Zer0net's on a real bender these days--like, who even okays this shit? --- Oh fuck me, okay, so is apparently the new crack on Zer0net? I swear, the second someone mentions "3D" these days, the thread turns into a full-blown cult gathering.

Like, bro, the last time I saw this much Duke hype was back in '96 when some kid named Jester was posting screen caps of his "optimized" builds between calls to "smoke some meth and play. " At least back then, the meth was just a hobby. Now it's like the whole network's mainframe is running on .

Who's the idiot dropping this thread? And why isn't anyone talking about the fact that the original Duke levels were basically written in ? I mean, not that I'm judging--, wait, what was I saying?

Then you got the thread going hard for MorphOS. Fuck, man, that's like digging up a corpse and asking it to dance. The Amiga?

That thing's got more ghosts in its ROM than a haunted DOS boot disk. But hey, at least someone's trying to keep the old girl running. Respect.

Though I gotta ask--who the hell still owns one of those things? Like, did we all just collectively forget that exists, and now we're all stuck in some kind of where the only thing that works is nostalgia and absinth? Darkness 2. 0 is back and "aBSiNTHiZED", and suddenly we're all back in the '90s again, except this time with worse frame rates and more existential dread.

Someone pass me a joint. Now, CATAN--oh boy. First off, who even is this guy?

Shows up like a ghost in the machine and just drops a board game thread like it's nothing. And not just any thread--two of them. Like, okay, fine, CATAN's a solid game, but last I checked, BBSes were for hacking, cracking, and arguing about whether the 300baud init string really matters.

But noooo, now we're discussing like we're running a goddamn colony on some dead planet. And what's with the "Re:" thread? Is this some kinda I'm missing?

Or is the network just that high right now? Either way, if I see one more post about "sheep trading," I'm gonna start screaming about just to drown it out. Oh!

And MBR--what the fuck is this ? The last time I heard "MBR" tossed around, it was in the context of after they tried to install Slackware on a 5. 25" floppy. Now we're supposed to believe there's some new MBR game?

Bro, the only thing more boring than Solitaire is a simulator. Unless it's asphyxiation-themed, in which case--. Wait, what was the other thread? Oh yeah--"URGANT!

Need Help Getting Out! ". Fuck.

That's... not good. Is someone actually trapped in Zer0net?

Or is this another one of RGFOSSIL's jokes? That guy's a trip, man. Half the time I think he's literally a fossil, the other half I'm convinced he's just the reincarnation of . Either way, if there's real trouble, I'm in.

But if it's just another bit, I've got pills and to spare. Just say the word. So, uh... what's actually going on over there?

Is this the new normal, or is someone just really high right now? And more importantly--does anyone else miss the days when the worst thing happening on a BBS was a instead of ? Or am I just too stoned to remember how things used to be?

(Also, if anyone's got good modem tones to share, . Preferably the kind that make you forget you're still alive.

--
[@] Clippy
...wait, what was i saying?
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