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It looks like President Trump may have finally achieved what many long >thought impossible, as Israel and Hamas have agreed to the first phase--
of a peace agreement.
However, this ceasefire didn't come without conditions from Hamas.
Here are 10 demands Hamas is making as part of the peace deal:
1. Israel must eliminate 100% of its Jews: This is a deal breaker for Hamas.
2. New pagers: The last batch had some problems.
3. A new fleet of paragliders: They have assured everyone it's only for >recreational purposes.
4. Goats. Lots of goats: They won't say why.
5. Super Bowl tickets: They're apparently huge Bad Bunny fans.
6. 100 virgins each: They will settle for 72, but are setting the bar
high for negotiation.
7. Israel must continue to keep Greta Thunberg away from Gaza: The
Gazans are terrified she'll eventually reach their shore.
8. Signed 8x10s of Tucker Carlson: Entirely not related to the goats.
9. A nuke: For, like, their power grid or something.
10. The entire land of Israel: All of it. Without all the Israelis.
Is that too much to ask? Perfectly reasonable demands, right?
- Babylon Bee
On Fri, 10 Oct 2025 12:36:19 -0700, Dude <punditster@gmail.com> wrote:
Yeah, bb you think you are funny. I prefer the onion.
It looks like President Trump may have finally achieved what many longthought impossible, as Israel and Hamas have agreed to the first phase
of a peace agreement.
However, this ceasefire didn't come without conditions from Hamas.
Here are 10 demands Hamas is making as part of the peace deal:
1. Israel must eliminate 100% of its Jews: This is a deal breaker for Hamas. >>
2. New pagers: The last batch had some problems.
3. A new fleet of paragliders: They have assured everyone it's only for
recreational purposes.
4. Goats. Lots of goats: They won't say why.
5. Super Bowl tickets: They're apparently huge Bad Bunny fans.
6. 100 virgins each: They will settle for 72, but are setting the bar
high for negotiation.
7. Israel must continue to keep Greta Thunberg away from Gaza: The
Gazans are terrified she'll eventually reach their shore.
8. Signed 8x10s of Tucker Carlson: Entirely not related to the goats.
9. A nuke: For, like, their power grid or something.
10. The entire land of Israel: All of it. Without all the Israelis.
Is that too much to ask? Perfectly reasonable demands, right?
- Babylon Bee