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from https://babylonbee.com/news/doj-warns-if-trump-is-elected-he-will-do-to-them-all-the-stuff-theyre-doing-to-him

DOJ Warns If Trump Is Elected He Will Do To Them All The Stuff They're
Doing To Him
Politics
·
Sep 14, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Officials from the Department of Justice issued a
public warning that, if Donald Trump is elected, he will do to them all
of the stuff they're currently doing to him.

According to Attorney General Merrick Garland, Trump's election could
prove disastrous to the DOJ.

"It's important that we remember that if Trump manages to seize power
again, he is going to treat the DOJ exactly as horribly as we are
currently treating him," Garland said at a press briefing. "He will
definitely start imprisoning political opponents, harassing them with
frivolous lawsuits, and convicting them as felons through kangaroo
courts just like we did to him. In legal terms, this is known as the
'I'm Rubber, You're Glue' principle, or the 'What's Good for the Goose
Is Good for the Gander' precedent. We cannot give this dangerous threat
to democracy a chance to strike back at those of us who are defending
democracy by denying him his constitutional rights. He must be stopped."

While several experts publicly questioned whether or not Garland's
warning betrayed the fact that the DOJ was biased against Trump, the
experts quickly received visits from federal agents and have since
ceased to express said opinions.

At publishing time, the FBI had joined the DOJ in warning that Trump
would probably sign off on armed raids on his political opponent's
residences in a fashion similar to the way he was raided by the FBI and DOJ.



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