From Newsgroup: alt.home.repair

In article <69936ae9$0$22$882e4bbb@reader.netnews.com>, j_mcquown@comcast.net jmquown says...

On 2/15/2026 9:35 PM, Ed P wrote:

On 2/15/2026 9:32 PM, Dave Smith wrote:

On 2026-02-15 8:49 p.m., Ed P wrote:

Sometimes there is little choice in what to drink with dinner.a This
was one of them.

I donated a pint of blood today so, my body is down a pint of red
fluid. aaThe only way I could find to make things right, replace it
with an equal amount of red fluid.a Pinot Noir did the job and I'm
back in balance.

Thoughts and prayers Ed. Thoughts and prayers.

I usually do double red cells but today, my iron was down two points
below the minimum for it.a I'll stock up on spinach.

Here's an idea. Saute the spinach with minced garlic to balance things
out. Then have another glass of the red stuff. ;)

https://postimg.cc/4KwZ0tv3

Jill

You party animal!

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From Newsgroup: alt.home.repair

On Mon, 16 Feb 2026 14:24:50 -0500
Ed Pawlowski <polskis@kilbasa.not> wrote:

In article <69936ae9$0$22$882e4bbb@reader.netnews.com>,
j_mcquown@comcast.net jmquown says...

On 2/15/2026 9:35 PM, Ed P wrote:

On 2/15/2026 9:32 PM, Dave Smith wrote:

On 2026-02-15 8:49 p.m., Ed P wrote:

Sometimes there is little choice in what to drink with dinner.
This was one of them.

I donated a pint of blood today so, my body is down a pint of
red fluid. -a-aThe only way I could find to make things right,
replace it with an equal amount of red fluid.-a Pinot Noir did
the job and I'm back in balance.

Thoughts and prayers Ed. Thoughts and prayers.

I usually do double red cells but today, my iron was down two
points below the minimum for it.-a I'll stock up on spinach.

Here's an idea. Saute the spinach with minced garlic to balance
things out. Then have another glass of the red stuff. ;)

https://postimg.cc/4KwZ0tv3

Jill

You party animal!

Bang a gong!
Get it on.
--- Synchronet 3.21b-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: alt.home.repair

Jill

You party animal!

Bang a gong!

Get it on.

********
They hiked back up the hollow with Ian tramping in the lead, and when he
saw the gravel road, he advised them to dress. Winter's reply was
swift, oMy bare butt on the drivey seat of my Jeep. I'm on a roll, and
the sooner we're rolling the better. Ann, back seat, and Ian, you're >shotgun.o
.
All of Ian's concerns about Winter's driving were allayed by her >performance, which was slow, and deliberate, not at all manic. Even the >final descent into the vale, straddling a ravine in the washed out road, >didn't elicit fear, but praise, oGood driving. You scratched up the >driver's side of the Jeep pretty thoroughly.o
.
oSorry.o
.
oNo, you prioritized keeping the tires where they belonged even with >branches grinding against your side, and you didn't flinch. I declare
you quite the Jeepster.o
.
As they crawled along the old stream bed, Winter scanned the path ahead >before turning around and singing to Ann adoringly, oGirl, I'm just a >Jeepster for your luh-uh-uh-ove,o and looked ahead for a moment before >returning her attention to Ian.
.
Ann's gaze was fixed on Winter, and she didn't catch Ian's silently
mouthed words, oI'm gonna suck you.o

********

alt talk bizarre worthy methinks almost.

Well Done.

John T.
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From Newsgroup: alt.home.repair

On Mon, 16 Feb 2026 17:56:57 -0600
Bryan Simmons <bryangsimmons@gmail.com> wrote:

On 2/16/2026 2:01 PM, Mars Sellus wrote:

On Mon, 16 Feb 2026 14:24:50 -0500
Ed Pawlowski <polskis@kilbasa.not> wrote:

In article <69936ae9$0$22$882e4bbb@reader.netnews.com>,
j_mcquown@comcast.net jmquown says...

On 2/15/2026 9:35 PM, Ed P wrote:

On 2/15/2026 9:32 PM, Dave Smith wrote:

On 2026-02-15 8:49 p.m., Ed P wrote:

Sometimes there is little choice in what to drink with dinner.
This was one of them.

I donated a pint of blood today so, my body is down a pint of
red fluid. -a-aThe only way I could find to make things right,
replace it with an equal amount of red fluid.-a Pinot Noir did
the job and I'm back in balance.

Thoughts and prayers Ed. Thoughts and prayers.

I usually do double red cells but today, my iron was down two
points below the minimum for it.-a I'll stock up on spinach.

Here's an idea. Saute the spinach with minced garlic to balance
things out. Then have another glass of the red stuff. ;)

https://postimg.cc/4KwZ0tv3

Jill

You party animal!

Bang a gong!

Get it on.

********
They hiked back up the hollow with Ian tramping in the lead, and when
he saw the gravel road, he advised them to dress. Winter's reply was
swift, rCLMy bare butt on the drivey seat of my Jeep. I'm on a roll,
and the sooner we're rolling the better. Ann, back seat, and Ian,
you're shotgun.rCY
.
All of Ian's concerns about Winter's driving were allayed by her performance, which was slow, and deliberate, not at all manic. Even
the final descent into the vale, straddling a ravine in the washed
out road, didn't elicit fear, but praise, rCLGood driving. You
scratched up the driver's side of the Jeep pretty thoroughly.rCY
.
rCLSorry.rCY
.
rCLNo, you prioritized keeping the tires where they belonged even with branches grinding against your side, and you didn't flinch. I
declare you quite the Jeepster.rCY
.
As they crawled along the old stream bed, Winter scanned the path
ahead before turning around and singing to Ann adoringly, rCLGirl, I'm
just a Jeepster for your luh-uh-uh-ove,rCY and looked ahead for a
moment before returning her attention to Ian.
.
Ann's gaze was fixed on Winter, and she didn't catch Ian's silently
mouthed words, rCLI'm gonna suck you.rCY

********

;-)
You got it.
https://youtu.be/FApi-kFFqUI?list=RDFApi-kFFqUI
And frankly your dialog and scripting is really quite good.
--- Synchronet 3.21b-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: alt.home.repair

Bryan Simmons wrote on 2/16/2026 5:56 PM:

On 2/16/2026 2:01 PM, Mars Sellus wrote:

On Mon, 16 Feb 2026 14:24:50 -0500
Ed Pawlowski <polskis@kilbasa.not> wrote:

In article <69936ae9$0$22$882e4bbb@reader.netnews.com>,
j_mcquown@comcast.net jmquown says...

On 2/15/2026 9:35 PM, Ed P wrote:

On 2/15/2026 9:32 PM, Dave Smith wrote:

On 2026-02-15 8:49 p.m., Ed P wrote:

Sometimes there is little choice in what to drink with dinner.
This was one of them.

I donated a pint of blood today so, my body is down a pint of
red fluid. -a-aThe only way I could find to make things right,
replace it with an equal amount of red fluid.-a Pinot Noir did
the job and I'm back in balance.

Thoughts and prayers Ed. Thoughts and prayers.

I usually do double red cells but today, my iron was down two
points below the minimum for it.-a I'll stock up on spinach.

Here's an idea.a Saute the spinach with minced garlic to balance
things out.a Then have another glass of the red stuff. ;)

https://postimg.cc/4KwZ0tv3

Jill

You party animal!

Bang a gong!

Get it on.

********
They hiked back up the hollow with Ian tramping in the lead, and when he
saw the gravel road, he advised them to dress.a Winter's reply was
swift, rCLMy bare butt on the drivey seat of my Jeep.a I'm on a roll,
and the sooner we're rolling the better.a Ann, back seat, and Ian,
you're shotgun.rCY
.
All of Ian's concerns about Winter's driving were allayed by her performance, which was slow, and deliberate, not at all manic.a Even the final descent into the vale, straddling a ravine in the washed out road, didn't elicit fear, but praise, rCLGood driving.a You scratched up the driver's side of the Jeep pretty thoroughly.rCY
.
rCLSorry.rCY
.
rCLNo, you prioritized keeping the tires where they belonged even with branches grinding against your side, and you didn't flinch.a I declare
you quite the Jeepster.rCY
.
As they crawled along the old stream bed, Winter scanned the path ahead before turning around and singing to Ann adoringly, rCLGirl, I'm just a Jeepster for your luh-uh-uh-ove,rCY and looked ahead for a moment before returning her attention to Ian.
.
Ann's gaze was fixed on Winter, and she didn't catch Ian's silently
mouthed words, rCLI'm gonna suck you.rCY

********

Did you write that passage after remembering some of your sex outings
with J Kuth?

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From Newsgroup: alt.home.repair

Mars Sellus wrote on 2/16/2026 6:08 PM:

On Mon, 16 Feb 2026 17:56:57 -0600
Bryan Simmons <bryangsimmons@gmail.com> wrote:

On 2/16/2026 2:01 PM, Mars Sellus wrote:

On Mon, 16 Feb 2026 14:24:50 -0500
Ed Pawlowski <polskis@kilbasa.not> wrote:

In article <69936ae9$0$22$882e4bbb@reader.netnews.com>,
j_mcquown@comcast.net jmquown says...

On 2/15/2026 9:35 PM, Ed P wrote:

On 2/15/2026 9:32 PM, Dave Smith wrote:

On 2026-02-15 8:49 p.m., Ed P wrote:

Sometimes there is little choice in what to drink with dinner. >>>>>>>> This was one of them.

I donated a pint of blood today so, my body is down a pint of
red fluid. -a-aThe only way I could find to make things right, >>>>>>>> replace it with an equal amount of red fluid.-a Pinot Noir did >>>>>>>> the job and I'm back in balance.

Thoughts and prayers Ed. Thoughts and prayers.

I usually do double red cells but today, my iron was down two
points below the minimum for it.-a I'll stock up on spinach.

Here's an idea. Saute the spinach with minced garlic to balance
things out. Then have another glass of the red stuff. ;)

https://postimg.cc/4KwZ0tv3

Jill

You party animal!

Bang a gong!

Get it on.

********
They hiked back up the hollow with Ian tramping in the lead, and when
he saw the gravel road, he advised them to dress. Winter's reply was
swift, rCLMy bare butt on the drivey seat of my Jeep. I'm on a roll,
and the sooner we're rolling the better. Ann, back seat, and Ian,
you're shotgun.rCY
.
All of Ian's concerns about Winter's driving were allayed by her
performance, which was slow, and deliberate, not at all manic. Even
the final descent into the vale, straddling a ravine in the washed
out road, didn't elicit fear, but praise, rCLGood driving. You
scratched up the driver's side of the Jeep pretty thoroughly.rCY
.
rCLSorry.rCY
.
rCLNo, you prioritized keeping the tires where they belonged even with
branches grinding against your side, and you didn't flinch. I
declare you quite the Jeepster.rCY
.
As they crawled along the old stream bed, Winter scanned the path
ahead before turning around and singing to Ann adoringly, rCLGirl, I'm
just a Jeepster for your luh-uh-uh-ove,rCY and looked ahead for a
moment before returning her attention to Ian.
.
Ann's gaze was fixed on Winter, and she didn't catch Ian's silently
mouthed words, rCLI'm gonna suck you.rCY

********

;-)

You got it.

https://youtu.be/FApi-kFFqUI?list=RDFApi-kFFqUI

And frankly your dialog and scripting is really quite good.

Yep, that's why old Chef is a best selling author of fine literature.


--- Synchronet 3.21b-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: alt.home.repair

On Mon, 16 Feb 2026 18:33:10 -0600
Hank Rogers <Hank@nospam.invalid> wrote:

Mars Sellus wrote on 2/16/2026 6:08 PM:

On Mon, 16 Feb 2026 17:56:57 -0600
Bryan Simmons <bryangsimmons@gmail.com> wrote:

On 2/16/2026 2:01 PM, Mars Sellus wrote:

On Mon, 16 Feb 2026 14:24:50 -0500
Ed Pawlowski <polskis@kilbasa.not> wrote:

In article <69936ae9$0$22$882e4bbb@reader.netnews.com>,
j_mcquown@comcast.net jmquown says...

On 2/15/2026 9:35 PM, Ed P wrote:

On 2/15/2026 9:32 PM, Dave Smith wrote:

On 2026-02-15 8:49 p.m., Ed P wrote:

Sometimes there is little choice in what to drink with
dinner. This was one of them.

I donated a pint of blood today so, my body is down a pint of >>>>>>>> red fluid. |e-a|e-aThe only way I could find to make things
right, replace it with an equal amount of red fluid.|e-a Pinot >>>>>>>> Noir did the job and I'm back in balance.

Thoughts and prayers Ed. Thoughts and prayers.

I usually do double red cells but today, my iron was down two
points below the minimum for it.|e-a I'll stock up on spinach.

Here's an idea. Saute the spinach with minced garlic to balance
things out. Then have another glass of the red stuff. ;)

https://postimg.cc/4KwZ0tv3

Jill

You party animal!

Bang a gong!

Get it on.

********
They hiked back up the hollow with Ian tramping in the lead, and
when he saw the gravel road, he advised them to dress. Winter's
reply was swift, |ore4+oMy bare butt on the drivey seat of my Jeep.
I'm on a roll, and the sooner we're rolling the better. Ann, back
seat, and Ian, you're shotgun.|ore4_
.
All of Ian's concerns about Winter's driving were allayed by her
performance, which was slow, and deliberate, not at all manic.
Even the final descent into the vale, straddling a ravine in the
washed out road, didn't elicit fear, but praise, |ore4+oGood driving.
You scratched up the driver's side of the Jeep pretty
thoroughly.|ore4_ .
|ore4+oSorry.|ore4_
.
|ore4+oNo, you prioritized keeping the tires where they belonged even
with branches grinding against your side, and you didn't flinch. I
declare you quite the Jeepster.|ore4_
.
As they crawled along the old stream bed, Winter scanned the path
ahead before turning around and singing to Ann adoringly, |ore4+oGirl,
I'm just a Jeepster for your luh-uh-uh-ove,|ore4_ and looked ahead
for a moment before returning her attention to Ian.
.
Ann's gaze was fixed on Winter, and she didn't catch Ian's silently
mouthed words, |ore4+oI'm gonna suck you.|ore4_

********

;-)

You got it.

https://youtu.be/FApi-kFFqUI?list=RDFApi-kFFqUI

And frankly your dialog and scripting is really quite good.

Yep, that's why old Chef is a best selling author of fine literature.

Lol if you wish. The writing may not be to your taste, but it is very
natural and playful.
--- Synchronet 3.21b-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: alt.home.repair

On 2/17/2026 11:43 AM, Mars Sellus wrote:

On Mon, 16 Feb 2026 18:33:10 -0600
Hank Rogers <Hank@nospam.invalid> wrote:

Mars Sellus wrote on 2/16/2026 6:08 PM:

On Mon, 16 Feb 2026 17:56:57 -0600
Bryan Simmons <bryangsimmons@gmail.com> wrote:

On 2/16/2026 2:01 PM, Mars Sellus wrote:

On Mon, 16 Feb 2026 14:24:50 -0500
Ed Pawlowski <polskis@kilbasa.not> wrote:

In article <69936ae9$0$22$882e4bbb@reader.netnews.com>,
j_mcquown@comcast.net jmquown says...

On 2/15/2026 9:35 PM, Ed P wrote:

On 2/15/2026 9:32 PM, Dave Smith wrote:

On 2026-02-15 8:49 p.m., Ed P wrote:

Sometimes there is little choice in what to drink with
dinner. This was one of them.

I donated a pint of blood today so, my body is down a pint of >>>>>>>>>> red fluid. |e-a|e-aThe only way I could find to make things >>>>>>>>>> right, replace it with an equal amount of red fluid.|e-a Pinot >>>>>>>>>> Noir did the job and I'm back in balance.

Thoughts and prayers Ed. Thoughts and prayers.

I usually do double red cells but today, my iron was down two
points below the minimum for it.|e-a I'll stock up on spinach.

Here's an idea. Saute the spinach with minced garlic to balance >>>>>>> things out. Then have another glass of the red stuff. ;)

https://postimg.cc/4KwZ0tv3

Jill

You party animal!

Bang a gong!

Get it on.

********
They hiked back up the hollow with Ian tramping in the lead, and
when he saw the gravel road, he advised them to dress. Winter's
reply was swift, |ore4+oMy bare butt on the drivey seat of my Jeep.
I'm on a roll, and the sooner we're rolling the better. Ann, back
seat, and Ian, you're shotgun.|ore4_
.
All of Ian's concerns about Winter's driving were allayed by her
performance, which was slow, and deliberate, not at all manic.
Even the final descent into the vale, straddling a ravine in the
washed out road, didn't elicit fear, but praise, |ore4+oGood driving.
You scratched up the driver's side of the Jeep pretty
thoroughly.|ore4_ .
|ore4+oSorry.|ore4_
.
|ore4+oNo, you prioritized keeping the tires where they belonged even
with branches grinding against your side, and you didn't flinch. I
declare you quite the Jeepster.|ore4_
.
As they crawled along the old stream bed, Winter scanned the path
ahead before turning around and singing to Ann adoringly, |ore4+oGirl, >>>> I'm just a Jeepster for your luh-uh-uh-ove,|ore4_ and looked ahead
for a moment before returning her attention to Ian.
.
Ann's gaze was fixed on Winter, and she didn't catch Ian's silently
mouthed words, |ore4+oI'm gonna suck you.|ore4_

********

;-)

You got it.

https://youtu.be/FApi-kFFqUI?list=RDFApi-kFFqUI

And frankly your dialog and scripting is really quite good.

Yep, that's why old Chef is a best selling author of fine literature.

Lol if you wish. The writing may not be to your taste, but it is very
natural and playful.

I put thousands of hours into it. Even if you might find the story
goofy, you should read it. It's very heavy on dialog, and the characters
have distinct voices. Rock 'n Roll is mentioned repeatedly, starting in
the first chapter. This is likely the longest excerpt I've ever posted here.

**********************************
"Ian, one more thing. There is almost zero chance that they'll guess
what's really going on, and if somehow they came to suspect that there
was some hanky-panky between us: number one, they wouldn't ask; number
two, they'd assume that it was just something that grew out of the
intimacy of the memoir project, because that's way more plausible; and finally, my parents are pretty sex positive. They don't use those
words, and they're not all militant like you, and I guess me too, but I
don't think they'd be upset. They'd just be surprised, very surprised,
and more by you being male than the age difference. It's funny. I've
always called myself bisexual, and have even said repeatedly that
eventually I'll settle down and marry some nice man, but I don't think
either of them believe it. They think it's another of my running jokes.
So now you know that it wouldn't be the end of the world, lighten up,
and get to know my dad."
.
"Unlimited beer," said Ian.
.
"Yeah, and I'm going to be there too. Besides, there doesn't even have
to be lots of talking, because I know he'll be content to listen to
Rock'n Roll. You like a lot of the same stuff. By the end of the
night, you two'll be back slappin' drinkin' buddies."
.
"Your father doesn't really get handsy when he drinks?"
.
"Ian, dude," Winter snorted," "you're going to fit right in, and no, he doesn't get '*handsy*'." With feigned exasperation, Winter repeated, "'Handsy'. You know you're by far the handsiest person I've ever been
with, and I might add, the kissiest too."
.
"That sounds good."
.
"Don't have to ask *you* twice." Winter took off her shirt, and her
left hand massaged her right shoulder for a second to indicate a tight
muscle place, "Right here." Ian started kneading firmly, and Winter
asked him, "Why do you think so many people are skeptical when a person
says they're bi? It's not like bragging. I mean it would be, and maybe
could be, but it's not like it gets you any respect."
.
"That's changing, Winter. I've always envied bisexuals, not in a
jealous way, or at least not resentful. I think it's hard for both gay
and straight folks to understand. They have to get outside the box of
their own attractions, and when bi persons end up pair bonding, they
think you've finally grown up and found your true self, that you'd been
that way all along, and you just needed to grow up. It reminds me of
the vaginal orgasm myth."
.
Winter turned her head to look at him, "It *is* like that, and I'm glad
that you flew off the handle at me the other day, with Delia, the 'girl
talk' thing. You were right, and so was I."
.
"How?"
.
"It was about you being unafraid, but the thing you weren't scared of is
the truth. You know there are little lies that are necessary, right?"
.
"Of course."
.
"You need to accept that what we're keeping from my parents really is a
little lie, and it's not your lie. It's mine, and it's a technicality,
*my* technicality. I'm the one with something to lose. You do get that?"
.
"I can't take any pleasure in dishonesty."
.
"Of course not. I don't either, but almost, and not even almost, no one
tells everything."
.
"You're asking me to be false."
.
"No, I'm asking you to be true, and a big truth is that a big reason
that this is working is that it's not just about me pleasing you
physically, but you pleasing me, and you like that. I'm starting to
regret talking to you instead of just...ooh yeah, right there. Talk
less, pet more."
.
Ian understood what was going wrong in his head. He'd allowed himself
to wallow in situational fantasies where Winter had less agency, less of
her own life, and all he could do in this moment was to give feel good
back rubs, with no goal other than bringing her body comfort, massaging
away any tensions, including those that he might have induced. Winter
wasn't giving up anything of herself, and Ian realized that he could
never ask that of her. Her wages were a ticket into her world, and it
was a package. He might divert a certain number of hours, but Winter
belonged to no one but herself. It was clear. Other than the sexual obligations, she expected equal power in their dealings, and he thought, "That's what I've always wanted anyway."
.
Ian directed every touch toward her desires, avoiding erogenous areas
with the same discipline he'd practiced on Lauren, with her migraines,
but extending outward with his hands, straying away from the back, neck
and head. Ian had little idea where Winter wanted this to go, but she
seemed more than compliant. He momentarily risked breaking the spell to explore his fascinations with the details, the minutiae of her body, but
it wasn't working perfectly, and he refocused on her need for affection,
his touchings washing over her like the smooth waves in an isolated lagoon.
.
Winter became completely passive, but it was obvious that there was no resignation, only contentment, and Ian again proceeded to map her body,
to gain knowledge. Each finger was unique, and every little bone a
thrill to touch. Winter knew that he wasn't evaluating, not holding her
to any standard. That first night, in the artificiality of that
circumstance, she'd gotten a lighter version. Then it was the adoration
of her face that seemed overly personal, but the session turned out to
be not as intrusive as it had seemed those first several minutes. *I
knew exactly what I was signing up for*.
.
Ian fell asleep, spooned against her back. He was snoring when the
phone rang, and he woke with a start. Winter handed him the phone, and
he answered, "Hello?" "Hey, Ethan." "Well, happy Christmas to you
too." "I'm doing fine." "I am. In fact, she's lying next to me right
now, as naked as the moment she was born."
.
"Give me that phone," demanded Winter. "Ethan, Hi, this is Winter."
"Pleased to make your acquaintance as well, but I want to set things
straight. I'm wearing a ring on my pinky finger, the left one, I have
nail polish on my toenails, and a small, but very pink scrunchie in my
hair, none of which I was born with." "I just don't like it when he exaggerates." "Is that what he told you? I'd like to think that's
true." "Your father is motioning for me to return the phone. You take
care."
Winter handed the phone back to Ian. "You see what I meant?" "Only
half believed me? As I recall, the only time I ever deceived you was
with Stripey, and you were three. Remember 'way up high'?" "I'm not
certain that I'm comfortable with the word, 'excuse,' but yeah."
"Everyone's well. How are you doing?" "OK, you were never much for
long phone conversations." "Bye, I love you."
.
Winter wondered aloud, "Stripey?"
.
"It was a rubber salamander. We used to play this game where he got on
top of the couch, and I'd be holding Stripey. He'd tumble down, and I'd employ a sleight of hand where I'd make it disappear, and ask, 'Where is Stripey?' Then I'd say that we'd better look for him. As we looked all
over the house, I'd secret it somewhere, and we'd keep searching, and
end up finding it somewhere. I'd ask him how he thought that Stripey
got there, and he'd come up with these magical ideas like, 'He went
under the floor.' He never figured it out until I finally, after many
months of playing the game, revealed to him how I'd done it."
.
Next, Winter asked, "What about, 'Excuse'?"
.
"He told me that I was a pretty decent excuse for a dad."
.
"So, what's he doing in Japan?"
.
"He's a part-time student, and a semi-pro skateboarder. He's really
good, but the only reason he can afford to do it is that he has money of
his own. Maybe that's not fair. He's got sponsors, but that money
wouldn't cover his comfortable lifestyle. He seems happy, but he took
his mother's death even harder than I did. I never minded that he was
more connected to her than he was to me until she died."
.
"You seem pretty comfortable with that."
.
"Why wouldn't I be? It seems like the natural order of things, and not
only because my relationship with my mother was healthy, and it wasn't
with my Dad, and I'm not downplaying the importance of fathers, but
females just tend to be more affiliative."
.
"It seems kind of sad that it didn't bring you closer."
.
"In a way, it did. The first several months, and even until he left for college, we were closer than we'd been since he was three or four years
old, but one thing that we could do for each other was to trust that we
were both strong enough to move on, that she had given us that strength.
In that way, we were holding onto her in exactly the way we both knew
she'd have wanted. Winter, rCLI never wished that I'd died instead, but
that would have been easier on him, and I know that, accept it; I don't
blame him one bit for valuing her life over mine. We both loved her
more than we loved each other, and Winter, I'm well aware of the
temporary nature of our relationship, if we can even call it that, but
what I told my son is that you are a spectacular human being. If you
want me to do Christmas with your family, who am I to question your
judgment?"
.
"You're so wordy."
.
"And handsy, right?"
.
"Right," said Winter, "and you do know what they say about idle hands?"
.
"I know there must be ways to find out."
.
Winter gave Ian a funny look, then remembered the night they'd met, and
her mind flooded with connections. "What I meant was, we need to pack
first. Then you can be as handsy and kissy as pleases you."
.
The plan was for Ian to arrive at some unspecific time between noon and
two. Winter had helped put the barrel of beer into the car, which was
in the garage where he surmised that it would stay cold, but not dip
below freezing. When he arrived a little after 1:30, he used the brass knocker, rather than the doorbell. Richard answered, and invited him
inside. Winter was at the dining room table with her mother, her
brother and his wife, and a Scrabble board. The game had just begun,
and there were only two words on the board. Natalie had played first,
scoring 40 points for LATEX. Chloe had played on the X, making HELIX on
a double word score for 30. When Winter saw Ian, she asked everyone to
hold off play while she showed him her tiles. He bent down and she
whispered something, while looking at the board, and he smiled. Eric,
who was seated just to her left said, "I don't like the look of that,"
and being cautious, merely played ZORI, for 31.
.
Winter quickly rearranged her letters. They weren't using a timer, but
had agreed to keep the game moving. Then she punched her fist in the
air and exclaimed, "Yes!" Starting just below the O in ZORI, she placed
an N, then a P, and an A on the double letter square, before spelling
out NONPAREIL. "That's 33, plus 50, for 83."
.
Eric seemed perplexed, "You couldn't have known I'd open that up. What
else did you have?"
.
"Nothing in particular."
.
rCLThen what was the secrecy all about?"
.
"Tell him, Ian."
.
"She said to watch how nervous you'd get when you saw her whispering to me."
.
While Ian was speaking to Eric, Winter and Chloe shared smiles that
erupted into laughter.
.
When Ian turned around, Richard said, "Welcome to the funhouse."
.
Ian answered, "And I have a large can of beer in the car." They left
house through the sliding glass doors in the back of the dining room,
where just outside, Richard had positioned a dolly for the keg. "Your daughter has a way with words."
.
"Yes, she does. She's told me that she can't talk about your personal
life because of the memoir, but do you mind if I ask how that's going?"
.
"Not at all, and it's going well, albeit slowly. She insists on
focusing on introspection, rather than narrative, and I think it'll be
quite unlike anything I've ever read. Sometimes it's almost like a
therapy session. Her idea is to delineate as much as possible the
events as I experienced them, and my later perspectives on my past, and
has reminded me numerous times that I'm not famous, so the bar has to be
set much higher than usual." After opening the passenger side door, and unbuckling the seat belt, Ian took out the keg, and placed it on the
hand truck.
.
"What is it?" asked Richard.
.
"Tasmanian hopped IPA."
.
"Does Winter know?"
.
"I'm sure she does. I needed her help loading it into the car. Anyway,
you'd asked about the book. The idea was to record the interesting
events of my life, and it was mostly supposed to be funny, but Winter
said that to fully engage the reader, I had to make it easy for one to
put himself in my place, and that comedy without tragedy risks making me
a caricature. She even used the words, "'gonzo', and 'goofball'."
.
"Ouch," said Richard.
.
"She was right, though. It might be difficult to reconcile other
aspects of my life with, as she called it, 'mild mannered librarian'."
.
Ian slid the door open for Richard. The beer fridge was in the corner
of the dining room. He hadn't noticed it on the way out because the
spigot had been concealed by a faux leather cover. Once placed inside, Richard hooked up the tubes, and moved a lever. After a sharp, hissing
sound, Richard said, "Success," and closed the door.
.
Ian thought, "Indeed." Winter had told him to wing it, and the previous evening, while she was here with her family, doing the Christmas Eve
things, he had mused on how it would be if the memoir was the real
*raison de l'emploi*, rather than a ruse. Then he'd taken it to the
next level, a suspension of disbelief, where the project was a reality.
.
Winter had a term for this, "Situational fantasy." Only two days
before, she had encouraged him to reveal his sexual fantasies, saying
that this was something she needed to be a success, and after disclosing
to the extent he felt comfortable with, she'd declared him to be,
"French vanilla." She'd also said they were well matched, in that their daydreams were relationship-oriented, with the assumption that the
mechanics of sex were absurdly simple, and the physical sensations
nearly always enjoyable.
.
She'd gotten him to open up about dominance and submission, again, with
the idea that this was "need-to-know," and said that she was glad that
he was, as she put it, "well balanced," and that his occasional
wanderings into depersonalization were normal, socio-biologically
hardwired, and that the main threat to their arrangement lie in any
inability on his part to keep perspective on what her role was in his
life. He'd felt that he was in a strange sort of probationary period.
Winter had told him up front that she was at least his equal, and every
day had proven that more true.
.
Richard asked, "Want to help set the table?"
.
Ian, quite pleased with not being treated as a guest, smiled and said,
"Sure."
.
"They're going to be a while, and the turkey is done. Winter said she
told you about our Thanksgiving at Christmas tradition." Richard
laughed, "Tradition. We've been doing it for about a dozen years. That
was several years before I'd met Tally. None of us liked ham, and we
usually made a turkey anyway, but Eric suggested that we have the meal
be a second Thanksgiving, because that was his favorite holiday, and so
I just ran with that, and even camped up the whole thing." Richard
motioned, "C'mon, check this out." Ian followed to the kitchen, and on
the counter was a turkey centerpiece wearing a Santa hat. Richard
picked it up and headed for the living room, announcing its arrival with
a, "Ho, ho, ho."
.
Winter jumped up from her chair, and started strutting around like a
crazed turkey, yelling, "Gobble-Gobble-Ho!, Gobble-Gobble Ho!"
.
Richard joined in the chant, holding the absurd centerpiece aloft as if
it were an object of veneration, and Ian added his voice,
"Gobble-Gobble-Ho!" Winter ignored Eric and Natalie, while she focused
her attentions on Chloe, and Richard and Ian cheered her on.
.
In spite of her husband's silent pleas to resist, Chloe rose to the
occasion, stepping high and flapping, "Gobble-Gobble-Ho!"
.
After things settled down, Richard suggested that the Scrabble game
continue, while he and Ian took care of the dinner. "Was that
spontaneous?" Ian asked Richard.
.
"No, but it was two years ago. I think you just witnessed the
establishment, or cementing of a new tradition." Then he stuck his head
out the archway and declared, "No more will the sane half of this family
have the faintest of hopes of quashing the ritual of the Turkey Claus."

Winter affirmed with a stern, "Gobble-Gobble-Ho."

Ian put out the dishes and flatware, while Richard fetched the bird. It
was rather small, and the meal wasn't as extensive as the typical
Thanksgiving feast. The stuffing was done in the turkey, and the sides consisted of Southern style green beans with potatoes, with plenty of
bacon, cranberry sauce, corn, and bread, with plenty of butter. Before slicing the turkey, Richard cut off a wing tip for Ian, "Winter said you
love these." As everyone made their way to their seats, Richard asked,
"Who's having beer?"
.
Winter waved her hands as she said, "Me, me, me, me."
.
Eric replied, "Maybe later," and with Chloe and Tally, opted for the
iced green tea.
.
Richard retrieved three very large mugs from the freezer, and Winter
swooped. She filled her glass and took a drink before turning to face
her father with a foam moustache, barking out in a gruff voice, "License
and proof of insurance, son."
.
Winter, Ian and Richard had claimed the side of the oval table that was nearest the beer, and the meagerness of their dinners more than
suggested that they weren't intending to fill up on food. Eric had gone
the other route. With his drumstick, he reminded Winter of pictures of
Henry the VIII, something she didn't hesitate to share. Chloe wasn't
far behind, with her eating-for-two situation.
.
Ian's plate was topped with a wing tip, over a large serving of green
beans. He had carefully dodged the chunks of potato. Winter noticed
her mother glancing at his plate and said, "I know I'm not supposed to
speak about your personal life, Ian, but my mom seems concerned to the
point of distress. You see everyone, Ian is leading a double life, and
his alter-ego is a supermodel."
.
Ian gestured to Eric's overloaded plate and declared, "Better that than
a bulbous, 16th century monarch with a penchant for beheadings."
.
Ian had finished first, and Winter made small talk until Richard
finished, then she stood, extended her arms in ceremonial fashion, and
lifted Turkey Claus from its honored spot, and placed it on the top of
the beer fridge, then reaching behind, unplugged it, and began to roll
it, first into the living room, then taking a sharp left. "Where," Ian
asked Richard, "is she taking the beer?"
.
"I have my suspicions, but I say we'd best follow." Richard knew
exactly where she was headed. That morning they'd moved the sound
system from the living room into the guest bedroom, which he used
day-to-day as his office, though he did as little work there as
possible. For someone who dealt with computers for a living, Richard's
home computer was an entertainment device, and most of that
entertainment was what he referred to as, "useless knowledge."
.
Ian was all for going with the flow. Winter was juggling fire, and it occurred to him that creating a bond between he and her family, if done
well, would optimize her own experience, and that the only reason she'd
do that, bother to, was to further the likelihood of carrying their
agreement to term. Winter had called herself, "fast," and while she'd
used that word in jest, he knew that she'd seldom fail to play with
language in her own head, and brightened when others picked up on double meanings. She was fasting him, involving him in her life, asserting independence while happily acceding to her role as sexual playmate.
.
Ian noticed that there was a daybed along the wall that had a window.
It was made up for sleeping, and he assumed that was intended for his
use. There was a desk with a computer, and a pair of speakers that were overlarge for the midsized room. Ian surveyed his surroundings as
Winter plugged in the rolling beer dispenser. There were three chairs,
two of which matched those from the dining room, and it seemed likely
that they'd been brought in for this occasion.
.
"We're rockin' boys. DJ Winter is in the house. I've taken the time
and care to compare your collections, and have drawn only from material
which you both own to generate a best-of-the-best. Best to me, that is,
but I'm sure you'll enjoy." Winter went to the computer and pulled up
her folder. "Gotta go," said Winter, and she left the room and closed
the door behind her. When Johnny B. Goode began, even Richard was
surprised at the volume. When the song ended, Winter opened the door.
She'd brought new frosted mugs, and filled one for each of them. "To
fine men, strong men, whom women ought not fear." The vessels were
clinked, and Winter again left the room without any explanation.
.
The mood in the room was uneasy, and then a song so familiar caught the downdraft. "Hello darkness, my old friend." When the song ended,
Richard, almost apologetically, said, "Ian, I don't know what she was thinking."
.
"I do. We're both widowers, and we've known loneliness."
.
"I caught that,rCY said Richard, rCLbut I've never known her to be that insensitive."
.
"She's doing her job, and I guess she's a bit too green to make the distinction between on and off the clock. My feelings, Richard...I ask
her to make me remember, and not just to help me, but to *make* me."
Ian breathed deeply, and exhaled with a drawn out huff. "She also told
me that she thought we'd enjoy each others' company."
.
Just then, the door opened, and Eric walked in with a large glass that
looked to Ian more like a flower vase. He gave a slight nod to Ian,
then headed for the tap. He filled it to near the top, then battled the
foam like a child with an ice cream cone on a hot summer day, finally
leaning back to catch the overflow on the front of his shirt as he said, "Whoa." Winter, who had followed him into the room, pointed at the
stain and said, "You have twenty-one year-old college boy written all
over you." Eric would have cut his losses and escaped with what was
well over a pint, but Winter blocked him. "Not so fast, brother. It's uber-rude to snatch a beer and duck out, and since you stubbornly
refused to sing for your supper, I insist that you dance for your
drink." Eric looked to his father, and got exactly the support he was expecting, as Richard sidled in front of the egress. Eric rolled his
eyes, but they were smiling along with the rest of his face. Winter
tapped a few keys and when the song that was queued up blasted from the speakers, she lip synched the lyrics. Eric had wisely set down his
drink, and was dancing as minimally as he thought he could get away
with, but when the second chorus began, Winter became aggressive,
pretending to shove him as he became self-protective, "Hey, Carrie Ann.
What's your game now? Can anybody play?" Then Winter jumped back,
lifted her heels to give herself a scant three more inches, and pointed
at Eric as she shouted, "You're so, so like a woman to me."
.
Chloe had opened the door several seconds earlier, but no one but
Richard had noticed until she pealed, the sound of which made Eric seem
to cower before Winter's accusation, and he fell back, his father having
to break his fall, and both of them ending up backing onto the daybed.
Winter clapped, then high-fived first Ian, then Chloe. Richard tousled
his son's hair as he scrunched himself into a cross-armed submissive
posture, his eyes flitting back and forth between Winter and Chloe,
suggesting a need for protection.
.
As the final chord sounded, Winter hit the space bar, and Eric, still cowering, turned to Richard and asked pitifully, "May I be excused?"
.
Richard gave Winter a questioning glance, and she said, "Aw, let him go.
If I had a girl like her, I wouldn't want to be in here either. Don't forget your beer, Eric."
.
Eric hugged his sister, then shook Ian's hand before retrieving his
glass. Chloe, still grinning, fluttered her fingers, "Bye," before
taking her husband's hand and guiding him to the quieter areas of the house.
.
Eric closed the door on the way out, and Winter asked Ian, "You want to
get high?"
.
"Weed?" Ian asked.
.
"Well, yeah. You're obviously not driving."
.
Richard hadn't expected this. Winter had, he guessed, assumed that he
had some when she'd offered, but he didn't. "Winter, I don't have any."
.
"I do," said Winter.
.
"Where'd *you* get it?"
.
"Dad. Just because I don't like to smoke doesn't mean I don't know
where to get it.rCY Winter unzipped her purse, and handed the bag to
Richard. rCLMerry Christmas. So Ian?"
.
Ian shrugged and said, "OK."
.
Winter got up and opened the door, saying, "I'll go get Mom."
.
Natalie was on the living room couch reading. She heard footsteps, and
turned to see who it was. "Dad and Ian are going to get high and I've
got great music lined up."
.
"You what?"
.
"C'mon, Mom. It's Christmas, and you're out here by yourself. We're
done with being loud."
.
Natalie was surprised, and the way that her daughter had phrased the invitation made it clear that Winter wasn't partaking. Winter extended
her hand, and said, "I love you, Mom," then led her down the hall.
.
While the other three smoked, Winter punched up her mellow set, then reconsidered, deciding instead to play the entire album, "Can't Buy a
Thrill." The music was perfect for the mood, and there was the
additional aspect of the title, something that she knew Ian wouldn't
fail to note, and she paused the music at the end of the A-side.
.
"Oh, some good news," Winter said. "You won't have to drive Eric and
Chloe to the train because Ian and I are going with them as far as New
Mexico. I'm going to help him document his last vacation with his family."
.
After a brief silence, Ian said, "Don't think that Winter's being
flippant about my grief. I need her to be dispassionate. I greatly
value her objectivity. She's never been unkind."
.
Winter wasn't hiding the fact that she was quite pleased with herself.
"Ian's high."
.
Natalie was thinking that she should say something about having raised
Winter better than that, but started laughing, and said, "We're all
high, and it's not much of a gift if it was for your own entertainment."
.
"You're right, Mom, and I confess to the ulterior motive. Ian said that
it made him stupid, and Mr. Meadows might well be the smartest person
I've ever met, present company excluded, especially me." Before anyone
came up with a reply, she started the music again, and "Reelin' in the
Years" preempted any reply. Without leaving her chair, Winter acted out
every emotion she was able to derive from the song, going into
character, mouthing lyrics, and transfixing the others with the density
of her emotions. When the album ended, she told them that she'd been cautioned, "The guy said this was seriously potent," and added, "I guess
I should have mentioned that. Any requests?"
.
Richard answered, "Traffic."
.
"Excellent choice, Dad." Winter was feeling pleased with her purchase. Marijuana made her feel icky, but she enjoyed its effects on others in
just this setting, with deep music and no expectations. "*High heeled
boys*."
**********************************

There are people here who really dislike it when I post this stuff. :-)
--
--Bryan https://www.instagram.com/bryangsimmons/

For your safety and protection, this sig. has been thoroughly
tested on laboratory animals.

"Most of the food described here is nauseating.
We're just too courteous to say so."
-- Cindy Hamilton
--- Synchronet 3.21b-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: alt.home.repair

On Tue, 17 Feb 2026 13:09:56 -0600
Bryan Simmons <bryangsimmons@gmail.com> wrote:

Lol if you wish. The writing may not be to your taste, but it is
very natural and playful.

I put thousands of hours into it. Even if you might find the story
goofy, you should read it. It's very heavy on dialog, and the
characters have distinct voices. Rock 'n Roll is mentioned
repeatedly, starting in the first chapter.

Let's get you some takers then, have you got a link to purchase it from?


--- Synchronet 3.21b-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: alt.home.repair

On 2/17/2026 1:20 PM, Mars Sellus wrote:

On Tue, 17 Feb 2026 13:09:56 -0600
Bryan Simmons <bryangsimmons@gmail.com> wrote:

Lol if you wish. The writing may not be to your taste, but it is
very natural and playful.

I put thousands of hours into it. Even if you might find the story
goofy, you should read it. It's very heavy on dialog, and the
characters have distinct voices. Rock 'n Roll is mentioned
repeatedly, starting in the first chapter.

Let's get you some takers then, have you got a link to purchase it from?

Free. Shoot an email to BRYANGSIMMONS at GMAIL.COM, and I will send a
copy in MS Word format. I guarantee none of the other folks on r.f.c
would read it.
--
--Bryan https://www.instagram.com/bryangsimmons/

For your safety and protection, this sig. has been thoroughly
tested on laboratory animals.

"Most of the food described here is nauseating.
We're just too courteous to say so."
-- Cindy Hamilton
--- Synchronet 3.21b-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: alt.home.repair

On Tue, 17 Feb 2026 15:21:27 -0600
Bryan Simmons <bryangsimmons@gmail.com> wrote:

On 2/17/2026 1:20 PM, Mars Sellus wrote:

On Tue, 17 Feb 2026 13:09:56 -0600
Bryan Simmons <bryangsimmons@gmail.com> wrote:

Lol if you wish. The writing may not be to your taste, but it is
very natural and playful.

I put thousands of hours into it. Even if you might find the story
goofy, you should read it. It's very heavy on dialog, and the
characters have distinct voices. Rock 'n Roll is mentioned
repeatedly, starting in the first chapter.

Let's get you some takers then, have you got a link to purchase it
from?

Free. Shoot an email to BRYANGSIMMONS at GMAIL.COM, and I will send a
copy in MS Word format. I guarantee none of the other folks on r.f.c
would read it.

Nothing is ever really "free" - what say you just put it up on Scribd?

--- Synchronet 3.21b-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: alt.home.repair

Bryan Simmons wrote on 2/17/2026 3:21 PM:

On 2/17/2026 1:20 PM, Mars Sellus wrote:

On Tue, 17 Feb 2026 13:09:56 -0600
Bryan Simmons <bryangsimmons@gmail.com> wrote:

Lol if you wish. The writing may not be to your taste, but it is
very natural and playful.

I put thousands of hours into it. Even if you might find the story
goofy, you should read it. It's very heavy on dialog, and the
characters have distinct voices. Rock 'n Roll is mentioned
repeatedly, starting in the first chapter.

Let's get you some takers then, have you got a link to purchase it from?

Free. Shoot an email to BRYANGSIMMONS at GMAIL.COM, and I will send a
copy in MS Word format. I guarantee none of the other folks on r.f.c
would read it.

I guess that means you won't let me have a copy, right Chef? I guess
the only way I can read about the crazy shit Winter does is from your excerpts.

But I have to ask ... if you don't want people on rfc to read your
"book", why do you post it here to these goddamn ingrates? It doesn't
make sense.

--- Synchronet 3.21b-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: alt.home.repair

Mars Sellus wrote on 2/17/2026 3:34 PM:

On Tue, 17 Feb 2026 15:21:27 -0600
Bryan Simmons <bryangsimmons@gmail.com> wrote:

On 2/17/2026 1:20 PM, Mars Sellus wrote:

On Tue, 17 Feb 2026 13:09:56 -0600
Bryan Simmons <bryangsimmons@gmail.com> wrote:

Lol if you wish. The writing may not be to your taste, but it is
very natural and playful.

I put thousands of hours into it. Even if you might find the story
goofy, you should read it. It's very heavy on dialog, and the
characters have distinct voices. Rock 'n Roll is mentioned
repeatedly, starting in the first chapter.

Let's get you some takers then, have you got a link to purchase it
from?

Free. Shoot an email to BRYANGSIMMONS at GMAIL.COM, and I will send a
copy in MS Word format. I guarantee none of the other folks on r.f.c
would read it.

Nothing is ever really "free" - what say you just put it up on Scribd?

Nope, Chef is adamant that people on RFC not be able to read his secret
book!

You are a fool for balking at his generous offer to get the damn thing free!

--- Synchronet 3.21b-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: alt.home.repair

On Tue, 17 Feb 2026 16:32:59 -0600
Hank Rogers <Hank@nospam.invalid> wrote:

Mars Sellus wrote on 2/17/2026 3:34 PM:

On Tue, 17 Feb 2026 15:21:27 -0600
Bryan Simmons <bryangsimmons@gmail.com> wrote:

On 2/17/2026 1:20 PM, Mars Sellus wrote:

On Tue, 17 Feb 2026 13:09:56 -0600
Bryan Simmons <bryangsimmons@gmail.com> wrote:

Lol if you wish. The writing may not be to your taste, but it is
very natural and playful.

I put thousands of hours into it. Even if you might find the
story goofy, you should read it. It's very heavy on dialog, and
the characters have distinct voices. Rock 'n Roll is mentioned
repeatedly, starting in the first chapter.

Let's get you some takers then, have you got a link to purchase it
from?

Free. Shoot an email to BRYANGSIMMONS at GMAIL.COM, and I will
send a copy in MS Word format. I guarantee none of the other folks
on r.f.c would read it.

Nothing is ever really "free" - what say you just put it up on
Scribd?

Nope, Chef is adamant that people on RFC not be able to read his
secret book!

You are a fool for balking at his generous offer to get the damn
thing free!

Ikr...

But taking in a .doc at face value from anyone is just begging to get a
virus attached.

--- Synchronet 3.21b-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: alt.home.repair

On 2/17/2026 4:23 PM, Hank Rogers wrote:

Bryan Simmons wrote on 2/17/2026 3:21 PM:

On 2/17/2026 1:20 PM, Mars Sellus wrote:

On Tue, 17 Feb 2026 13:09:56 -0600
Bryan Simmons <bryangsimmons@gmail.com> wrote:

Lol if you wish. The writing may not be to your taste, but it is
very natural and playful.

I put thousands of hours into it. Even if you might find the story
goofy, you should read it. It's very heavy on dialog, and the
characters have distinct voices. Rock 'n Roll is mentioned
repeatedly, starting in the first chapter.

Let's get you some takers then, have you got a link to purchase it from? >>>

Free. Shoot an email to BRYANGSIMMONS at GMAIL.COM, and I will send a
copy in MS Word format. I guarantee none of the other folks on r.f.c
would read it.

I guess that means you won't let me have a copy, right Chef?-a I guess
the only way I can read about the crazy shit Winter does is from your excerpts.

But I have to ask ... if you don't want people on rfc to read your
"book", why do you post it here to these goddamn ingrates?-a It doesn't
make sense.

Anyone can have a copy. I assume you don't actually want it. My wife
suggested posting it serialized to this NG. I'm sure that you and the
Dried Up Old Cunt Sisters would not like that.
--
--Bryan https://www.instagram.com/bryangsimmons/

For your safety and protection, this sig. has been thoroughly
tested on laboratory animals.

"Most of the food described here is nauseating.
We're just too courteous to say so."
-- Cindy Hamilton
--- Synchronet 3.21b-Linux NewsLink 1.2