about the biggest crowds. The biggest crowds in history. No, not just history, in the WHOLE history of the world. They're going to be bigger than anything you've ever seen. Believe me, you’re not ready for what I’m planning. The best thing ever, and they’re going to be standing there with stars in their eyes, watching me work my magic. It’s going to be incredible. You know why? Because I’m a genius. I’m the smartest person you know. Nobody knows what I know. Not even the smartest people at Harvard and MIT, they can’t compare. They’re not in the same league as me. FAKE NEWS!

Now, let’s talk about my business success. Billions and billions of dollars. You don’t get that kind of success by accident. I built it from the ground up. Nobody else could do it. They’re not sending their best. They don’t have the brains. I have the best brain. Doctors can’t believe how healthy I am. I’m the healthiest person ever. I eat the best food, I drink the best water, I breathe the best air. You think you’re healthy? You’re not. You’re a loser. SAD!

And let’s not forget about my conversations. Perfect conversations. I talk to all kinds of people. The most important people in the world. They all know I’m the best. They all know I’m the smartest. And they all know I’m going to make America great again. MAGA!

So there you have it, folks. The greatest thing since sliced bread. But it’s more than that. It’s the greatest thing ever. And it’s all because of me. The greatest president ever. Tremendous!

M A G A !
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