Arthur Spitzer <
arspitzer2@gmail.com> wrote at 16:10 this Friday (GMT):
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From: Arthur Spitzer <arsp... at earthlink.net>
Subject: LNH: Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon #1 to (??) Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative,alt.comics.lnh
Date: Fri, 14 Apr 2006 18:41:10 -0700 (PDT)
The Jong Company Proudly Presents:
Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon
Issue Number One
"The Komodo Dragon That Barked -- Easter!"
The Ultimate Ninja stretched his arms and gave a yawn as he walked into the LNHQ's lobby. He was still recovering from the Gigantic Cheeezus Cake
Christ Good Friday, which had happened just yesterday when a radical sect of Opus Dei followers unleashed a gigantic rampaging sentient red-wine-communion-wafer cheesecake statue of Jesus Christ on the citizens
of Net.ropolis. Fortunately, Cheesecake Eater Lad (with the help of a giant cosmic fork that Kid Kirby made) was able to devour the entire monstrosity. Alas, there was a cost. Cheesecake Eater Lad was locked away in one of the LNHQs bathrooms. And he'd probably be in there for a week at least. The Ultimate Ninja just hoped today would be uneventful. The ninja guessed though that the LNH would be needed for crowd control at the grocery stores to keep the Peep junkies and Cadbury Egg addicts from killing each other.
As he stepped into the lobby for a cup of coffee and to brief the receptionist Kyoko Ishikawa on a few items, he sensed that something was afoot. A bunch of LNH'rs were loitering around the receptionist desk laughing and fooling around. This was never a good sign. What were they doing? Their attention seemed to be focused on something. Some kind of animal. A Komodo Dragon?
The Ultimate Ninja cleared his throat.
"Oh, hi UN! Didn't see you there. Isn't this guy just the coolest!" responded Cannon Fodder pointing to the large Komodo Dragon lying in the lobby wearing an Easter Bonnet on its head.
The Ultimate Ninja gripped the hilt of his katana blade tightly. "What in hell is this Komodo Dragon doing here? Don't you people realize how dangerous these animals are?"
"Relax, UN. This isn't *any* ordinary Komodo Dragon. This is Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon! He wouldn't hurt anyone. He's here to teach us about the true meaning of Easter because we've lost our way. You see, Easter -- it's not about coloring eggs and hiding them, it's not about
eating those weird marshmallowy peeps, or eating jelly beans, or rabbits named Peter Cottontail. No, it's about something deeper. Something..."
"Cannon Fodder, you idiot! He's getting ready to attack you!" shouted the Ultimate Ninja. "Get away from there!"
"You're judging him by his appearance, UN. He just wants to teach us, UN. Look I'll prove it." Cannon Fodder walked up close to the Komodo Dragon and gently put his hand on the lizard's head. And that's when Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon lunged at Cannon Fodder's throat. The Komodo Dragon's powerful jaws sank its into Cannon Fodder's tasty neck. Blood started spurting out as Cannon Fodder struggled to escape. The Ultimate Ninja quickly jumped in the air and tackled the giant lizard and pried the animal's jaws away from Cannon Fodder. Then the Ultimate Ninja repeatedly stabbed Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon with his ginsu blade till the beast was finally slain. Alas, he was too late to save Cannon Fodder
who had a heart attack caused by a long life of unhealthy eating habits.
There was silence as the room full of shocked LNH'rs just stared at the corpses of Cannon Fodder and Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon lying on the cold blood soaked floor.
Eventually, Deductive Logic Man examined the body of Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon. Taking his pipe out of his mouth he used it to point to the lizard's mouth. "Ah-ha! Now I see the problem. If you look closely -- you'll notice that Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon has a tiny little black mustache -- which means... This isn't our "Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon" -- but in fact this is an Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon from an Alt.er.net Universe where all the "Holiday Miracle Pets" are corrupt and evil."
"Well," said a relieved Pulls-Paper-Out-of-Hats Lad. "That explains everything."
********
NEXT TIME: Well, now that I think about it -- this probably will be a
one issue miniseries.
********
Credits:
Ultimate Ninja, Deductive Logic Man, and Cannon Fodder are wReam's
Arthur "Have a happy Easter weekend!" Spitzer
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<div dir=3D"ltr"><br>From: Arthur Spitzer <arsp... at <a href=3D"http://=
earthlink.net">earthlink.net</a>><br>Subject: LNH: Eggplant the Easter M= iracle Komodo Dragon #1 to (??)<br>Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative,alt= .comics.lnh<br>Date: Fri, 14 Apr 2006 18:41:10 -0700 (PDT)<br><br><br><br>=
=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0The Jong Comp=
any Proudly Presents:<br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0Eg= gplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon<br><br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =
=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 Issue Number One<br= >><br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 "The Komodo Dragon That=
Barked -- Easter!"<br><br><br><br>The Ultimate Ninja stretched his ar= ms and gave a yawn as he walked into the<br>LNHQ's lobby.=C2=A0 He was = still recovering from the Gigantic Cheeezus Cake<br>Christ Good Friday, whi= ch had happened just yesterday when a radical sect of<br>Opus Dei followers=
unleashed a gigantic rampaging sentient<br>red-wine-communion-wafer cheese= cake statue of Jesus Christ on the citizens<br>of Net.ropolis.=C2=A0 Fortun= ately, Cheesecake Eater Lad (with the help of a giant<br>cosmic fork that K= id Kirby made) was able to devour the entire monstrosity.<br>Alas, there wa= s a cost.=C2=A0 Cheesecake Eater Lad was locked away in one of the<br>LNHQs=
bathrooms.=C2=A0 And he'd probably be in there for a week at least.=C2=
=A0 The<br>Ultimate Ninja just hoped today would be uneventful.=C2=A0 The n=
inja guessed<br>though that the LNH would be needed for crowd control at th= e grocery stores<br>to keep the Peep junkies and Cadbury Egg addicts from k= illing each other.<br><br>As he stepped into the lobby for a cup of coffee = and to brief the<br>receptionist Kyoko Ishikawa on a few items, he sensed t= hat something was<br>afoot.=C2=A0 A bunch of LNH'rs were loitering arou= nd the receptionist desk<br>laughing and fooling around.=C2=A0 This was nev= er a good sign.=C2=A0 What were they<br>doing?=C2=A0 Their attention seemed=
to be focused on something.=C2=A0 Some kind of<br>animal.=C2=A0 A Komodo D= ragon?<br><br>The Ultimate Ninja cleared his throat.<br><br>"Oh, hi UN= !=C2=A0 Didn't see you there.=C2=A0 Isn't this guy just the coolest= !"<br>responded Cannon Fodder pointing to the large Komodo Dragon lyin= g in the<br>lobby wearing an Easter Bonnet on its head.<br><br>The Ultimate=
Ninja gripped the hilt of his katana blade tightly. =C2=A0"What in<br=
hell is this Komodo Dragon doing here?=C2=A0 Don't you people realize =
how<br>dangerous these animals are?"<br><br>"Relax, UN.=C2=A0 Thi= s isn't *any* ordinary Komodo Dragon.=C2=A0 This is Eggplant the<br>Eas= ter Miracle Komodo Dragon!=C2=A0 He wouldn't hurt anyone.=C2=A0 He'= s here to teach<br>us about the true meaning of Easter because we've lo= st our way.=C2=A0 You see,<br>Easter -- it's not about coloring eggs an= d hiding them, it's not about<br>eating those weird marshmallowy peeps,=
or eating jelly beans, or rabbits<br>named Peter Cottontail.=C2=A0 No, it&= #39;s about something deeper.=C2=A0 Something..."<br><br>"Cannon = Fodder, you idiot!=C2=A0 He's getting ready to attack you!" shoute= d the<br>Ultimate Ninja. =C2=A0"Get away from there!"<br><br>&quo= t;You're judging him by his appearance, UN.=C2=A0 He just wants to teac= h us, UN.<br>Look I'll prove it." =C2=A0Cannon Fodder walked up cl= ose to the Komodo Dragon and<br>gently put his hand on the lizard's hea= d.=C2=A0 And that's when Eggplant the<br>Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon l= unged at Cannon Fodder's throat.=C2=A0 The Komodo<br>Dragon's power= ful jaws sank its into Cannon Fodder's tasty neck.=C2=A0 Blood<br>start= ed spurting out as Cannon Fodder struggled to escape.=C2=A0 The Ultimate<br=
Ninja quickly jumped in the air and tackled the giant lizard and pried the= ><br>animal's jaws away from Cannon Fodder.=C2=A0 Then the Ultimate Ninj=
a repeatedly<br>stabbed Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon with his = ginsu blade till<br>the beast was finally slain.=C2=A0 Alas, he was too lat= e to save Cannon Fodder<br>who had a heart attack caused by a long life of = unhealthy eating habits.<br><br>There was silence as the room full of shock= ed LNH'rs just stared at the<br>corpses of Cannon Fodder and Eggplant t= he Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon lying<br>on the cold blood soaked floor.<br=
<br>Eventually, Deductive Logic Man examined the body of Eggplant the East=
er<br>Miracle Komodo Dragon.=C2=A0 Taking his pipe out of his mouth he used=
it to point<br>to the lizard's mouth. =C2=A0"Ah-ha!=C2=A0 Now I s= ee the problem.=C2=A0 If you look closely<br>-- you'll notice that Eggp= lant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon has a tiny<br>little black mustache -= - which means... This isn't our "Eggplant the Easter<br>Miracle Ko= modo Dragon" -- but in fact this is an Eggplant the Easter Miracle<br>= Komodo Dragon from an <a href=3D"http://Alt.er.net">Alt.er.net</a> Universe=
where all the "Holiday Miracle<br>Pets" are corrupt and evil.&qu= ot;<br><br>"Well," said a relieved Pulls-Paper-Out-of-Hats Lad. =
=C2=A0"That explains<br>everything."<br><br><br>********<br>NEXT =
TIME: Well, now that I think about it -- this probably will be a<br>=C2=A0 =
=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 one issue miniseries.<br>********<br><br= >>Credits:<br>Ultimate Ninja, Deductive Logic Man, and Cannon Fodder are wRe=
am's<br><br><br>Arthur "Have a happy Easter weekend!" Spitzer=
</div>
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Not the evil clone!
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