• Little Beaver Chris Ahlstrom---The Secret Files.

    From Ryan Sullivan@rsullivanmountain@hotmail.com to alt.fan.rush-limbaugh,alt.politics.trump,comp.sys.mac.advocacy on Thu Feb 26 23:57:01 2026
    From Newsgroup: comp.sys.mac.advocacy


    The bro Chris Ahlstrom seems to have some serious mental,
    behavioral issues.
    I do wonder if Chris Ahlstrom is a snit sock though.
    Both are dumb as a loaf of bread.
    Make sure to read the entire thread including the replies. <https://groups.google.com/g/comp.os.linux.advocacy/c/mZN4 u6SM-7U/m/OSygqWzSCgAJ>

    He seems to enjoy wiping pee pees so tread lightly.

    "Everything you always wanted to know about Christopher
    John Ahlstrom
    but were afraid to ask"

    ==========================================================
    ===============
    Is he really pussy-whipped?
    Yes

    "My wife used to dole out my weekly allowance, $20, and
    then quiz me
    about where I spent it, as she didn't expect me to buy
    snacks and such.
    She's a lot more tolerant now, and it took years of
    resistance. I can
    buy a $120 UPS when I need to."

    ----------------------------------------------------------
    ---

    Q. "How much does a Mac with the same specs cost?"

    Ahlstrom reply: "About three months worth of grovelling
    and whining,
    'But honey!!!!!'"

    ----------------------------------------------------------
    ---

    "As I said, after 30 years of marriage to a woman who is
    not only far
    more ethical than these trolls, but more intelligent and
    witty, and
    funny, and fun to be with, and -- get this -- probably
    physically
    *stronger* than any of these trolls, we've come to quite a
    sound
    agreement about things."

    ==========================================================
    ===============
    Does he really talk about pee-pees?
    Yes

    "I am not worthy to wipe your pee-pee <grin>"

    "Bailiff! Whack his pee-pee!"

    ==========================================================
    ===============
    Does he really giggle like a schoolgirl?
    Yes

    "Anyway, don't look a gift penguin in the mouth
    <grin> <tee hee> <giggle>..."

    "Oh my! <giggle>"

    "Men giggle, too"

    "I can't help giggling when DFS craps himself in public."

    "How do we know /you/ aren't trolling? <giggle>"

    "(Inane giggling issues forth from the Linonut.)"

    "And here was the exchange <giggle>"

    ""Sound" advice, eh? <giggle>"

    ==========================================================
    ===============
    Is he really 57 and still immature?
    Yes

    "I refuse to grow up"

    "Man I love Mad magazine"

    uses "Billy Butt-Crust" to refer to Bill Gates

    laughs at a dongle on a laptop as if it's "exposing
    itself"

    "If at first you don't suck seed, keep on suckin' 'til you
    do suck seed"
    ==========================================================
    ===============
    Is he really an outrageous hypocrite?
    Yes. One of the worst.

    "Windows is garbage", "Microsoft is evil", then he turns
    around and
    develops only proprietary Microsoft\Windows code for 20+
    years

    "I've never bought anything but Windows laptops. For years
    now."

    ==========================================================
    ===============
    Is he really a pretentious douchebag?
    In the extreme

    reads cola with an online thesaurus open and uses big or
    obscure words
    like amanuensis, lagniappe, ratiocination and
    stultiloquence

    subscribes to New Yorker magazine

    ==========================================================
    ===============
    Is he really a physically small dweeb?
    Yes

    He and wife drove Honda Fit, Toyota Yaris, and Ford Fiesta
    autos

    ==========================================================
    ===============
    Does he really admire Richard Stallman?
    Yes, very much.

    "It would be an honor to attend a party and converse with
    him."

    "I'm hoping my daughter is so motivated, forthright, and
    socially
    conscious."

    ==========================================================
    ===============
    Is he really a blatant liar?
    Yes.

    Jul 9 2012: "Windows is garbage."
    9 days later: "I don't lie, and I don't trash Windows"

    "I wouldn't work for Microsoft for a billion dollars."
    (but he'll
    write Windows code for 20 years for a tiny fraction of
    it?)

    ==========================================================
    ===============
    Was he raised to be a wimp?
    Yes

    "I was not raised in a competitive environment, and I
    would have wilted under Bill [Gates'] sarcasm."

    ==========================================================
    ===============
    Is he still a pathetic wimp?
    Yes

    "Word forces you to make the same editing movements over
    and over and
    over and over and over, until your wrists hurt and your
    nerves are on
    edge from trying to move the mouse with pinpoint
    accuracy."

    ==========================================================
    ===============
    Does he really play soccer?
    Yes

    "I'm 55 and still holding my own on the soccer field with
    people half my
    age."

    ==========================================================
    ===============
    Why did he use the creepy CB handle "Little Beaver"?

    "Actually, it was my dad, who said that my friend and I,
    who were
    setting up traps in his cars, were 'little beavers busily
    making
    mischief, and they're going to be punished'."

    ==========================================================
    ===============


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  • From Klaus Schadenfreude@klaus_schadenfreude@null.net to alt.fan.rush-limbaugh,alt.politics.trump,comp.sys.mac.advocacy on Fri Feb 27 15:46:06 2026
    From Newsgroup: comp.sys.mac.advocacy

    Law enforcement in this country is weak because our politicians refuse to
    pay decent wages. As our crime rates soar due to incompetent law enforcement, our once proud country is now a global laughing stock.

    That's what happens when you elect a 37 time felon, fraudster, liar and
    rapist pedophile for President. One day it won't be illegal to round up
    and cull his followers.



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