From Newsgroup: uk.media.radio.archers

You can't say you weren't warned.

What is this obsession with my name. I am Mr Whitbread.

I go to the dentist yesterday - I announce myself and they want my name.
I have given them my name.

Then along at the doctor's to have my eyes tested the system gives my
first name so they use that. I do not want to be addressed by my first
name.

This morning I am trying to get some sense out of GWR (an almost
impossible task I admit) who want to know my full name. Why?

When insurers and so on phone they think they can ask for my full name
(I assume as part of their identity check) and then feel they can use my
first names to talk to me.

What happened to politeness and treating individuals as adults. I am
not their friend, they are not mine - what is this obsession with using forenames and how do I stop it. It is a professional relationship and I believe that is underpinned by using respectful form of address.
--
Kosmo Richard W
www.travelswmw.whitnet.uk
https://tinyurl.com/KRWpics
--- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: uk.media.radio.archers

On 2025/10/7 9:1:46, Kosmo wrote:

You can't say you weren't warned.

What is this obsession with my name. I am Mr Whitbread.

Very much with you there. (Well, I am not Mr. Whitbread, but YKWIM.)

I go to the dentist yesterday - I announce myself and they want my name.
I have given them my name.

Then along at the doctor's to have my eyes tested the system gives my
first name so they use that. I do not want to be addressed by my first name.

At least at my surgery they use the full name (well, first name and
surname).>

This morning I am trying to get some sense out of GWR (an almost
impossible task I admit) who want to know my full name. Why?

I have always tried just to enter my initials. Sometimes the syntax
checker will accept full stops, sometimes it won't (sometimes not even a space). But in the last year or two (not sure), I've found an increasing
number of online forms that _will_ accept "Mr. J. P." as a forename. Of
course, that results in emails (and post) starting "dear Mr. J. P." (or,
more irritatingly, "Dear Jp" from the ones that wouldn't even accept
"J P"), but that does have the advantage that I immediately know which correspondence has been autogenerated.

When insurers and so on phone they think they can ask for my full name > (I assume as part of their identity check) and then feel they can use my

Yes, I grudgingly accept that for that reason, but not

first names to talk to me.

that aspect.
I have the additional bugbear that they usually mispronounce my surname
(they say the G as in gift rather than gin - our branch uses the
latter). I wouldn't mind when they've just seen it, but when I've just
given it, it's irritating: if actually face-to-face and feeling grumpy,
and I know what _their_ name is (e. g. from a nametag), I mispronounce
_their_ name!

What happened to politeness and treating individuals as adults. I am
not their friend, they are not mine - what is this obsession with using forenames and how do I stop it. It is a professional relationship and I believe that is underpinned by using respectful form of address.

YA very much NAOU. To be fair, it's a UK/US difference: AIUI, using
forenames is the norm there, and implies no disrespect; and certainly,
that will be the reason where software is concerned (like insisting on
your address including a city). But where it has spread to
person-to-person communication, I agree it does seem rude, or at least condescending or uncaring.
--
J. P. Gilliver. UMRA: 1960/<1985 MB++G()ALIS-Ch++(p)Ar++T+H+Sh0!:`)DNAf
--- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: uk.media.radio.archers

On Oct 7, 2025 at 4:01:46 AM EDT, "Kosmo" <krw@whitnet.uk> wrote:

What happened to politeness and treating individuals as adults. I am
not their friend, they are not mine - what is this obsession with using forenames and how do I stop it. It is a professional relationship and I believe that is underpinned by using respectful form of address.

Actually, I'm completely the opposite. I don't ever want to be called "Mr Blaney". I think there are a couple of reasons. One is that I still feel like
a very young person inside, and so I'm not entirely sure that they're talking to me and not my dad. The other is that historically those who got "Mr" and those who got first name was a hierarchical construct, and I'd prefer to live in a more egalitarian world.
--- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: uk.media.radio.archers

Kosmo <krw@whitnet.uk> wrote:

You can't say you weren't warned.

What is this obsession with my name. I am Mr Whitbread.

I go to the dentist yesterday - I announce myself and they want my name.
I have given them my name.

Then along at the doctor's to have my eyes tested the system gives my
first name so they use that. I do not want to be addressed by my first name.

This morning I am trying to get some sense out of GWR (an almost
impossible task I admit) who want to know my full name. Why?

When insurers and so on phone they think they can ask for my full name
(I assume as part of their identity check) and then feel they can use my first names to talk to me.

What happened to politeness and treating individuals as adults. I am
not their friend, they are not mine - what is this obsession with using forenames and how do I stop it. It is a professional relationship and I believe that is underpinned by using respectful form of address.

rCyMay I have your first name please?rCO
Mister.
--
Toodle Pip, Mike McMillan
--- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: uk.media.radio.archers

On 07/10/2025 10:24, J. P. Gilliver wrote:

On 2025/10/7 9:1:46, Kosmo wrote:

You can't say you weren't warned.

What is this obsession with my name. I am Mr Whitbread.

Very much with you there. (Well, I am not Mr. Whitbread, but YKWIM.)

I go to the dentist yesterday - I announce myself and they want my name.
I have given them my name.

Then along at the doctor's to have my eyes tested the system gives my
first name so they use that. I do not want to be addressed by my first
name.

At least at my surgery they use the full name (well, first name and surname).>

This morning I am trying to get some sense out of GWR (an almost
impossible task I admit) who want to know my full name. Why?

I have always tried just to enter my initials. Sometimes the syntax
checker will accept full stops, sometimes it won't (sometimes not even a space). But in the last year or two (not sure), I've found an increasing number of online forms that _will_ accept "Mr. J. P." as a forename. Of course, that results in emails (and post) starting "dear Mr. J. P." (or,
more irritatingly, "Dear Jp" from the ones that wouldn't even accept
"J P"), but that does have the advantage that I immediately know which correspondence has been autogenerated.

When insurers and so on phone they think they can ask for my full name
(I assume as part of their identity check) and then feel they can use my

Yes, I grudgingly accept that for that reason, but not

first names to talk to me.

that aspect.

I have the additional bugbear that they usually mispronounce my surname
(they say the G as in gift rather than gin - our branch uses the
latter). I wouldn't mind when they've just seen it, but when I've just
given it, it's irritating: if actually face-to-face and feeling grumpy,
and I know what _their_ name is (e. g. from a nametag), I mispronounce _their_ name!

What happened to politeness and treating individuals as adults. I am
not their friend, they are not mine - what is this obsession with using
forenames and how do I stop it. It is a professional relationship and I
believe that is underpinned by using respectful form of address.

YA very much NAOU. To be fair, it's a UK/US difference: AIUI, using
forenames is the norm there, and implies no disrespect; and certainly,
that will be the reason where software is concerned (like insisting on
your address including a city). But where it has spread to
person-to-person communication, I agree it does seem rude, or at least condescending or uncaring.

You wish to keep them at arms length, since this is an entirely business matter.

They wish to 'become your friend' since they imagine you will have warm feelings for them and want to remain as their customer.
I doubt if this ever works, but the marketing rule book insists that
they keep on trying.
--
Sam Plusnet
--- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: uk.media.radio.archers

On 2025/10/7 19:26:1, Sam Plusnet wrote:

On 07/10/2025 10:24, J. P. Gilliver wrote:

[]

YA very much NAOU. To be fair, it's a UK/US difference: AIUI, using
forenames is the norm there, and implies no disrespect; and certainly,>> that will be the reason where software is concerned (like insisting on>> your address including a city). But where it has spread to
person-to-person communication, I agree it does seem rude, or at least>> condescending or uncaring.

You wish to keep them at arms length, since this is an entirely business matter.

They wish to 'become your friend' since they imagine you will have warm feelings for them and want to remain as their customer.

It's not just one-way - _I_ don't feel entirely comfortable calling
_them_ by their first name, either.

I doubt if this ever works, but the marketing rule book insists that
they keep on trying.

Yes. Another aspect is "to serve you better". Like a tennis ball.
--
J. P. Gilliver. UMRA: 1960/<1985 MB++G()ALIS-Ch++(p)Ar++T+H+Sh0!:`)DNAf
--- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: uk.media.radio.archers

On 2025/10/7 18:30:56, Mike McMillan wrote:

Kosmo <krw@whitnet.uk> wrote:

[]

What happened to politeness and treating individuals as adults. I am
not their friend, they are not mine - what is this obsession with using
forenames and how do I stop it. It is a professional relationship and I
believe that is underpinned by using respectful form of address.

rCyMay I have your first name please?rCO
Mister.

Or even "sir".

Though someone calling me sir usually makes me feel I'm about to be
arrested ("Is this your vehicle, sir?").

One wrinkle I have not objected to is "young man". (Especially now I'm
clearly not.)
--
J. P. Gilliver. UMRA: 1960/<1985 MB++G()ALIS-Ch++(p)Ar++T+H+Sh0!:`)DNAf
--- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: uk.media.radio.archers

On 07/10/2025 09:01, Kosmo wrote:

You can't say you weren't warned.

What is this obsession with my name.-a I am Mr Whitbread.

I go to the dentist yesterday - I announce myself and they want my name.
-aI have given them my name.

Then along at the doctor's to have my eyes tested the system gives my
first name so they use that.-a I do not want to be addressed by my first name.

This morning I am trying to get some sense out of GWR (an almost
impossible task I admit) who want to know my full name.-a Why?

When insurers and so on phone they think they can ask for my full name
(I assume as part of their identity check) and then feel they can use my first names to talk to me.

What happened to politeness and treating individuals as adults.-a I am
not their friend, they are not mine - what is this obsession with using forenames and how do I stop it.-a It is a professional relationship and I believe that is underpinned by using respectful form of address.

My father used to have a policy that any sales rep who used his first
name without asking first had just talked his firm out of any business. Otherwise I don't think he had a problem. What did annoy him was people
who couldn't get his initials right.

I'm normally happy with my first name. This is partly due to the time I
spent in the States where first name usage, or even nickname, is normal,
even in more formal situations.
--
Ric
--- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: uk.media.radio.archers

On 07/10/2025 18:30, Mike McMillan wrote:

Kosmo <krw@whitnet.uk> wrote:

You can't say you weren't warned.

What is this obsession with my name. I am Mr Whitbread.

I go to the dentist yesterday - I announce myself and they want my name.
I have given them my name.

Then along at the doctor's to have my eyes tested the system gives my
first name so they use that. I do not want to be addressed by my first
name.

This morning I am trying to get some sense out of GWR (an almost
impossible task I admit) who want to know my full name. Why?

When insurers and so on phone they think they can ask for my full name
(I assume as part of their identity check) and then feel they can use my
first names to talk to me.

What happened to politeness and treating individuals as adults. I am
not their friend, they are not mine - what is this obsession with using
forenames and how do I stop it. It is a professional relationship and I
believe that is underpinned by using respectful form of address.

rCyMay I have your first name please?rCO
Mister.

I used to know someone who registered for a supermarket loyalty scheme
under the pseudonym of Mister Reaman. He took immense pleasure at
checkouts when the cashier returned his card saying "Thank you mystery man".
--
Ric
--- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: uk.media.radio.archers

On 07/10/2025 10:24, J. P. Gilliver wrote:

I have always tried just to enter my initials. Sometimes the syntax
checker will accept full stops, sometimes it won't (sometimes not even a space). But in the last year or two (not sure), I've found an increasing number of online forms that_will_ accept "Mr. J. P." as a forename. Of course, that results in emails (and post) starting "dear Mr. J. P." (or,
more irritatingly, "Dear Jp" from the ones that wouldn't even accept
"J P"), but that does have the advantage that I immediately know which correspondence has been autogenerated.

I get annoyed by websites that have places for Forename and Surname but
won't allow me to enter my middle initial along with my forename. I
always include my middle initial when giving my name, wherever possible.

Staff at the local hospital are very good at asking "How do you like to
be known?" I always say "Jenny" and was very amused at a lovely male
nurse on the "eye ward" who made the usual inquiry, got the usual
response and called me "Jen" every time! I didn't mind, I'm happy with either.
--
Jenny M Benson
Wrexham, UK
--- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: uk.media.radio.archers

On 2025/10/8 12:33:25, Jenny M Benson wrote:

On 07/10/2025 10:24, J. P. Gilliver wrote:

I have always tried just to enter my initials. Sometimes the syntax
checker will accept full stops, sometimes it won't (sometimes not even a
space). But in the last year or two (not sure), I've found an increasing
number of online forms that_will_ accept "Mr. J. P." as a forename. Of>> course, that results in emails (and post) starting "dear Mr. J. P." (or,
more irritatingly, "Dear Jp" from the ones that wouldn't even accept
"J P"), but that does have the advantage that I immediately know which>> correspondence has been autogenerated.

I get annoyed by websites that have places for Forename and Surname but won't allow me to enter my middle initial along with my forename. I
always include my middle initial when giving my name, wherever possible.

Glad to find someone else who considers it matters! (Not that I'm sure
_why_; I never _use_ the Paul. But I like both initials.)>

Staff at the local hospital are very good at asking "How do you like to
be known?" I always say "Jenny" and was very amused at a lovely male
nurse on the "eye ward" who made the usual inquiry, got the usual
response and called me "Jen" every time! I didn't mind, I'm happy with either.

That takes me back! A friend of my parents - I think she was of Welsh
origin - used to call me Johnny; nobody else did, and I think I didn't
like it, though I liked her a lot. She was the only person who I
remember ever doing so.
--
J. P. Gilliver. UMRA: 1960/<1985 MB++G()ALIS-Ch++(p)Ar++T+H+Sh0!:`)DNAf
--- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: uk.media.radio.archers

On 08/10/2025 12:33, Jenny M Benson wrote:

On 07/10/2025 10:24, J. P. Gilliver wrote:

I have always tried just to enter my initials. Sometimes the syntax
checker will accept full stops, sometimes it won't (sometimes not even a
space). But in the last year or two (not sure), I've found an increasing
number of online forms that_will_ accept "Mr. J. P." as a forename. Of
course, that results in emails (and post) starting "dear Mr. J. P." (or,
more irritatingly, "Dear Jp" from the ones that wouldn't even accept
"J P"), but that does have the advantage that I immediately know which
correspondence has been autogenerated.

I get annoyed by websites that have places for Forename and Surname but won't allow me to enter my middle initial along with my forename.-a I
always include my middle initial when giving my name, wherever possible.

The alternative would be websites which _do_ have a field for a middle
name, and refuse to accept the form unless it is filled in.

I have come across this - but not recently.
--
Sam Plusnet
--- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: uk.media.radio.archers

On 2025/10/8 19:36:43, Sam Plusnet wrote:
[]

The alternative would be websites which _do_ have a field for a middle > name, and refuse to accept the form unless it is filled in.

I have come across this - but not recently.

Ah, the old "Hiram Q Hornswoggler" template.
I have heard of people who used "John Smith N. M. I." (for no middle
initial), but don't know if there's any truth in it. (I guess they'd
have to use the NMI _as_ the middle name on such a site.)
--
J. P. Gilliver. UMRA: 1960/<1985 MB++G()ALIS-Ch++(p)Ar++T+H+Sh0!:`)DNAf
--- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: uk.media.radio.archers

It is working but I can't see the password and will it work if I close
Agent? Been searching info for changing password or seeing it. I
amscared to close Agent, to test, in case it won't re-open.
--- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: uk.media.radio.archers

On Thu, 09 Oct 2025 09:45:28 +0100, vicky.ayech@gmail.com wrote:

It is working but I can't see the password and will it work if I close
Agent? Been searching info for changing password or seeing it. I
amscared to close Agent, to test, in case it won't re-open.

I can't log in to the berlin server. it doesn't like my password to I
can't get on to see or change it.
--- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: uk.media.radio.archers

On 2025/10/9 9:46:57, vicky.ayech@gmail.com wrote:

On Thu, 09 Oct 2025 09:45:28 +0100, vicky.ayech@gmail.com wrote:

It is working but I can't see the password and will it work if I close>> Agent? Been searching info for changing password or seeing it. I
amscared to close Agent, to test, in case it won't re-open.

I can't log in to the berlin server. it doesn't like my password to I
can't get on to see or change it.

Is there no "forgot password?" or similar link?
--
J. P. Gilliver. UMRA: 1960/<1985 MB++G()ALIS-Ch++(p)Ar++T+H+Sh0!:`)DNAf
--- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: uk.media.radio.archers

On 08/10/2025 19:36, Sam Plusnet wrote:

I get annoyed by websites that have places for Forename and Surname
but won't allow me to enter my middle initial along with my forename.
I always include my middle initial when giving my name, wherever
possible.

The alternative would be websites which _do_ have a field for a middle
name, and refuse to accept the form unless it is filled in.

A perfectly acceptable (in my opinion!) alternative is to have a single
field for Forename which accepts Forename-space-Initial(s).
--
Jenny M Benson
Wrexham, UK
--- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: uk.media.radio.archers

On 9.10.25 11:30, Jenny M Benson wrote:

On 08/10/2025 19:36, Sam Plusnet wrote:

I get annoyed by websites that have places for Forename and Surname
but won't allow me to enter my middle initial along with my forename.
I always include my middle initial when giving my name, wherever
possible.

The alternative would be websites which _do_ have a field for a middle
name, and refuse to accept the form unless it is filled in.

A perfectly acceptable (in my opinion!) alternative is to have a single field for Forename which accepts Forename-space-Initial(s).

Or just a couple of initials.
--
Kosmo Richard W
www.travelswmw.whitnet.uk
https://tinyurl.com/KRWpics
--- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: uk.media.radio.archers

On Thu, 9 Oct 2025 11:33:54 +0100, Kosmo <krw@whitnet.uk> wrote:

On 9.10.25 11:30, Jenny M Benson wrote:

On 08/10/2025 19:36, Sam Plusnet wrote:

I get annoyed by websites that have places for Forename and Surname
but won't allow me to enter my middle initial along with my forename. >>>> I always include my middle initial when giving my name, wherever
possible.

The alternative would be websites which _do_ have a field for a middle
name, and refuse to accept the form unless it is filled in.

A perfectly acceptable (in my opinion!) alternative is to have a single
field for Forename which accepts Forename-space-Initial(s).

Or just a couple of initials.

I finally told B who fixed it :) He remembered it from years ago.Think
I had a wrong port.
--- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2

From Newsgroup: uk.media.radio.archers

On 9.10.25 14:05, vicky.ayech@gmail.com wrote:

On Thu, 9 Oct 2025 11:33:54 +0100, Kosmo <krw@whitnet.uk> wrote:

On 9.10.25 11:30, Jenny M Benson wrote:

On 08/10/2025 19:36, Sam Plusnet wrote:

I get annoyed by websites that have places for Forename and Surname
but won't allow me to enter my middle initial along with my forename. >>>>> I always include my middle initial when giving my name, wherever
possible.

The alternative would be websites which _do_ have a field for a middle >>>> name, and refuse to accept the form unless it is filled in.

A perfectly acceptable (in my opinion!) alternative is to have a single
field for Forename which accepts Forename-space-Initial(s).

Or just a couple of initials.

I finally told B who fixed it :) He remembered it from years ago.Think
I had a wrong port.

Well done. Remembering these things is so f****** complicated.

In the house we have wifi which because of thick walls needs a powerline system. There are now 4 live powerline units three have the same
password but one of them will not allow a 5 character password so has to
be different. Why is it always that one which needs accessing? Why
suddenly change a standard when effectively it is the same model but
someone somewhere has issued a new piece of software!
--
Kosmo Richard W
www.travelswmw.whitnet.uk
https://tinyurl.com/KRWpics
--- Synchronet 3.21a-Linux NewsLink 1.2