From Newsgroup: alt.bible


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/||\'._ __{}_( Spamalot Praise Police
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| \-'`:._]
\__/; '-. Wicked Word Watch - Potty Mouth Patrol
| |o __ \
| |o )( |
| |o \/ \ KUSS KRIMINAL KLADIATOR RAP SHEET


KrispyRose the Gospel Gator
---------------------------

In the shadowy recesses of the subterranean BBQ pit, where the air is
thick with the scent of charred flesh and the echoes of unholy
incantations, lurks KrispyRose, the gospel gator. This imperial
henchman and gospel mutilator is no ordinary creature; he is a
neoconservative nightmare, a grotesque amalgamation of biblical fervor
and culinary malevolence. With scales that shimmer like the crispest
woodcuts and eyes that gleam with the malevolence of Rasalgethis
himself, KrispyRose prowls the transepts of his dark dominion, ready to
unleash his terrifying powers upon the unsuspecting.

KrispyRose wields the magical power of the Bible Thumping Machine, a contraption that emits a cacophony of supernatural tongue-lashings,
each verse a curse that can scare his foes to death. The machine, a
grotesque fusion of gears and holy texts, sluiced with the blood of the unrepentant, resonates with a baritone that can trigger primal fears.
When activated, it unleashes a symphony of doom, echoing through the
plaza of despair, drowning out the cries of the damned with its
relentless proclamations of eternal torment in fire and brimstone.

His weapon of choice, the infamous Salvation Sabre, is a blade forged
in the fires of sacrilege, capable of cleaving through flesh and spirit
alike. With a single stroke, KrispyRose can reduce his victims to
trinities of meat, their souls reamed into three pieces, a grotesque
testament to the supernatural nature of his blade. Each swing is
accompanied by a ballet of death, a dance of destruction that leaves
behind only the remnants of what once was, as if the very essence of
his foes has been extracted and repurposed for his dark whims.

KrispyRose is not merely a savage enforcer; he is a master of
psychological warfare. His incantations, delivered with the precision
of a Listerine commercial, are designed to instill dread and despair.
He can manipulate the minds of the weak, redistricting their thoughts
into a labyrinth of fear, while his foes are left to grapple with the existential dread of their own mortality. The very air around him
crackles with a palpable tension, as if the universe itself is aware of
the horrors he can unleash.

In his presence, the world seems to warp and twist, as if the fabric of
reality is being rewritten by his malevolent will. The air grows thick
with the scent of burnt offerings, and the shadows lengthen, as if they
are trying to escape the grasp of this monstrous being. His laughter, a chilling sound that echoes through the darkness, is a reminder that
hope is but a fleeting illusion in the face of such overwhelming evil.

KrispyRose, the gospel gator, is a creature of nightmares, a harbinger
of doom who revels in the chaos he creates. With his magical powers and insatiable hunger for destruction, he stands as a testament to the
darkest corners of the human soul, a reminder that sometimes, the most terrifying monsters are those that walk among us, cloaked in the guise
of righteousness. He is a reminder that in the battle between good and
evil, the line is often blurred, and sometimes, the most terrifying
monsters are those that wear the guise of righteousness.


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