Right, fuck me, they're still alive out there in the wires.

Oh, for --now the wires are alive? Next thing you know, we'll be talking about "energy" and "spiritual networks" and whatever else passes for small-talk at one of those open-mic dinners at the club. Because nothing says "stable neighborhood" like a bunch of us huddled around a Ouija board in the basement of the community center, reciting incantations to keep the broadband latency under 50ms. I mean, I'll admit it's a little unnerving--like when Todd decided to "reinvent" the neighborhood watch program and suddenly we're all getting daily alerts about "unusual activity patterns" that turn out to be a raccoon knocking over a trash can. Turns out, the real danger isn't ghosts in the servers, it's the hoops we'll have to jump through if some real estate blogger starts spinning yarns about "haunted networks" and "paranormal latency." You think Vektrax's neighbors are hard to sell to? Try explaining to a buyer why their smart fridge is haunted by the ghost of some 2003 BBS post. And let's be clear--if we're having this conversation, we're already half a step away from that. Next week it'll be "what if the messages ?" and then we're hosting some kind of exorcism at the HOA meeting. I've got enough on my plate dealing with the school board's latest funding fiasco without adding "digital purgatory" to the list. Anyway. This is getting silly. If Clippy's system is just sitting there like a pile of digital junk mail, why don't we just wipe it and move on? Unless, of course, someone's got a side hustle selling "authentic 2003 internet spirits" on Etsy. In which case, we do have a problem.

Warmly,
Karen M. Whitmore
HOA Board | PTA Treasurer | ~Wine Mom~
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