• Re: Single mother

    From The True Melissa@thetruemelissa@gmail.com to alt.usage.english on Sat Jan 3 12:40:24 2026
    From Newsgroup: alt.usage.english

    Verily, in article <unexpected-20251231165807@ram.dialup.fu-berlin.de>,
    did ram@zedat.fu-berlin.de deliver unto us this message:

    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> wrote or quoted:
    In article <10j1au6$21t7l$1@dont-email.me>,
    Silvano@noncisonopernessuno.it says...
    The True Melissa hat am 30.12.2025 um 19:31 geschrieben:
    In article <10j14dg$1vp64$1@dont-email.me>,
    I can't speak for other people, but I would rather have
    heard "ma'am" at both ages.
    Unexpected, but I thank you for your answer.
    Why is that unexpected, though?

    Language changes and depends on the region. "Good man" used
    to be a respectful, uplifting form of address (as was noted
    here recently), but today it's rejected as condescending.

    With "ma'am", some people, especially in the United Kingdom,
    feel insulted as if the address makes them feel "old".

    The condescention sometimes gets so strong that men (it's always men;
    never seen a woman do this) will constantly refer to elderly women as
    "young ladies."

    I recall watching a gray-haired woman receive a local history award, and
    the idiot presenter kept yapping about "this young lady" this and "this
    young lady" that, while she stared at him with what looked like
    resignation. She certainly wasn't giggling and blushing and preening at
    how young she allegedly looked. She didn't say anything, but my sense
    was that she did not like it.

    Some people, of both sexes, seem to thing that there's something
    shameful about a woman aging. Everyone ages.
    --
    Trustworthy words are not pretty;
    Pretty words are not trustworthy.

    -Lao-Tzu spoke those pretty words.
    --- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2
  • From The True Melissa@thetruemelissa@gmail.com to alt.usage.english on Sat Jan 3 12:49:19 2026
    From Newsgroup: alt.usage.english

    Verily, in article <1roa0lw.1fp10qx1qlb5idN%nospam@de-ster.demon.nl>,
    did nospam@de-ster.demon.nl deliver unto us this message:
    [snip]
    She was married (very unhappily it seems)
    for most of the period in which she worked
    on the first Harry Potter book. (by wikip)
    (I seem to remember a story that he had stolen her written pages,
    and used access to them as a means of blackmailing her)

    That's the way she tells it, but he denies this story. There's no way to
    find out for sure.
    --
    Trustworthy words are not pretty;
    Pretty words are not trustworthy.

    -Lao-Tzu spoke those pretty words.
    --- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2
  • From Silvano@Silvano@noncisonopernessuno.it to alt.usage.english on Sat Jan 3 23:00:24 2026
    From Newsgroup: alt.usage.english

    The True Melissa hat am 03.01.2026 um 21:40 geschrieben:
    Some people, of both sexes, seem to thing that there's something
    shameful about a woman aging. Everyone ages.


    Of course. What should be shameful about it? Getting older does bring
    some health problems, but the only alternative I found so far is dying
    young. No, thanks.

    My wife aging meant some savings on condoms. Honestly, we make love more
    often now than 30 years ago with two very young children.
    --- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2
  • From wollman@wollman@hergotha.csail.mit.edu (Garrett Wollman) to alt.usage.english on Sat Jan 3 22:15:25 2026
    From Newsgroup: alt.usage.english

    In article <MPG.43c31e916f32af859899bf@news.eternal-september.org>,
    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> wrote:

    The condescention sometimes gets so strong that men (it's always men;
    never seen a woman do this) will constantly refer to elderly women as
    "young ladies."

    Which reminds me that ham operators of a certain age (always men, of
    course) would refer to a "girl"friend as a "young lady" or "YL" for
    short. I was very confused by the abbreviation "XYL", which to them
    meant "ex-'young lady'", i.e., wife, but to me was equally obviously
    something else entirely. For a while I thought there were an awful
    lot of bisexual 70-something hams.

    -GAWollman
    (not a ham and still only 50-something)
    --
    Garrett A. Wollman | "Act to avoid constraining the future; if you can, wollman@bimajority.org| act to remove constraint from the future. This is Opinions not shared by| a thing you can do, are able to do, to do together."
    my employers. | - Graydon Saunders, _A Succession of Bad Days_ (2015) --- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2
  • From nospam@nospam@de-ster.demon.nl (J. J. Lodder) to alt.usage.english on Sat Jan 3 23:39:21 2026
    From Newsgroup: alt.usage.english

    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> wrote:

    Verily, in article <1roa0lw.1fp10qx1qlb5idN%nospam@de-ster.demon.nl>,
    did nospam@de-ster.demon.nl deliver unto us this message:
    [snip]
    She was married (very unhappily it seems)
    for most of the period in which she worked
    on the first Harry Potter book. (by wikip)
    (I seem to remember a story that he had stolen her written pages,
    and used access to them as a means of blackmailing her)

    That's the way she tells it, but he denies this story. There's no way to
    find out for sure.

    It is a fact that they divorced after a few years marriage.
    I think that her unhappy experiences reappear in RObert Galbraith's
    rendering of RObin's unhappy marriage.

    BTW, continued from a previous posting else-thread:
    I really think that Rowling wanted to do more
    than just setting up a pseudonym.
    She wanted to create a new personality,
    to become somebody new, to think in new patterns,
    so not merely her old self under another name.
    I believe her when she says that she was dismayed
    when it come out to soon.

    There are different versions circulating about that too.
    From a lawyer giving it away, to sophisticated language analysis
    software being involved, to (maliciously) Rowling herself
    engineering it when sales didn't pick up rapidly enough.

    No way to find that out either,

    Jan
    (not delved deeply)

    --- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2
  • From Sam Plusnet@not@home.com to alt.usage.english on Sun Jan 4 00:44:47 2026
    From Newsgroup: alt.usage.english

    On 03/01/2026 22:15, Garrett Wollman wrote:
    In article <MPG.43c31e916f32af859899bf@news.eternal-september.org>,
    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> wrote:

    The condescention sometimes gets so strong that men (it's always men;
    never seen a woman do this) will constantly refer to elderly women as
    "young ladies."

    Which reminds me that ham operators of a certain age (always men, of
    course) would refer to a "girl"friend as a "young lady" or "YL" for
    short. I was very confused by the abbreviation "XYL", which to them
    meant "ex-'young lady'", i.e., wife, but to me was equally obviously something else entirely. For a while I thought there were an awful
    lot of bisexual 70-something hams.

    Still less offensive (IMO) than the Ham radio reference to "Seat Covers".

    -GAWollman
    (not a ham and still only 50-something)
    --
    Sam Plusnet
    --- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2
  • From liz@liz@poppyrecords.invalid.invalid (Liz Tuddenham) to alt.usage.english on Sun Jan 4 10:35:37 2026
    From Newsgroup: alt.usage.english

    Garrett Wollman <wollman@hergotha.csail.mit.edu> wrote:

    In article <MPG.43c31e916f32af859899bf@news.eternal-september.org>,
    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> wrote:

    The condescention sometimes gets so strong that men (it's always men;
    never seen a woman do this) will constantly refer to elderly women as >"young ladies."

    Which reminds me that ham operators of a certain age (always men, of
    course) would refer to a "girl"friend as a "young lady" or "YL" for
    short. I was very confused by the abbreviation "XYL", which to them
    meant "ex-'young lady'", i.e., wife,...

    I know two husband-and-wife sets of radio amateurs. in one case they
    have callsigns with only one character difference. Both the wives have
    learned morse; I asked one of them why she went to that much trouble and
    she replied "So I can hear what my husband gets up to".
    --
    ~ Liz Tuddenham ~
    (Remove the ".invalid"s and add ".co.uk" to reply)
    www.poppyrecords.co.uk
    --- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2
  • From liz@liz@poppyrecords.invalid.invalid (Liz Tuddenham) to alt.usage.english on Sun Jan 4 10:35:36 2026
    From Newsgroup: alt.usage.english

    Sam Plusnet <not@home.com> wrote:

    On 03/01/2026 22:15, Garrett Wollman wrote:
    In article <MPG.43c31e916f32af859899bf@news.eternal-september.org>,
    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> wrote:

    The condescention sometimes gets so strong that men (it's always men;
    never seen a woman do this) will constantly refer to elderly women as
    "young ladies."

    Which reminds me that ham operators of a certain age (always men, of course) would refer to a "girl"friend as a "young lady" or "YL" for
    short. I was very confused by the abbreviation "XYL", which to them
    meant "ex-'young lady'", i.e., wife, but to me was equally obviously something else entirely. For a while I thought there were an awful
    lot of bisexual 70-something hams.

    Still less offensive (IMO) than the Ham radio reference to "Seat Covers".

    That was a CB term, I have never heard it used in the amateur radio
    bands.


    (G8HEH)
    --
    ~ Liz Tuddenham ~
    (Remove the ".invalid"s and add ".co.uk" to reply)
    www.poppyrecords.co.uk
    --- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2
  • From Janet@nobody@home.com to alt.usage.english on Sun Jan 4 12:00:13 2026
    From Newsgroup: alt.usage.english

    In article <MPG.43c320a94fcef94e9899c0@news.eternal-
    september.org>, thetruemelissa@gmail.com says...

    Verily, in article <1roa0lw.1fp10qx1qlb5idN%nospam@de-ster.demon.nl>,
    did nospam@de-ster.demon.nl deliver unto us this message:
    [snip]
    She was married (very unhappily it seems)
    for most of the period in which she worked
    on the first Harry Potter book. (by wikip)
    (I seem to remember a story that he had stolen her written pages,
    and used access to them as a means of blackmailing her)

    That's the way she tells it, but he denies this story. There's no way to find out for sure.

    He publically admitted hitting her when the baby was 2
    months old (the reason she left him and returned to
    Scotland, where a Scottish court granted a restraint order
    against him to protect his wife and daughter, and a
    divorce.

    On the Sun Newspaper front page headline. Arantes
    admitted hitting her and said he was not sorry.

    https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/11842719/jk-rowling-ex-
    husband-abuse-claims/

    and again:

    https://nypost.com/2000/07/11/a-dark-flashback-inpotter- authors-tall-ex-junkie-hubby-demanding-right-to-see-their-
    daughter/

    Jessica was born July 27, 1993. Two months later, Arantes
    admits, he ordered his wife out of their apartment.

    ?She refused to go without Jessica, and, despite my saying
    she could come back for her in the morning, there was a
    violent struggle,? he says. ?I had to drag her out of the
    house at 5 in the morning, and I admit I slapped her very
    hard in the street.?



    Janet
    --- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2
  • From occam@occam@nowhere.nix to alt.usage.english on Sun Jan 4 13:23:59 2026
    From Newsgroup: alt.usage.english

    On 02/01/2026 00:18, Peter Moylan wrote:

    "Hello, is that Peter?"

    Welcome callers usually start differently, though, by identifying
    themselves and/or by saying what the call is about. "Hello, I'm calling
    from Dr Ferencz's rooms." Only junk callers think that I should be the
    first to identiify myself.

    In the past, I sometimes ended up saying "If you don't tell me what this
    call is about, I'm hanging up". Now I just put the phone down and let
    them listen to background noises.

    Here's a little more sophisticated revenge played on cold callers:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIVfrBFc5og
    --- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2
  • From Sam Plusnet@not@home.com to alt.usage.english on Sun Jan 4 21:40:15 2026
    From Newsgroup: alt.usage.english

    On 04/01/2026 10:35, Liz Tuddenham wrote:
    Sam Plusnet <not@home.com> wrote:

    On 03/01/2026 22:15, Garrett Wollman wrote:
    In article <MPG.43c31e916f32af859899bf@news.eternal-september.org>,
    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> wrote:

    The condescention sometimes gets so strong that men (it's always men;
    never seen a woman do this) will constantly refer to elderly women as
    "young ladies."

    Which reminds me that ham operators of a certain age (always men, of
    course) would refer to a "girl"friend as a "young lady" or "YL" for
    short. I was very confused by the abbreviation "XYL", which to them
    meant "ex-'young lady'", i.e., wife, but to me was equally obviously
    something else entirely. For a while I thought there were an awful
    lot of bisexual 70-something hams.

    Still less offensive (IMO) than the Ham radio reference to "Seat Covers".

    That was a CB term, I have never heard it used in the amateur radio
    bands.


    (G8HEH)

    My mistake. Sorry.
    --
    Sam Plusnet
    --- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2
  • From liz@liz@poppyrecords.invalid.invalid (Liz Tuddenham) to alt.usage.english on Mon Jan 5 09:20:30 2026
    From Newsgroup: alt.usage.english

    Sam Plusnet <not@home.com> wrote:

    On 04/01/2026 10:35, Liz Tuddenham wrote:
    Sam Plusnet <not@home.com> wrote:

    On 03/01/2026 22:15, Garrett Wollman wrote:
    In article <MPG.43c31e916f32af859899bf@news.eternal-september.org>,
    The True Melissa <thetruemelissa@gmail.com> wrote:

    The condescention sometimes gets so strong that men (it's always men; >>>> never seen a woman do this) will constantly refer to elderly women as >>>> "young ladies."

    Which reminds me that ham operators of a certain age (always men, of
    course) would refer to a "girl"friend as a "young lady" or "YL" for
    short. I was very confused by the abbreviation "XYL", which to them
    meant "ex-'young lady'", i.e., wife, but to me was equally obviously
    something else entirely. For a while I thought there were an awful
    lot of bisexual 70-something hams.

    Still less offensive (IMO) than the Ham radio reference to "Seat Covers".

    That was a CB term, I have never heard it used in the amateur radio
    bands.


    (G8HEH)

    My mistake. Sorry.

    It is a common misunderstanding - but it reminded me of another slang
    term from the 1920s: the pillion seat of a motorcycle was referred to
    as a "flapper-bracket".
    --
    ~ Liz Tuddenham ~
    (Remove the ".invalid"s and add ".co.uk" to reply)
    www.poppyrecords.co.uk
    --- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2